The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.

Taking to heart the words of Proverbs 15:1-2 could make a big difference in your relationship. Love is a choice and cannot be coerced- but it can be put off by ill-chosen words.

Criticism and demands tend to drive wedges. With enough criticism, you may get acquiescence from your spouse. He or she may do what you want, but it will probably not be an expression of love. You can give guidance to love by making requests: “I cannot create the will to love. Each of us must decide daily to love or not to love our spouses.

People tend to criticize most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. Their criticism is an ineffective way of pleading for love. If we understand way of pleading for love. If we understand that, it may help us process their criticism in a more productive manner. After we receive criticism from a loved one, it might be helpful to respond in this way: “It sounds like that’s extremely important to you. Could you explain why it’s so crucial?” Initially such a conversation may eventually turn the criticism into a request rather than a demand.

Take time to pray individually or together with others to talk to God about the way you and your loved one use criticism in your relationship. Ask Him to help you understand how to use the love language your responds to best.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Describe a time when a criticism or demand drove a wedge in your relationship.

What did you learn from that experience?

What will you do the next time your spouse confronts you about a criticism that stung him or her?

Consider these passages for further study on Criticism:

Zechariah 8:16 But this is what you must do: Tell the truth to each other. Render verdicts in your courts that are just and that lead to peace.

I John 3:18

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

Being strong in who and what we believe in. I always listen to see why they are critical to see if it’s a lesson to learn. In the matter of beliefs and values, pray to the Lord to keep your heart in the right direction.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Keep your relationship with the Lord a priority.

He stated His purpose clearly when He said, “I am the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved… The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give the rich and satisfying life. I am the good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep” (John 10:9-11). He lived out this sacrificial love.

From beginning to end, the Bible pictures a loving God who declares His love by speaking words of truth, comfort, and redemption. Such words of affirmation are a love language that God speaks fluently.

Take time to pray to:

Thank God for His lavish expression of love to you through His words and actions;

Read John 10:9-11 aloud, and bask in His words of love to you;

As you absorb His unconditional love, pray that you will learn to extend that gratuitous love to others.

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.^[a] They will come in and go out, and find pasture. ¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

¹¹ “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

Discuss and reflect:

A love language for many people is words of affirmation. How do Jesus’ words affect you?

Throughout Scripture, God speaks words of truth, comfort, and redemption. Which are your very favorite verses?

Meditate on the words of Luke 23:34. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”^[a] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. What does this verse reveal to you?

Consider these passages for further study on God’s Love:

Exodus 34:6 And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness,

Romans 8:31-39

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[a]

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 3:17-19

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Luke 23:26-43

As the soldiers led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. ²⁷ A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. ²⁸ Jesus turned and said to them, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. ²⁹ For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the childless women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ ³⁰ Then

“‘they will say to the mountains, “Fall on us!”
    and to the hills, “Cover us!”’^[a]

³¹ For if people do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

³² Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. ³³ When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. ³⁴ Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”^[b] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

³⁵ The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”

³⁶ The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar ³⁷ and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

³⁸ There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the jews.

³⁹ One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

⁴⁰ But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? ⁴¹ We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

⁴² Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.^[c]”

⁴³ Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

It is blessed to learn how to love from Christ. When you see Christ’s love and his example, you learn how to share the love for others. Devotional thoughts of Gary Chapman.