If you express love to your children and keep their love tanks full, you probably know that requests are more productive than demands. No one likes to be controlled, and demands are efforts at controlling. Demands may get results, but they are almost always accompanied by resentment. Requests tend to keep the relationship positive, while demands drive a wedge between people.

Young adults also tend to respond much more positively to suggestions than they do to proclamations. When we make God-like proclamations, our children are likely to dismiss them as, “The wind is blowing again,” and not give serious thought to them. However, when we offer suggestions, we acknowledge our humanity and limited experience. We simply share our best thoughts, which children will more likely receive and give due consideration.

Take time to pray and thank God for giving you a model of parenthood in the story of Esther. Ask Him to help you follow Mordecai’s example of exerting influence. Ask the Lord to bless your efforts to interact positively with your children.

Take time to reflect with these questions:

How good are you at keeping your children’s love tanks full? Explain.

How good would your children say you are at keeping each of their love tanks full?

Which will be most difficult for you: giving requests instead of demands or offering suggestions instead of proclamations? Explain.

Consider these passages for further study on Communication:

Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.

James 1:26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.

Esther 4:12-14 So Hathach gave Esther’s message to Mordecai. Mordecai sent this reply to Esther: “Don’t think for a moment that because you’re in the palace you will escape when all other Jews are killed. If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?

I love the story of Esther showing an example of her strong courage and determination to do what is right. These are great insights of Gary Chapman. Keep encouraging our children and working in keeping their love tanks full.

We were created to live in unison with God. We are at our best when we cooperate with Him. As one individual recalls, “I had wrestled for weeks with an engineering problem and was unable to come up with a workable solution. Finally, a friend of mine suggested that I pray and ask God to give me an answer. I did, and within thirty minutes, it came to me. I had the solution. So, I have decided that God and I make a pretty good team.

God is committed to caring for His children. This does not mean we should sit back and expect God to do everything. There is an old German proverb that says, “God gives the birds their food, but He does not throw it into their nests.” We are to use the mind and body He has given us, but we are to do it in cooperation with Him, looking to Him for wisdom so that we can complete what He desires us to accomplish in life.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank God for His commitment to caring for you. Ask Him to help you know how much to do on your own and how much to rely on Him when you face a challenging situation.

When you take time to discuss or reflect on these questions:

When are you most tempted to tackle a problem on your own?

When are you most likely to include your spouse in the process?

When are you most willing to include God in the process?

Consider these passages for further study on Trusting God:

2 Samuel 7:28 Sovereign Lord, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.

Psalm 9:10 Those who know your name trust in you,
    for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Proverbs 3:5: Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;

Nehemiah 4:21-23 So we continued the work with half the men holding spears, from the first light of dawn till the stars came out. 22 At that time, I also said to the people, “Have every man and his helper stay inside Jerusalem at night so they can serve us as guards by night and as workers by day.” ²³ Neither I nor my brothers nor my men nor the guards with me took off our clothes; each had his weapon, even when he went for water.^[a]

When we feel weak, we lean on the Lord and trust Him more. Do we agree? Thanks to Gary Chapman for sharing these thoughts that force us to challenge our trust and commitment to the Lord. Look to the Lord for wisdom when you need Him most.

The next step is confessing your failures to your loved one and asking for forgiveness. Try this: “I know my actions have hurt you deeply. My words have been unkind and unfair. I have neglected you. I cannot undo what I have done, but if you forgive me, I would like to show you that I indeed love, respect, and appreciate you. I believe we can build a healthy marriage together, and that is what I want.

Your spouse may not reciprocate right away. Allow time for him or her to see that you are genuinely seeking to build a new relationship.

Take time to pray and ask God to…

Remind you of harsh, critical, or condemning words you’ve spoken to your loved one.

Forgive you for your hurtful words and actions.

Give you the strength to seek your loved one’s forgiveness.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

How have you contributed to the lack of intimacy in your marriage?

How would you respond if your loved one said something like the apology quoted in the devotion?

What would it take for you to say something like that to your loved one?

Consider these passages for further study on Intimacy:

Proverbs 5:15- 19 Drink water from your own well – share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5

But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Thessalonians 4:3- 7 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then, each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor- not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.

Nehemiah 4:10 The people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.

When you keep love first, everything aligns. Thanks to Gary Chapman for this devotional. Build the intimacy of your relationships to keep them strong.

We too may sense God calling us to a task or mission yet still not feel up to the challenge. Like Moses, we may protest, “Choose somebody else, Lord!” But as someone has said, “God does not always call the equipped, but He always equips the called.”

When we pray consistently and trust Him completely, God will fit us for the task to which He has called us. Some of us may struggle with an unhealthy perfectionism that holds us back. We think we need to wait until we have more skills, more time, more money or wisdom or health – but that attitude, as author Warren Wiersbe has said, “is not humility; it is the worst kind of pride.” If we rely on God, He will use us – just as we are – to accomplish His purposes.

