Love is not always meek and mild. Sometimes love is firm and tough, but it is no less love. For a vivid illustration, consider Jesus' response to the money changers in the temple. They had converted from prayer to profit, and Jesus did not sit idly by. When certain men turned religion into racketeering, He insisted that they leave the premises. His words were strong: "The Scriptures declare, 'My Temple will be called a house of prayer for all nations,' but you have turned it into a den of thieves' (Mark 11:17). Incensed, the great Teacher drove out the merchants and shoppers and knocked over their tables and chairs. Harsh actions? Yes. Loving? Yes! Jesus loved too much to do nothing in the face of corruption. He took decisive action, and that meant that the offenders had to leave the temple. Did they later repent, return, and become people of prayer? The Scriptures do not say. Certainly Jesus would have desired that outcome. How they responded was their choice, but His action revealed His love for them as well as His love for His Father.
Some things are not permissible in a marriage. When physical abuse, sexual unfaithfulness, sexual abuse of children, alcoholism, or drug addiction persist in close relationships, it is time to take loving action. In fact, accepting such behavior as a way of life is not loving. Love is always concerned about the well-being of the other person. It is not loving to accept sinful behavior and do nothing. Such behavior destroys the individual and the bond. Love must confront. That's tough love - and that's real love.
Take some time to pray asking God...
- To broaden and deepen your view of what real love is;
- To give you the courage to confront each other when needed, showing true, tough love.
Discuss and reflect:
- Why is it actually unloving to accept a loved one's self-destructive behaviors and do nothing?
- How can love be both humble and gentle, tough and active?
- If something unacceptable is happening, what would tough love do?
Consider these passages for further study on love:
Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Galatians 6:1 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.
I Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Mark 11:15-25
On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple courts and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, 16 and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. 17 And as he taught them, he said, “Is it not written: ‘My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations’[a]? But you have made it ‘a den of robbers.’[b]”
18 The chief priests and the teachers of the law heard this and began looking for a way to kill him, for they feared him, because the whole crowd was amazed at his teaching.
19 When evening came, Jesus and his disciples[c] went out of the city.
20 In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. 21 Peter remembered and said to Jesus, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!”
22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[d] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Be strong when sharing how you feel about certain behaviors that hurt you. You grow to learn more about yourself and find ways to make each other better in the process. Great devotional thoughts inspired by Gary Chapman.