What would our marriages look like if we truly abided by John’s counsel: “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions” (1 John 3:18)?
How do we back up what we say with what we do? Love is patient. Therefore, if you want to express love in your actions, then you must exhibit patient behavior- not pacing the floor while your wife gets ready to go. You have the choice to be patient; why not love?
Love is kind. Acts of kindness are one of love’s strongest voices. The gift of tulips on a dull day communicates “I love you” to all but the wife who is allergic to flowers. That text message in the midst of the workday to say “You are the greatest husband in the world” may well make it so. A surprise dinner out communicates “you are special” to a wife who regularly prepares meals for her family. A love letter communicates things that you do not say in everyday conversation. The simple kindness of one love letter a month will keep a marriage alive and growing. Why not set some new goals for yourself in the area of kindness?
Think of fresh ways to show your love to your mate through your actions, and verbally affirm, “I love you!” Do not be like the man who claimed, “I told my wife I loved her when I asked her to marry me. If I ever change my mind, I’ll let her know.” Love is not a once-and-for-all act; it is a way of life.
Take time asking God…
- To help you show your love to each other through concrete actions;
- To give you the creativity and will to find new, fresh ways to express your love.
Reflect on these questions:
The book of 1 John is filled with contrasts: light vs. darkness, life vs. death, love vs. hate. How do those themes surface in this passage?
According to 1 John 3:19, how do actively loving others benefit your relationship with God?
Spend a few minutes alone brainstorming new, simple kindnesses that you can show your spouse.
Consider these passages for further study on Love:
Zechariah 7:9-10; This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. 10 Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other.’
Colossians 3:12-14 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Hebrews 6:10-11 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. 11 We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end so that what you hope for may be fully realized.
1 John 3:11-24
For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters,[a] if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
19 This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: 20 If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21 Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22 and receive from him anything we ask because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24 The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.
When we learn to love someone so much, we learn what truly makes them happy. Finding and discovering ways that are creative will help grow your love and patience. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. What is a creative way you share your love?