The functional building block in any relationship is conversation - two-way communication. I share my ideas, and you listen; you share your ideas, and I listen. The results? We understand each other. If we continue conversation over a period of time, we get to know each other. If we continue conversation over a period of time, we get to know each other. Why, then, is communication so difficult? Why do 86 percent of those who divorce claim, "The main problem was that we got to a place where we just couldn't talk"?
One problem is that we stop talking to God long before we stop talking to each other. If we're talking with God daily, then He will be influencing our thoughts and attitudes toward our spouses. God wants to make us more and more like Jesus (see Romans 8:29). When we cooperate with the process, our communication with our spouses flows more smoothly. When we get our wires crossed with God, then our attitudes toward our spouses begin to deteriorate.
In Mark 12, Jesus said the most important commandments were
- Loving God whole-heartedly and
- Loving others as ourselves.
When we love God and are in tune with what He wants, loving others will come more naturally. Many of the communication problems in marriages would fade away if we spent more time talking and listening to God.
Spend some time with God and ask
- To help you remember that the best thing you can do - both for your relationship with Him and for your relationships is to spend time communicating with Him;
- To conform you more to the image of Christ as you spend time in His Word and prayer;
- To use your communication with Him to shape the way you treat your spouse.
Discuss or reflect on these questions:
How have you seen this link between your prayer life and your communication in your relationships?
How can marriages grow distant and spouses get to a place where they just can't talk?
What can you do to improve your communication with each other?
Consider these passages for further study on Communication:
Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer."
Matthew 12:37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary [a]edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Another devotion of Gary Chapman. Have you had a conversation with the Lord today?