Negative thinking tends to beget negative thinking. If you focus on how terrible a situation is, it will get worse. But if you focus on one positive thing in that situation, another will get worse. But if you focus on one positive thing in that situation, another will appear. In the darkest night of a desperate marriage, there is always a flickering light. If you focus on that light, it will eventually flood that room.
This challenge of maintaining a positive mental attitude is not a contemporary idea. The apostle Paul wrote, "Don't worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. ... Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." (Philippians 4:6-8).
You are responsible for your own attitude. That's important to understand because your attitude affects your actions. If you have a pessimistic, defeatist, negative attitude, you will express it in negative words and behavior. At that point, you become a part of the solution.
If, on the other hand, you will follow Paul's advice, you will effect big changes in your life and in your marriage.
Take time to pray. Ask God to:
Make you aware of the attitude that you are projecting.
Help you correct the attitude in yourself that needs correcting.
Help you be a positive influence on your loved ones.
Discuss together or reflect on these questions:
How have negative attitudes affected your family?
How can you keep yourself from dwelling on negative thoughts?
How can you help your spouse keep from dwelling on negative thoughts?
Consider these passages for further study on Attitude.
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Matthew 12:33-37 “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 35 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words, you will be condemned.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Share how you keep your thoughts positive. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. For me, I love sharing positive prayers.