David, the “man after God’s own heart,” lived in intimate communion with his Lord, pouring out his praises, his anger, his fears. In this psalm, he wrestles with the feeling of being under God’s conviction for sin: “When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat” (Psalm 32:3-4).

Only through the healing act of confession could David be restored to a right relationship with God and live as the man God had called him to be.

The feeling of being wronged by a spouse can cloud the marriage relationship. But when we, motivated by love, confront our spouse, receive their apology, and forgive, we free them from their burden, as the Lord freed David, and we can go on to rebuild trust and health in the relationship.

Of course, it is tempting when we’ve been wronged to feel like the “good person “ in the marriage. But we too must confess our own sin and admit our own inadequacy. That will help us become more loving, free to forgive- as God has forgiven us.

Take time to pray, individually or as a couple. Acknowledge to the Lord that it’s easy to forget that He conflicts His people of sin because He loves us. Thank Himself for wanting you to be more like Him - and ask for His assistance as the two of you try it.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

What kind of offense is hardest for you to forgive? Why?

Why is it so difficult to give up moral superiority after you’ve been wronged?

What’s the most loving thing you can do after your spouse has wronged you?

Consider these passages for further study on Repentance and Forgiveness:

Psalm 51:1-19

“God, be merciful to me because you are loving. Because you are always ready to be merciful, wipe out all my wrongs. Wash away all my guilt and make me clean again. I know about my wrongs, and I can’t forget my sin. You are the only one I have sinned against; I have done what you say is wrong. You are right when you speak and fair when you judge. I was brought into this world in sin. In sin my mother gave birth to me. You want me to be completely truthful, so teach me wisdom. Take away my sin, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Make me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you crushed be happy again. Turn your face from my sins and wipe out all my guilt. Create in me a pure heart, God, and make my spirit right again. Do not send me away from you or take your Holy Spirit away from me. Give me back the joy of your salvation. Keep me strong by giving me a willing spirit. Then I will teach your ways to those who do wrong, and sinners will turn back to you. God, save me from the guilt of murder, God of my salvation, and I will sing about your goodness. Lord, let me speak so I may praise you. You are not pleased by sacrifices, or I would give them. You don’t want burnt offerings. The sacrifice God wants is a broken spirit. God, you will not reject a heart that is broken and sorry for sin. Do whatever good you wish for Jerusalem. Rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Then you will be pleased with right sacrifices and whole burnt offerings, and bulls will be offered on your altar.‬‬

Romans 2:4

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

1 John 1:9

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness.

We are not perfect and recognizing when we realize we have done wrong. The Lord is merciful and gives us grace and wisdom to forgive. Making opportunities to set things right. Being patient to live in faith. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.