Take time to pray and ask:

To think of one thing you feel called to do that you have hesitated to begin.

Consider whether God is telling you to wait or if you are holding back because you are afraid of failing.

Ask God to give you clarity and peace in the matter.

Reflect on these questions:

When God calls you to do something, which of your skills and talents do you think He will put to work?

What kind of ministry might God be calling you to as a couple?

How will you recognize God’s call?

Consider these passages for further study on Being Called by God:

Proverbs 16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps.

Isaiah 43:1-13

But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
³ For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush^[a] and Seba in your stead.
⁴ Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
    and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life.
⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
    I will bring your children from the east
    and gather you from the west.
⁶ I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
    and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
⁷ everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,
    whom I formed and made.”

⁸ Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,
    who have ears but are deaf.
⁹ All the nations gather together
    and the peoples assemble.
Which of their gods foretold this
    and proclaimed to us the former things?
Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,
    so that others may hear and say, “It is true.”
¹⁰ “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,
    “and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
    and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
    nor will there be one after me.
¹¹ I, even I, am the Lord,
    and apart from me there is no savior.
¹² I have revealed and saved and proclaimed—
    I, and not some foreign god among you.
You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God.
¹³     Yes, and from ancient days I am he.
No one can deliver out of my hand.
    When I act, who can reverse it?”

Romans 11:29 for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.

Nehemiah 2:1-20

In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before, ² so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.”

I was very much afraid, ³ but I said to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?”

⁴ The king said to me, “What is it you want?”

Then I prayed to the God of heaven, ⁵ and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.”

⁶ Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked me, “How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?” It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time.

⁷ I also said to him, “If it pleases the king, may I have letters to the governors of Trans-Euphrates, so that they will provide me safe-conduct until I arrive in Judah? ⁸ And may I have a letter to Asaph, keeper of the royal park, so he will give me timber to make beams for the gates of the citadel by the temple and for the city wall and for the residence I will occupy?” And because the gracious hand of my God was on me, the king granted my requests. ⁹ So I went to the governors of Trans-Euphrates and gave them the king’s letters. The king had also sent army officers and cavalry with me.

¹⁰ When Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official heard about this, they were very much disturbed that someone had come to promote the welfare of the Israelites.

Nehemiah Inspects Jerusalem’s Walls

¹¹ I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days ¹² I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on.

¹³ By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal^[a] Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. ¹⁴ Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King’s Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; ¹⁵ so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall. Finally, I turned back and reentered through the Valley Gate. ¹⁶ The officials did not know where I had gone or what I was doing, because as yet I had said nothing to the Jews or the priests or nobles or officials or any others who would be doing the work.

¹⁷ Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” ¹⁸ I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me.

They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.

¹⁹ But when Sanballat the Horonite, Tobiah the Ammonite official and Geshem the Arab heard about it, they mocked and ridiculed us. “What is this you are doing?” they asked. “Are you rebelling against the king?”

²⁰ I answered them by saying, “The God of heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding, but as for you, you have no share in Jerusalem or any claim or historic right to it.”

Reach out to the Lord, no matter what the situation may be! A great thought by Gary Chapman to show how to step out on faith.

One of their most profound commemorations is Passover. It’s fitting, then, that the events of Ezra 6:19-22 occurred during Passover. God saw His people’s needs and acted by changing the king’s heart. The king not only allowed them to begin rebuilding the temple in Jerusalem, but he also gave them the materials they needed.

God’s past acts of service should give us comfort and hope today. If we will pray to Him, He will respond with acts of love. God knows how to take care of His own.

Take time to pray and thank God for the acts of service He has shown us. Ask Him to help you trust in His continued acts of love, especially in circumstances that are causing you stress or concern right now.

Reflect on these questions:

Name three acts of service God has performed on your behalf – or on behalf of your family.

How often do you commemorate God’s acts of service? Do you think it’s often enough?

How can you help your children fully appreciate God’s acts of service?

Consider these passages for further study of God’s love.

Psalm 86:15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
    slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ezra 6:19-22 On the fourteenth day of the first month, the exiles celebrated the Passover. ²⁰ The priests and Levites had purified themselves and were all ceremonially clean. The Levites slaughtered the Passover lamb for all the exiles, for their relatives the priests, and for themselves. ²¹ So the Israelites who had returned from exile ate it, together with all who had separated themselves from the unclean practices of their Gentile neighbors to seek the Lord, the God of Israel. ²² For seven days they celebrated with joy the Festival of Unleavened Bread because the Lord had filled them with joy by changing the attitude of the king of Assyria so that he assisted them in the work on the house of God, the God of Israel.

Great direction by Gary Chapman. A way to focus on your servant attitude and think about ways you can serve the Lord and others.

