For some people, that kind of guidance seems to come naturally. For others, though, it takes a lot of practice – and usually a lot of trial and error. Where do the two of you fit on the continuum? What kind of teachers are you where your children are concerned?

Here’s a more sobering question: What if your children turn out to be just like you? Would you be concerned? If so, what steps do you need to take? What do you need to change in your parenting? Why not begin that change today?

God is available to help. He has loaded His Word with principles to guild you. He’s also surrounded you with friends, family, and fellow believers to assist you.

Tak time to pray and identify areas of your life in which you’ve failed to reach your potential. Confess any wrong attitudes or actions that have caused you to fail. Ask the Lord to give you the wisdom and courage to change those areas so that you may be a role model to your children.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

Who do you look to as parenting role models – or simply as good parents?

How is your parenting style similar to theirs? How is it different?

How do the two of you complement each other as parents? In what areas are you both lacking?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Proverbs 1:8-9 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
⁹ They are a garland to grace your head
    and a chain to adorn your neck.

Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³ “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”^[a]

⁴ Fathers,^[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Psalm 124:1-8 If the Lord had not been on our side—
    let Israel say—
² if the Lord had not been on our side
    when people attacked us,
³ they would have swallowed us alive
    when their anger flared against us;
⁴ the flood would have engulfed us,
    the torrent would have swept over us,
⁵ the raging waters
    would have swept us away.

⁶ Praise be to the Lord,
    who has not let us be torn by their teeth.
⁷ We have escaped like a bird
    from the fowler’s snare;
the snare has been broken,
    and we have escaped.
⁸ Our help is in the name of the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

Great devotional to evaluate of Gary Chapman.

Looking for examples of other great families and what they do to create valuable relationships helps understand actions to apply. Share what has helped you.

Would you like to change? You can! Repeat this Scripture aloud every morning: “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). If you proclaim this truth to yourself, you will begin to see God’s hand. And your relationships will improve.

Take time to pray, and in your prayer…

Take the words of Psalm 118:24 to heart. Rejoice in the day the Lord has given you;

Tell Him what you appreciate about it and why;

Show Him your thankfulness in no uncertain terms.

When you make time to discuss or reflect on these questions:

How would you describe your own outlook on life? Would your spouse agree?

How would you describe your spouse’s outlook on life? Would he or she agree?

How does your attitude affect the people around you?

Consider these passages for further study on rejoicing:

Psalm 5:11-12 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
    let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

¹² Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous;
    you surround them with your favor as with a shield

Psalm 28:6-7 Praise be to the Lord,
    for he has heard my cry for mercy.
⁷ The Lord is my strength and my shield;
    my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
    and with my song I praise him.

Phillippians 4:4  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

It’s easier to control when you become more aware of your thoughts and language. Sometimes, others will make you aware. So, it’s great to catch it now and have a mindset of rejoicing in the Lord first. Rejoice and be grateful when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Great thoughts from Gary Chapman to help us know our priorities and focus first on the Lord.

Some parents have forgotten how to be confident in a fallen world. Parenting has changed just as our world has changed. As our children grow, we must adapt and tweak our parenting style. Finding the right balance is next to impossible. And any balance found is likely to be upset as our children move into yet another stage of development.

Most of us are well aware of the mistakes we’ve made as parents. Yet, we don’t have to be defined by those mistakes. We can use them as educational tools to help us make the necessary changes for the future. As our children mature, so should we.

Because we’re human, we’ll never be perfect parents. But we serve a perfect God with a deep interest in our children. His Word can inspire, comfort, and empower us to parent.

Take time to pray and thank God for blessing you with your children. Talk to Him about your parenting challenges and disappointments. Ask Him to bless your efforts to raise children who will bring Him honor and glory.

When you make time to discuss or reflect on these questions together:

How did you picture yourself as a parent before you had kids?

What has surprised you most about parenting?

What do you want your parenting legacy to be?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting.

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will vindicate me;
    your love, Lord, endures forever—
    do not abandon the works of your hands.

Isaiah 44:3-5 For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
    and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
    and my blessing on your descendants.
⁴ They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
    like poplar trees by flowing streams.
⁵ Some will say, ‘I belong to the Lord’;
    others will call themselves by the name of Jacob;
still others will write on their hand, ‘The Lord’s,’
    and will take the name Israel.

Jeremiah 31:17 So there is hope for your descendants,”
declares the Lord.
    “Your children will return to their own land.

Psalm 112:1-10 Praise the Lord.^[b]

Blessed are those who fear the Lord,
    who find great delight in his commands.

² Their children will be mighty in the land;
    the generation of the upright will be blessed.
³ Wealth and riches are in their houses,
    and their righteousness endures forever.
⁴ Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
    for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.
⁵ Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
    who conduct their affairs with justice.

