What is the biblical pattern for decision making? Let us allow the conversation between Jesus and the Father in Gethsemane to be our example. Jesus asked the Father if the cup could be taken from him - but concluded, "Yet I want your will to be done, not mine" (Matthew 26:39). The Bible seems to point to an honest, loving discussion of ideas and feelings, but with the husband as the recognized leader.

What about those times when we have each stated fully our ideas and yet we cannot agree on a course of action? I suggest that if the decision can wait (and most of them can), then wait. Unity is more important than haste.

On those occasions when a decision must be made "today" and there is still no agreement between partners, I believe the husband has the responsibility to make the decision he feels is best - and he must also bear responsibility for that decision.

At this point, the wife may feel the challenge of submission, but she should also feel the security of a responsible husband, one who will make decisions when he must. If time reveals, however, that the decision was a poor one, the wife should never yeild to the temptation to say, "I told you so." When a man is down, he does not need someone to step on him. What he needs is a gentle arm and soft assurance that she is with him and that things will work out.

Just as God the Father is always looking out for the interest of God the Son, so the husband is to be looking out for the interest of his wife. The husband who has this mind-set will never purposely make decisions that will be harmful. Rather, he will ask how this decision will affect her and will seek to make choices that will enhance her life as well as their relationship.

Always seek the best for others and allow them to be their own selves can be a challenge yet the way the Lord guided Christ with his love. Find what each other need. Ideas from the devotional from Gary Chapman.