What are your priorities? How often do they get lost in the busyness of everyday life? If you struggle with giving priority to the things that are truly important in your life, you can take steps to correct the problem.

The best way to overcome busyness is to prioritize. Identify the things in your life that are more important than others. If the most important things do not take priority, then your time and energy invested in other matters will fail to produce the desired results in your life. After you identify the priorities that are most important to you, make them part of your daily and weekly routine. Remember, if your priorities are not reflected in your schedule, they no longer remain priorities.

Take time to pray and ask God to…

Show you what your priorities really are, based on the amount of time and attention you give them.

Help you realign your priorities so that they honor Him.

Take more time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

When people ask what your priorities are, what do you say?

Based on the amount of time you give each area of your life, what are your actual priorities?

What steps can you take this week to begin realigning your priorities?

Consider these passages for further study on priorities:

Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other gods before^[a] me.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Ezra 3:1-6 When the seventh month came and the Israelites had settled in their towns, the people assembled together as one in Jerusalem. ² Then Joshua son of Jozadak and his fellow priests and Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel and his associates began to build the altar of the God of Israel to sacrifice burnt offerings on it, in accordance with what is written in the Law of Moses the man of God. ³ Despite their fear of the peoples around them, they built the altar on its foundation and sacrificed burnt offerings on it to the Lord, both the morning and evening sacrifices. ⁴ Then in accordance with what is written, they celebrated the Festival of Tabernacles with the required number of burnt offerings prescribed for each day. ⁵ After that, they presented the regular burnt offerings, the New Moon sacrifices and the sacrifices for all the appointed sacred festivals of the Lord, as well as those brought as freewill offerings to the Lord. ⁶ On the first day of the seventh month they began to offer burnt offerings to the Lord, though the foundation of the Lord’s temple had not yet been laid.

It always puts things straight when we put our priorities straight. When the Lord is first, everything aligns. Great points of Gary Chapman. Keep finding ways to evaluate your priorities to set things straight with the Lord.

In 2 Chronicles 32:24-26, Hezekiah repented after his lack of gratitude angered the Lord. God had healed him from an illness, but Hezekiah was too proud to acknowledge it. However, when the Lord’s anger stirred, Hezekiah forgot his pride and rushed to make amends. He didn’t just apologize in Prayer; he humbled himself. He made sure his actions backed up his words.

When we hurt our spouses, we must acknowledge that what we have done is wrong and that just apologizing is not enough to make it right. We also need to make a plan to change our actions so we don’t hurt our loved ones in the same way again.

Take time to pray and acknowledge that you need to do more than say you are sorry when you do wrong. Admit that you need to turn away from your wrong patterns of relating to your loved one. Ask the Lord to help you change and give you the strength to repent.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

What would you say to a woman who was fed up with having the same argument with her husband for thirty years?

Can you picture you and your loved one arguing about the same old things thirty years from now? Explain.

How can the spouse who’s been wronged help the other come to repentance?

Consider these passages for further study on repentance:

2 Corinthians 7:8-11  Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— ⁹ yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. ¹⁰ Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. ¹¹ See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point, you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.

2 Timothy 2:24-26 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. ²⁵ Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, ²⁶ and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Revelation 2:4-5 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. ⁵ Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

2 Chronicles 32:24-27

In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. He prayed to the Lord, who answered him and gave him a miraculous sign. ²⁵ But Hezekiah’s heart was proud and he did not respond to the kindness shown him; therefore the Lord’s wrath was on him and Judah and Jerusalem. ²⁶ Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the Lord’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah.

²⁷ Hezekiah had very great wealth and honor, and he made treasuries for his silver and gold and his precious stones, spices, shields, and all kinds of valuables.

God gave us the ability to have the reason to know right and wrong. When we learn and are aware that we did wrong, it’s that strength to set things right. Repent can be very powerful and forgiveness to allow us to heal in many ways. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman to help us see more insights.

Uzziah learned too late that explosive, angry behavior is never constructive. It not only hurts the person to whom it is directed, but it destroys the self-esteem of the perpetrators who are out of control. In the heat of such angry explosions, people say and do things they later regret. Undisciplined anger that expresses itself in verbal and physical explosions will ultimately destroy relationships. The person on the receiving end loses respect for the person who is out of control and will eventually just avoid them.

Some years ago, it was a popular belief in certain psychological circles that releasing anger by aggressive behavior could be a positive way of processing anger. Angry people were encouraged to take their aggression out on pillows or golf balls. However, research now indicates that the venting of angry feelings with such aggressive behaviors does not drain a person’s anger but makes the person more likely to be explosive in the future. Explosion, whether verbal or physical, is not an acceptable way of handling one’s anger.

