How do you get rid of past failures? King Solomon’s prayer in 2 Chronicles 6:37 gives us some clues. Solomon was urging his people to make themselves right with the Lord. But the principles apply to marriage as well. The first step is to identify your failures. Write them down, if necessary. Make sure you know exactly what you have done. The second step is to confess your failures as wrong – to God and your loved one. Humbly ask for their forgiveness. The third step is to repent – that is, to change your behavior.

To confess this week and then repeat the same behavior next week does not remove barriers. It makes things worse. God is in the business of changing lives. Why not sign up for God’s rehabilitation program? Let Him give you the power to break old habits and replace them with acts of kindness and love. You can become the person your loved one deserves.

Take time to thank God for forgiving your imperfections. Ask Him to make you aware of how your failures have hurt your spouse and others. Ask Him for the wisdom and courage to make amends – and then to make the necessary changes in your life.

Take time to reflect on these questions:

What is the failure of yours that has hurt your relationship?

How does your loved one express his or her disappointment in you?

What kind of reaction does that cause in you?

Consider these passages for further study on Failure:

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.

I Corinthians 10:12-13 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! ¹³ No temptation^[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted^[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,^[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

2 Chronicles 6:37 and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captivity and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong and acted wickedly’;

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman on how to be more effective with our failures. The first step is to be aware and then know what to do to fix it. This gives us more confidence to do the right thing to make our relationships stronger.