Keeping Intimacy Alive
Are you making time for intimacy?

The words of Psalm 89:2 praise God for His love and faithfulness in keeping His covenant with us. They also serve as an ideal that married couples can aspire to. The love and faithfulness described in this verse is instrumental for "living happily ever after." Without it, spouses tend to go their separate ways - and that affects everyone in the family, especially the youngest ones.

When spouses neglect their own love relationship, either intentionally or unintentionally, they do so to the detriment of their children. Research clearly shows that the effect of divorce on a child is devastating. Divorces normally do not occur on the spur of the moment. They are preceded by months and sometimes years of neglecting the marital relationship. Therefore, for the conscientious parent, there is nothing more important than rekindling or keeping alive an intimate relationship with his or her spouse. The antidote to divorce is to stop the process of drifting apart. Choose to paddle your canoes toward each other rather than away from each other. Commit yourselves to your relationship and your family. Make your marriage a priority. You will please yourselves, your children, and God.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. As you pray, Thank God for the relationship with your spouse that He has blessed you with. Ask God to help you identify the times you have failed to paddle toward each other. Ask Him to help you and your spouse learn to move toward each other in all circumstances.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Describe the effects of divorce on a child, whether from your own experience or from stories you've heard from friends or loved ones.

What would your spouse say about the priority you place on your marriage?

How might you and your spouse "paddle your canoes toward each other"?

Consider these passages for further study on Intimacy:

Psalm 63:1-11

You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
    they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword
    and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
    all who swear by God will glory in him,
    while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

I Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

James 4:8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Psalm 89:1-2 I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever;
    with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known
    through all generations.
I will declare that your love stands firm forever,
    that you have established your faithfulness in heaven itself.

Great thoughts from Gary Chapman. Knowing each other's love language helps to keep it top of mind when keeping your loved ones happy in your circle. Seeing other's points of view and the consequences of each decision enables you to slow down and ensure you are making the right decision. Make time for the important things, and it will show.

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