Take time to pray and ask God to make known to you the people who have been hurt by your anger so that you may make amends. Ask Him to give you the wisdom and self-control to express your anger in a way that honors Him.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

How would you respond to someone who argued that some people are born with fiery tempers and that there’s nothing wrong with it?

What’s the worst thing your anger has ever caused you to do?

What can your spouse do to help you keep your anger in check? How can you help your spouse?

Consider these passages for further study on anger:

Psalm 37:8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
    do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is patient has great understanding,
but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.

Matthew 5:21-24

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,^[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ ²² But I tell you that anyone angry with a brother or sister^[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’^[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

²³ “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

2 Chronicles 26:16-19

But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the Lord his God and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense. ¹⁷ Azariah the priest with eighty other courageous priests of the Lord followed him in. ¹⁸ They confronted King Uzziah and said, “It is not right for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord. That is for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, who have been consecrated to burn incense. Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the Lord God.”

¹⁹ Uzziah, who had a censer in his hand ready to burn incense, became angry. While he was raging at the priests in their presence before the incense altar in the Lord’s temple, leprosy^[a] broke out on his forehead.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Anger is an emotion we all have and knowing ways to use it effectively can build relationships stronger. Knowing how to manage and learn from others can make you a stronger person. Pray for the extreme times when you need this strength to make sure you are making wise decisions when your emotions are high.

There is no quick solution to reaching marital unity in the area of finances, but each couple can and must find a way to do it. The process requires talking, listening, understanding, and seeking a new way – not my way or your way but our way. We must try to understand why we feel and think as we do, and we must be willing to change. If we dogmatically refuse to understand the viewpoint of our mate and reject change, finances can destroy the marriage.

Life’s meaning is found not in money but in intimate relationships. Marriage is meant to be the most intimate of all human relationships. We must not allow our conflicts over money to destroy our intimacy. Reaching an agreement on finances— especially tithing— must be a high priority.

Second Chronicles 24:10 demonstrates that the best giving is glad giving. If you and your spouse can become glad givers together, you will experience an intimacy unlike a person anything else you have experienced.

Take time to pray and thank God for the awesome responsibility. He has given you to manage His money. Ask Him to help you and your spouse keep a proper perspective on money, so that you may honor Him in all your decisions.

Discuss questions and reflect:

How do you feel about giving 10 percent of what you earn to the Lord? Be specific.

What does it mean to be a “steward” of God’s resources?

In what areas do you and your spouse disagree about money? What steps can you take to come to some agreement?

Consider these passages for further study on Stewardship:

Deuteronomy 15:9-11

Do not be mean spirited and refuse someone a loan because the year for cancelling debts is close at hand. If you refuse to make the loan and the needy person cries out to the Lord, you will be considered guilty of sin. Give generously to the poor, not grudgingly, for the Lord your God will bless you in everything you do. There will always be some in the land who are poor. That is why I am commanding you to share freely with the poor and with other Israelites in need.

Proverbs 24:3-4 A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge, its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.

I Timothy 6:17-18 Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others.

Always pray to do the right thing and have wisdom with our decisions about money and how it impacts others around us. Grateful for the thoughts of Gary Chapman.

As the two of you understand your failures and move to correct them, you can experience outstanding personal growth. Some of the things you’ve disliked about yourselves through the years can be changed. You’re not slaves to old patterns of behavior. You’ll be greatly encouraged to see yourselves becoming the loving, thoughtful people you want to be.

To make that change happen, you need to return to God in a fresh way. If you haven’t done so, you may want to invite Christ into your life. Jesus died to pay the penalty for your past sins. God wants to forgive. He won’t hold the past against you if you’ll accept Christ as your Savior. The Spirit of God will come to live with you and give you the power to make needed changes in your life. With His help, you can accomplish things you never dreamed possible. Your whole life can be turned around, and in turn, you can help others.

Take time to pray and…

Thank God for His patience in allowing you to change the things that need changing;

Ask Him to reveal areas that need changing that you are not aware of;

Ask Him to help you and your spouse bring about positive change in each other.

Reflect on these questions:

Why do some people become slaves to past behaviors?

When you think about areas of your life that need change, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Why?

What do you need from your loved one as you work on changing that area?

Consider these passages for further study on Transformation:

2 Chronicles 6:38-39 And if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their captivity where they were taken, and pray toward the land you gave their ancestors, toward the city you have chosen and toward the temple I have built for your Name; ³⁹ then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their pleas and uphold their cause. And forgive your people, who have sinned against you.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

2 Chronicles 23:16-17 Jehoiada then made a covenant that he, the people, and the king^[a] would be the Lord’s people. ¹⁷ All the people went to the temple of Baal and tore it down. They smashed the altars and idols and killed Mattan the priest of Baal in front of the altars.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Notice the power of forgiveness. The patience towards you and waiting for you to repent. God wants more people to repent. Pray for transformation in a positive direction.

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