Taking advice requires humility and shows wisdom. Rehoboam lacked both - and it cost him the bulk of his kingdom. Faced with his first decision as king, he solicited advice from the older men and from his young friends. The elders' advice was wise, though hard. In contrast, his young friends told him exactly what he wanted to hear. Rehoboam rejected the good advice and embraced the bad.
We face the same dilemma in our own little kingdoms. Do we listen to the advice of older Christians, our parents, our in-laws, our mentors? Or do we stubbornly plow ahead on our own? If, for example, your father-in-law gave you an excellent suggestion that would save you time and make your life easier, would you accept it? Or would you reject it simply because it came from your father-in-law? If you follow Moses' lead, you will accept it (Exodus 18:13-27). Let's face it: with increased age, older Christians may have increased wisdom.
Why not take advantage of their wisdom? That does not mean that you must always do what they advise, but why not give them a good hearing and then consider the merits of their ideas? If it seems wise to you and your spouse, then go with it, remembering that it is your decision.
Take time to pray and ask God... to grow you in humility and wisdom so that you are open to good advice;
Ask God to show you older people in your life whose counsel could guide you, and to help you appreciate them.
Take time to reflect:
Who are the older Christians in your life whose advice you can solicit?
How open are you to others' perspectives? When an older person offers advice, do you find yourself listening open-mindedly or chafing inwardly? Why do you think you tend to respond that way?
In the decisions you are currently facing who might have a fresh perspective for you to consider?
Consider these passages for further study on Wise Counsel:
Proverbs 13:10 Where there is strife, there is pride,
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
Proverbs 20:1 Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler;
whoever is led astray by them is not wise.
Colossians 3:16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
I Kings 12:1-24
Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all Israel had gone there to make him king. 2 When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard this (he was still in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from[a] Egypt. 3 So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: 4 “Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.”
5 Rehoboam answered, “Go away for three days and then come back to me.” So the people went away.
6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked.
7 They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.”
8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?”
10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, “These people have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter.’ Now tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’”
12 Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to Rehoboam, as the king had said, “Come back to me in three days.” 13 The king answered the people harshly. Rejecting the advice given him by the elders, 14 he followed the advice of the young men and said, “My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.” 15 So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from the Lord, to fulfill the word the Lord had spoken to Jeroboam son of Nebat through Ahijah the Shilonite.
16 When all Israel saw that the king refused to listen to them, they answered the king:
“What share do we have in David,
what part in Jesse’s son?
To your tents, Israel!
Look after your own house, David!”
So the Israelites went home. 17 But as for the Israelites who were living in the towns of Judah, Rehoboam still ruled over them.
18 King Rehoboam sent out Adoniram,[b] who was in charge of forced labor, but all Israel stoned him to death. King Rehoboam, however, managed to get into his chariot and escape to Jerusalem. 19 So Israel has been in rebellion against the house of David to this day.
20 When all the Israelites heard that Jeroboam had returned, they sent and called him to the assembly and made him king over all Israel. Only the tribe of Judah remained loyal to the house of David.
21 When Rehoboam arrived in Jerusalem, he mustered all Judah and the tribe of Benjamin—a hundred and eighty thousand able young men—to go to war against Israel and to regain the kingdom for Rehoboam son of Solomon.
22 But this word of God came to Shemaiah the man of God: 23 “Say to Rehoboam the son of Solomon king of Judah, to all Judah and Benjamin, and to the rest of the people, 24 ‘This is what the Lord says: Do not go up to fight against your brothers, the Israelites. Go home, every one of you, for this is my doing.’” So they obeyed the word of the Lord and went home again, as the Lord had ordered.
Listening is a challenge when taking advice. Don't just be lazy and rely on others when taking advice. Listen to yourself and make your own wise decisions. It helps you learn to be more of yourself and take others as a whole. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.