Finding mutual satisfaction in relationships takes time. There’s a reason God instructed the young men and women of Israel to take a year for their honeymoon: “A newly married man must not be drafted into army or be given any other official responsibilities. He must be free to spend one year at home, bringing happiness to the wife he has married.” Deuteronomy 24:5.
The reality is that not many couples find mutual sexual fulfillment in less than a year. Just as they must grow together intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually, they must also grow together sexually. It is a process that takes time.
Why does it take so much time to grow together sexually? Because males and females are different in just about every way you could imagine - physically, emotionally, and psychologically. There are key differences between men and women in the nature of the sex drive, in the ignition points that make them ready for sex and even in their responses during intercourse. A husband and wife must discover and accept these differences before they can begin to find mutual satisfaction.
But with God’s guidance, the effort is well worth it.
Take time to pray and talk to the Lord:
Thank Him for His gift of sex;
Ask Him to forgive you for times when you’ve misused His gift or taken it for granted;
Ask Him to bless your efforts to create an intimacy with your spouse that honors Him.
Take time to reflect:
What do want your spouse to know about your sexual needs?
In what ways do you encourage intimacy in your relationship?
In what ways do you (consciously or unconsciously) discourage intimacy?
Read these passages for further study on sex:
Song of Songs 5:1-7
“I have entered my garden, my sister, my bride. I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey. I have drunk my wine and my milk. Eat, friends, and drink; yes, drink deeply, lovers. I sleep, but my heart is awake. I hear my lover knocking. “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my perfect one. My head is wet with dew, and my hair with the dampness of the night.” I have taken off my garment and don’t want to put it on again. I have washed my feet and don’t want to get them dirty again. My lover put his hand through the opening, and I felt excited inside. I got up to open the door for my lover. Myrrh was dripping from my hands and flowing from my fingers, onto the handles of the lock. I opened the door for my lover, but my lover had left and was gone. When he spoke, he took my breath away. I looked for him, but I could not find him; I called for him, but he did not answer. The watchmen found me as they patrolled the city. They hit me and hurt me; the guards on the wall took away my veil.”
Song of Songs 5:1-7 NCV
https://bible.com/bible/105/sng.5.1-7.NCV
I Corinthians 7:3-5
“The husband should give his wife all that he owes her as his wife. And the wife should give her husband all that she owes him as her husband. The wife does not have full rights over her own body; her husband shares them. And the husband does not have full rights over his own body; his wife shares them. Do not refuse to give your bodies to each other, unless you both agree to stay away from sexual relations for a time so you can give your time to prayer. Then come together again so Satan cannot tempt you because of a lack of self-control.”
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 NCV
https://bible.com/bible/105/1co.7.3-5.NCV
Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins.”
Hebrews 13:4 NCV
https://bible.com/bible/105/heb.13.4.NCV
Deuteronomy 24:5
“A man who has just married must not be sent to war or be given any other duty. He should be free to stay home for a year to make his new wife happy.”
Deuteronomy 24:5 NCV
https://bible.com/bible/105/deu.24.5.NCV
Great thoughts to work on as Gary Chapman shares. Know what lasts a lifetime and not just for a moment. That is why love is patient.