Team members who cannot agree on the game plan will never win the game. Similarly, husbands and wives who can not agree on decisions will never produce a winning marriage. The prophet Amos asked, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” (Amos 3:3). Walking together requires coordinated effort. No less is required for harmonious marriages. Husbands and wives should always work toward agreement on decisions.

Reaching agreement, however, is a process. Individuals have personal thoughts and feelings on every subject. Our thoughts and feelings do not always match. We must listen, understand, and compromise to reach agreement. Compromise is not a negative word. Webster describes a compromise as “as settlement... by consent reached by mutual concessions” or as “something intermediate between or blending qualities of two different things.”

We each share our perspective, and then we look for common ground. We may not fully agree, but we make concessions and we blend our ideas. Each partner should be willing to give and to change, if each one can see the benefit to the other. The attitude of love is so important. Without a spirit of love - seeking the welfare of the other - we may never reach agreement. Take time to pray asking God...

• To teach us how to seek the best for our loved ones with a spirit of love;
• To teach us how to reach positive, healthy compromises;
• To set the direction for our close relationships so that you can truly walk together.

Reflect on more questions:

• What does the decision-making process look like in your close relationships? Think of some specific, big decisions you’ve made and how you reached them.
• What pitfalls do you see in how you disagree? Do you fight about issues that don’t really matter to you rather than humbly deferring to your loved one? Do you take a strong enough stand on issues that do matter to you?
• How well are you listening to each other? Empathizing? Staying engaged and honoring each other, even when you disagree? Think about where your communication breaks down - and what you can work to improve.

Consider more passages for further study on Compromise:

Matthew 18:19 Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

Romans 14:1-23 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.5 One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. 6 Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.10 You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister[a]? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written: “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’”[b]12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. 14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. 15 If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.[c]

James 4:2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.

Amos 3:1-11 Hear this word, people of Israel, the word the Lord has spoken against you—against the whole family I brought up out of Egypt:2 “You only have I chosen of all the families of the earth; therefore I will punish you for all your sins.”3 Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? 4 Does a lion roar in the thicket when it has no prey? Does it growl in its den when it has caught nothing? 5 Does a bird swoop down to a trap on the ground when no bait is there? Does a trap spring up from the ground if it has not caught anything? 6 When a trumpet sounds in a city, do not the people tremble? When disaster comes to a city, has not the Lord caused it?7 Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets.8 The lion has roared— who will not fear? The Sovereign Lord has spoken— who can but prophesy?9 Proclaim to the fortresses of Ashdod and to the fortresses of Egypt: “Assemble yourselves on the mountains of Samaria; see the great unrest within her and the oppression among her people.”10 “They do not know how to do right,” declares the Lord, “who store up in their fortresses what they have plundered and looted.”11 Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says: “An enemy will overrun your land, pull down your strongholds and plunder your fortresses.”

Know what really matters with your goals in walking together. Keep the respect for each other with love. Devotional by Gary Chapman.