A successful relationship, whether it’s friendship - like the one between Jonathan and David - or marriage, requires that we become interested in the well-being of another person. It is taking our natural desire to meet our own needs, turning it outward toward someone else, and using the same amount to meet his or her needs.

Think back to when you and your spouse were “in love.” Weren’t you willing to do anything for your lover’s benefit- climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest ocean, stop smoking, learn to dance? Whatever desire he or she expressed, you were willing to attempt. Why were you so open to change? Your emotional need for love was being met fully. Love stimulates love.

In time, however, the emotional obsession you had for each other faded, and your egocentric natures took over. The two of you began focusing on getting your own needs met. Ironically, the result was that neither of you were satisfied.

In order for this to change, we must return to love - the conscious choice to look out for the best interests of the other person. Love requires a fundamental change of perspective. It goes against our natural bent toward selfishness, but it is the most powerful weapon for good in the world.

Take time to pray and ask God:

To make you sensitive to the needs of others, especially your loved ones.

To give you a deep sense of gratitude for your loved ones.

To give you His supernatural love to pass on to your spouse.

Take time to reflect on these questions:

If you’re naturally interested in the well-being of others, how can you make yourself interested?

When did your feelings toward your spouse start to change?

How would you describe your relationship with your spouse right now?

Consider these passages for further study on Love:

John 15:13-14 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.

I Corinthians 13:1-8

“I may speak in different languages of people or even angels. But if I do not have love, I am only a noisy bell or a crashing cymbal. I may have the gift of prophecy. I may understand all the secret things of God and have all knowledge, and I may have faith so great I can move mountains. But even with all these things, if I do not have love, then I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and I may even give my body as an offering to be burned. But I gain nothing if I do not have love. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures. Love never ends. There are gifts of prophecy, but they will be ended. There are gifts of speaking in different languages, but those gifts will stop. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will come to an end.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭1‬-‭8‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/1co.13.1-8.NCV

Philippians 2:3-10

“When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others. In your lives you must think and act like Christ Jesus. Christ himself was like God in everything. But he did not think that being equal with God was something to be used for his own benefit. But he gave up his place with God and made himself nothing. He was born as a man and became like a servant. And when he was living as a man, he humbled himself and was fully obedient to God, even when that caused his death—death on a cross. So God raised him to the highest place. God made his name greater than every other name so that every knee will bow to the name of Jesus— everyone in heaven, on earth, and under the earth.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2‬:‭3‬-‭10‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/php.2.3-10.NCV

The best relationship to learn from is Jesus relationship to the Lord and us. John 15:14 He has our best interest at heart. Don’t wait to transform, repent and live a new life with stronger relationships. Good thoughts of Gary Chapman.