Tell your spouse: “What can I do to make this up to you? I know I hurt you and feel bad about it, but I want to make it right. I want to do something to show you that I love you.”

Words don’t mean much unless they’re backed up with action. Job was overrun with words from his friends, who tried to make sense of his terrible suffering. But many words from his friends, who wanted to make sense of his terrible suffering. But much of what they said was wrong. In Job 12:11, Job says he tested their words to determine what was true. We all do the same thing – test words to see if they are genuine and if they will likely be followed up with action.

To establish trust, you need to show that your words are genuine. When you ask your spouse how you can make the situation right, you are trying to make restitution. You are demonstrating that you care about your relationship. After all, your spouse wants to know whether your apology is sincere. Make sure your answer is clear.

Thank God for the opportunity to make restitution with your loved one. Ask the Lord to help you show your loved one that you’re sincere and want to do what’s right. Ask the Lord to equip you to seek the reconciliation your relationship needs.

Discuss together or reflect on these questions:

What should you say to your spouse when you realize reconciliation is needed?

How might your spouse test your words to see if they are sincere?

What specific steps can you take to prove your sincerity to your spouse?

Consider these passages for further study on reconciliation:

Matthew 18:15-17 ^15: “If your brother or sister^[a] sins,^[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’^[c] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

2 Corinthians 5:18 ¹⁸ All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

Ephesians 4:32 ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Trust is crucial in a relationship. Without it, it will always struggle. Find ways to keep building trust, and your relationships will grow stronger. Gary Chapman shares great thoughts and guidance here. It’s one of the things that I like to focus on.