Honor your father and mother is a more complicated command than it seems. After all, true honor comes as the result of being honorable. When God gave the Ten Commandments to Moses, He played the responsibility of honor upon the children. It is the first of the Ten Commandments with a promise. The children are challenged to honor their parents unconditionally, but close observation reveals that parents are expected to live by the other nine commandments. If they do, they are indeed worthy of such honor. The challenge to contemporary parents is that we will so live our lives that we will be worthy of our children's honor and thus our children will find it easy to honor us.

That's not always easy, is it? Between traffic jams, job pressures, arguments with neighbors, and assorted unhealthy personal habits, honorability is a hard standard to maintain. The keys are diligence, wisdom, and a sense of purpose. If we're serious about being honorable parents, we'll keep that goal foremost in our minds. When we react to daily circumstances, then it will be with an eye on maintaining honorability. We'll learn to ask ourselves, "What would be the honorable thing to do in this situation?"

Take time to pray and thank God for the opportunity to be a positive influence in the lives of your children. Ask Him to give you the wisdom and discipline to make honorable choices in your life.

Take time to discuss together and reflect on these questions:

1. How can you tell what kind of impact you're having on your children's lives?
2. In your opinion, what are your three biggest challenges in trying to live honorably? Do you think your spouse would agree with that list?
3. What specific steps can you take to help each other be more honorable parents?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Proverbs 22:4-6

Humility is the fear of the Lord;
    its wages are riches and honor and life.

⁵ In the paths of the wicked are snares and pitfalls,
    but those who would preserve their life stay far from them.

⁶ Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Proverbs 31:25-31  

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Colossians 3:20-21

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

²¹ Fathers,^[a] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Whenever you put others first, it forces you to make sure you are living your life in the right way. Think about how others look at you in your actions, etc., and know exactly what you want them to think or say. When you put the Lord first in what he says is honorable, it forces you to find ways to be honorable.