The description of a godly woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 includes a wide range of decision-making situations that the wife was responsible for. The woman described in Proverbs 31 certainly could not have felt that her abilities were being underutilized.

Can women today, in our culture, make the same claim? The wise and mature couple will carefully consider the division of labor between them. A husband who is secure in his own self-esteem will not view his wife’s efforts as competition. A wife who recognizes her own God-given self-worth will not have to prove her value to anyone. A husband and wife who work as a team, each encouraging the other to reach his or her maximum potential for God, will both find the rewards satisfying.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank God for your spouse and for His gift of marriage. Ask Him to bless your efforts to build a relationship that utilizes both of your skills.

Take time to discuss and reflect:

How do you feel about the division of labor and responsibilities in your family?

Which of your skills are underutilized in your present arrangement? Which skills are overworked?

What do you need to do to reach your potential as a couple?

Consider these passages for further study on self-esteem:

Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Proverbs 31:10-31 Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Thoughts of Gary Chapman share ideas and opportunities that come up around us. It’s up to us to be strong in how we react and take action to put others close to us first and make the best decisions. See how your actions influence others and lean on the Lord to guide you.