Worry weighs a person down: an encouraging word cheers a person up.

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” If we take Twain literally, six compliments a year would have kept his emotional love tank at the operational level. Your spouse will probably need more.

One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up. Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other. Solomon noted, “Worry weighs a person; an encouraging word cheers a person up”

(Proverbs 12:25)

Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation, such as:

“You look sharp in that suit.”

“Do you ever look hot in that dress! Wow!”

“I really like how you’re always on time to pick me up at work.”

“Thanks for getting the babysitter lined up tonight. I want you to know I don’t take that for granted.”

“I love how you are so responsible. I feel like I can count on you.”

What would happen to the emotional climate of your marriage if you heard such words of affirmation regularly? Look for ways to bring more words of affirmation into your marriage today.

Take time to pray and thank God for giving you the ability to make people feel better about themselves. Ask Him to help you become a person who fills other people’s emotional tanks with words of affirmation.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these things;

What’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you?

Why did it mean so much to you?

How can you tell when a compliment is sincere?

What specific steps can you take to make your home a place where words of affirmation flow freely?

Consider these passages for further study on affirmation:

1 Corinthians 1:4

I always thank my God for you and for the gracious gifts he has given you, now that you belong to Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:3

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.

Philippians 4:8

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. When we lift others up, remember how you can continually lift up the Lord.

Keeps us in check of our priorities.

He stated His purpose clearly when He said, “I am the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved… The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give the rich and satisfying life. I am the good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep” (John 10:9-11). He lived out this sacrificial love.

From beginning to end, the Bible pictures a loving God who declares His love by speaking words of truth, comfort, and redemption. Such words of affirmation are a love language that God speaks fluently.

Take time to pray to:

Thank God for His lavish expression of love to you through His words and actions;

Read John 10:9-11 aloud, and bask in His words of love to you;

As you absorb His unconditional love, pray that you will learn to extend that gratuitous love to others.

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.^[a] They will come in and go out, and find pasture. ¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

¹¹ “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

Discuss and reflect:

A love language for many people is words of affirmation. How do Jesus’ words affect you?

Throughout Scripture, God speaks words of truth, comfort, and redemption. Which are your very favorite verses?

Meditate on the words of Luke 23:34. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”^[a] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. What does this verse reveal to you?

Consider these passages for further study on God’s Love:

Exodus 34:6 And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness,

Romans 8:31-39

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[a]

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 3:17-19

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Luke 23:26-43

As the soldiers led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. ²⁷ A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. ²⁸ Jesus turned and said to them, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. ²⁹ For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the childless women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ ³⁰ Then

“‘they will say to the mountains, “Fall on us!”
    and to the hills, “Cover us!”’^[a]

³¹ For if people do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

³² Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. ³³ When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. ³⁴ Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”^[b] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

³⁵ The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”

³⁶ The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar ³⁷ and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

³⁸ There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the jews.

³⁹ One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

⁴⁰ But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? ⁴¹ We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

⁴² Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.^[c]”

⁴³ Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

It is blessed to learn how to love from Christ. When you see Christ’s love and his example, you learn how to share the love for others. Devotional thoughts of Gary Chapman.