A woman lodged this complaint against her husband: “We have the same old arguments about the same old things. We’ve been married for thirty years, and I’m sick of his apologies. I want him to change.” This woman wanted her husband to repent. The word repentance means “to turn around.” In the context of an apology, it means that one deeply regrets the pain his or her behavior has caused and chooses to change that behavior.
In 2 Chronicles 32:24-26, Hezekiah repented after his lack of gratitude angered the Lord. God had healed him from an illness, but Hezekiah was too proud to acknowledge it. However, when the Lord’s anger stirred, Hezekiah forgot his pride and rushed to make amends. He didn’t just apologize in Prayer; he humbled himself. He made sure his actions backed up his words.
When we hurt our spouses, we must acknowledge that what we have done is wrong and that just apologizing is not enough to make it right. We also need to make a plan to change our actions so we don’t hurt our loved ones in the same way again.
Take time to pray and acknowledge that you need to do more than say you are sorry when you do wrong. Admit that you need to turn away from your wrong patterns of relating to your loved one. Ask the Lord to help you change and give you the strength to repent.
Discuss and reflect on these questions:
What would you say to a woman who was fed up with having the same argument with her husband for thirty years?
Can you picture you and your loved one arguing about the same old things thirty years from now? Explain.
How can the spouse who's been wronged help the other come to repentance?
Consider these passages for further study on repentance:
2 Corinthians 7:8-11 Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— 9 yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point, you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
2 Timothy 2:24-26 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
Revelation 2:4-5 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.
2 Chronicles 32:24-27
In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. He prayed to the Lord, who answered him and gave him a miraculous sign. 25 But Hezekiah’s heart was proud and he did not respond to the kindness shown him; therefore the Lord’s wrath was on him and Judah and Jerusalem. 26 Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the Lord’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah.
27 Hezekiah had very great wealth and honor, and he made treasuries for his silver and gold and his precious stones, spices, shields, and all kinds of valuables.
God gave us the ability to have the reason to know right and wrong. When we learn and are aware that we did wrong, it's that strength to set things right. Repent can be very powerful and forgiveness to allow us to heal in many ways. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman to help us see more insights.