God's words in Exodus 34:1-9 refer to the continuous cycle of obedience-blessings-disobedience-consequences that marked the Israelites' relationship with Him. However, despite His people's sinful history, the Lord never gave up on them.

The Lord said to Moses, “Chisel out two stone tablets like the first ones, and I will write on them the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke. ² Be ready in the morning and then come up on Mount Sinai. Present yourself to me there on top of the mountain. ³ No one is to come with you or be seen anywhere on the mountain; not even the flocks and herds may graze in front of the mountain.”

⁴ So Moses chiseled out two stone tablets like the first ones and went up Mount Sinai early in the morning, as the Lord had commanded him; and he carried the two stone tablets in his hands. ⁵ Then the Lord came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the Lord. ^6. He passed in front of Moses, declaring, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, ⁷ maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the parents' sin to the third and fourth generation.”

⁸ Moses bowed to the ground at once and worshiped. ⁹ “Lord,” he said, “if I have found favor in your eyes, then let the Lord go with us. Although this is a stiff-necked people, forgive our wickedness and our sin, and take us as your inheritance.”

God's long-suffering forgiveness of His people serves as an example to anyone who's harboring resentment toward his or her loved ones, especially if those loved ones are parents. Estrangement from our parents can have a devasting effect on our lives and seriously hinder our efforts to be godly parents ourselves. Unresolved issues must be addressed.

The long road to recovery begins with confrontation and forgiveness. Once we have forgiven parents for past failures, we are free to begin to develop trust and restore friendships. But what if parents, when confronted, deny that they did anything wrong? Or what if parents are already deceased? In both cases the approach is the same: you release them to God who judges rightly, and you release to God (who knows and understands) your anger and bitterness.

We cannot erase all the scars from past hurts, but we can experience freedom from the bondage of bitterness. Freedom comes from forgiving our parents. Forgiveness is the higher road; it opens the way to reconciliation and closeness, and it releases us from bitterness.

Take time to pray to the Lord for any unresolved issues you have with your parents. Ask the Lord for the strength to confront those issues; forgive past wrongs, and lay the groundwork for reconciliation.

Reflect on these questions:

How have unresolved issues from the past affected your relationships? How have they affected your relationship with your children?

How can you apply God's model of long-suffering forgiveness to your relationship with your parents or other family members?

What specific steps can you take to facilitate a healthy relationship between your loved ones and their parents?

Consider these passages for further study on Forgiveness:

Psalm 103:8-12 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
⁹ He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;
¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us?

Matthew 5:22-24

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister^[a][b] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’^[c] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

²³ “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.