What is the biblical pattern for decision making? The conversation between Jesus and His Father that occurred in Gethsemane just prior to His crucifixion shows the ideal. Jesus humbly prayed, "My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine: (Matthew 26:39) The pattern shows a discussion of ideas and feelings - expressed in honesty and love - with the Trinity does perfectly, in every decision. A imperfect beings, we will not always attain the ideal but that must always be our goal.
What about those times when you and your loved one have each fully stated your ideas, yet you cannot agree on a course of action? If the decision can wait (and most can), then wait. While waiting, pray and seek new information that may shed light on the decision. A week later, discuss it again. Most things can wait, and unity is more important than haste. One might argue, "But if I don't buy it today, the sale will be over!" A "bargain" at the expense of unity with your mate is costly indeed.
The only time that a loved one should make a decision without mutual agreement is on those rare occasions when the decision must be made "today." There are few such decision sin life. The loved one then has the responsibility to make the decision that he feels is best, but he must also bear full responsibility for that decision. In such decisions, the loved one should not feel responsible for the other loved one's choice; neither should they work for its failure.
Each of you should look out for the interests of the other. With this mind-set, neither will purposefully make harmful decisions. Rather, you will each seek to make decisions that will enhance the other's life as well as your relationship.
Pray asking God to grow you in unity so that you can make wise decisions together; to help you respect and honor each other and their interests.
Discuss and reflect:
What are types of important decisions that you need to work on together?
What decisions are minor enough that you can simply defer to your loved one?
What big decisions are you facing now or might face this coming year?
How do you think you can grow or improve in your decision-making process?
Consider these passages for further study on decisions:
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
Proverbs 18:2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding
but delight in airing their own opinions.
I Peter 3:1-8
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Suffering for Doing Good
8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
Matthew 26:36-46
36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
Communication is key and this helps look at the perspective of each other's interests when making decisions.
This devotional is inspired by Gary Chapman.
I agree that being in union with God and His word will bring all else into proper alignment and perspective.