Anger itself is not a sin, but harboring anger is sinful. Another Bible translation casts Solomon’s warning this way: “anger resides in the lap of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9). Notice the key word, “resides.” Fools let anger abide in them, “so consuming them that it obviously labels them as fools. This implies that those who are wise quickly manage their anger, thereby removing it. Anger was designed to be a visitor, never a resident, in the human heart. All of us experience anger, but holding anger inside, denying, withdrawing, and brooding is not the Christian response. In fact, harboring anger violates the clear teachings of Scripture. Bitterness grows from stored anger, and the Bible warns us against bitterness.

Feelings of anger should be a trigger, prompting us to look deeper and ask, Why do I really feel angry? Often, anger is a secondary emotion masking a primary emotion of sadness or fear. Only when we identify the root of anger can we address the cause directly. When we fixate only on the anger, we often lose our tempers.

Take time to pray, asking God…

To teach you to control your temper.

To give you the insight and discernment to know anger’s actual cause.

To uproot any bitterness in your soul.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

Read descriptions of bitterness in Acts 8:23 For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”

Romans 3:14 “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”^[a]

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Hebrews 12:15  See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

What is associated with bitterness?

How well do you control your temper? Think of some recent times you felt angry and how you responded.

What are healthy ways to deal with and express anger?

Consider these passages for further study on anger:

Psalm 37:8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
    do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is patient has great understanding,
    but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.

James 1:19-20 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Thankful for these guiding thoughts of Gary Chapman.

Recently losing my love, Vincent, I have felt all these emotions in a whirlwind. Understanding them more helps me realize where to focus and ways that the Lord can help me. Trusting the Lord will take care of me through these trials and finding comfort.