Most women have an emotional need for security. It is first a physical need - for safety from danger inside and outside the home. But a married woman's great security need is often for assurance that her husband is committed to her.
The husband who threatens his wife with divorce or makes offhanded comments such as "You'd be better off with someone else" or "I think I'll find someone else" is playing into a destructive pattern.
When Joshua was leading the Israelites to the Promised Land, he challenged them to totally commit to the Lord. They could no longer serve the God of Israel and still try to worship their old idols. They needed to make a choice. We face a similar question when we come to marriage. Will we put aside any thoughts or comments about divorce and be totally committed to our spouses?
The wise husband will make every effort to communicate to his wife that whatever happens, he is with her. If there are disagreements, he will take the time to listen, understand, and seek a resolution. If she suffers physical or emotional pain, he will remain by her side. Every wife should be able to say, "I know that my husband is with me, no matter what happens. He is committed to our marriage." Every husband needs the same commitment from his wife.
Take some time to pray individually or as a couple, asking God to help you live a life of complete commitment to each other.
Reflect on these questions:
Tell about a time you felt encouraged by your spouse's commitment to you.
What else might your spouse do that would help you feel his or her commitment to you?
What are things your spouse says or does that make you feel insecure?
Read these passages for further study on committed love:
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
I Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
I John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Joshua 24:14-15 “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
This devotion stands out from Gary Chapman as one focusing on the love language of affirmations. We need to affirm our love for each other and what better way to show it than by simply making sure you are saying positive and affirming statements to each other? I am blessed that my partner is always finding some way to make me smile every day and really goes out of his way to make sure he says something loving to me, and whenever he can find a chance with those around us. Friends and strangers alike!
I believe we always need to be working on finding more creative ways to say affirmations to let them know that you truly do care and love them. Be sure to share this with a loved one.