Read Romans 5:5

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.

Pain is inevitable in almost any relationship. But when pain is caused (seemingly intentionally) by a spouse, the results can be devastating. People sometimes say, "My spouse has hurt me so deeply, I don't know that I can ever love them again." That's an understandable reaction. When the hurt is deep and the anger fresh, it seems that we cannot love. However, we must remember that God loved us "while we were still sinners" and sent Christ to die for us (Romans 5:8).

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

You may be tempted to say, "That's God, not me. I can't do that." But if you're a Christian, you can and you must. Look closely at Romans 5:5. God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit. We have received the love of God and now we dispense His love to others. When your tanks are empty when you have no love of your own to show, you can draw from the Holy Spirit's reserves. With His help, eventually, your own reserves will start to replenish and you'll find a way to love your spouse again.

In the meantime, you can show God's love to your spouse by the way you talk and by your actions, regardless of your emotions. When you love, you reflect the character of God.

Take time to pray to thank God for giving you His Holy Spirit as a source of love to draw on. If you've been hurt by your spouse, ask the Lord to give you the proper perspective in dealing with it.

Reflect on these questions, and discuss them with your loved one.

What's your very first reaction when someone hurts you deeply?

How do you restore feelings of love for your loved one after they hurt you?

What advice would you give to a newlywed couple who's just had their first major fight?

Consider these passages for further study on overcoming pain:

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Revelation 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[a] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Great devotional thoughts of Gary Chapman to share. It takes a decision or time to heal wounds. Always put the love first and forgive yourself first to take a new look and perspective.