⁶ Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
    they will be remembered forever.
⁷ They will have no fear of bad news;
    their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
⁸ Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
    in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
⁹ They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
    their righteousness endures forever;
    their horn^[c] will be lifted high in honor.

¹⁰ The wicked will see and be vexed,
    they will gnash their teeth and waste away;
    the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Finding the strengths helps focus on seeing more ways to thrive. It can also show where we lean on others with our weaknesses. It takes a village to bring up a child.

Once the experience of falling in love has run its natural course, couples return to the world of reality and begin to assert themselves.

Some couples believe that the end of the in-love experience means they must either resign themselves to a life of misery with their spouse or jump ship and try again. But there is a better alternative: we can recognize the in-love experience for what it was – a temporary emotional high – and pursue “real love” with our spouses.

That kind of love involves an act of the will and requires discipline. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. We need to be loved by someone who chooses to love us, who sees in us something worth loving.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Talk to God about the state of your marriage. Share your thoughts and concerns about the end of your in-love experience with Him. Ask Him to help you choose to love your spouse.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

What percentage of couples would avoid marriage if they knew how difficult it can be? Explain.

Where are you and your spouse on the “in love” timeline? How do you feel about that?

Give an example of how you choose to love your spouse.

Consider these passages for further study on Love:

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up conflict,
    but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Psalm 103:1-5 Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 Who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

This helps you analyze the good, the bad, and the ugly part of love in your relationship. Know what holds you together and will stand fast for the better. Evaluate what you always need to do to make it better.

When spouses neglect their own love relationship, either intentionally or unintentionally, they do so to the detriment of their children. Research clearly shows that the effect of divorce on a child is devastating. Divorces normally do not occur on the spur of the moment. They are preceded by months and sometimes years of neglecting the marital relationship. Therefore, for the conscientious parent, there is nothing more important than rekindling or keeping alive an intimate relationship with his or her spouse. The antidote to divorce is to stop the process of drifting apart. Choose to paddle your canoes toward each other rather than away from each other. Commit yourselves to your relationship and your family. Make your marriage a priority. You will please yourselves, your children, and God.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. As you pray, Thank God for the relationship with your spouse that He has blessed you with. Ask God to help you identify the times you have failed to paddle toward each other. Ask Him to help you and your spouse learn to move toward each other in all circumstances.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Describe the effects of divorce on a child, whether from your own experience or from stories you’ve heard from friends or loved ones.

What would your spouse say about the priority you place on your marriage?

How might you and your spouse “paddle your canoes toward each other”?

Consider these passages for further study on Intimacy:

Psalm 63:1-11

You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶ On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
    they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
    and become food for jackals.

¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
    all who swear by God will glory in him,
    while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

I Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

James 4:8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Psalm 89:1-2 I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever;
    with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known
    through all generations.
² I will declare that your love stands firm forever,
    that you have established your faithfulness in heaven itself.

Great thoughts from Gary Chapman. Knowing each other’s love language helps to keep it top of mind when keeping your loved ones happy in your circle. Seeing other’s points of view and the consequences of each decision enables you to slow down and ensure you are making the right decision. Make time for the important things, and it will show.

Psalm 77 is a personal expression of someone going through a major crisis. Note that there is first a description of the pain of being estranged from God and others. But out of that pain, the psalmist turns to God.

God is vitally concerned about you. Jesus’s words in Matthew 11:28 are directed to you: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

You are weary from much stress. You carry heavy burdens such as guilt, anger, hostility, and anxiety. Notice that Jesus doesn’t ask that you lay the burden aside and come to Him but rather that you just come. He has not asked you to handle your own problems, nor has He promised to take away the problems, but He has promised rest.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank Him for providing all your needs. Ask Him to protect your marriage from undue strain by reminding you to come to Him for the peace of mind no one else can offer.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

What do you need more than anything from God right now?

Have you ever looked to your spouse for things only God can give?

How can you work together to find your peace and rest in God?

Consider these passages for further study on Rest:

Psalms 29:11, The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.

Psalms 85:8 I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks to his faithful people. But let them not return to their foolish ways.

John 14:27 I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Psalm 77:1-20

I cry out to God; yes, I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me! When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord, All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted. I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help.

You don’t let me sleep. I am too distressed even to pray! I think of the good old days, long since ended, when my nights were filled with joyful songs. I search my soul and ponder the difference now.

Has the Lord rejected me forever? Will he never again be kind to me?

Is his unfailing love gone forever? Have his promises permanently failed?

Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he slammed the door on his compassion?

And I said, “This is my fate; the Most High has turned his hand against me.”

But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.

They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.

O God, your ways are holy. Is there any god as mighty as you?

You are the God of great wonders! You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations.

By your strong arm, you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

When the Red Sea saw you, O God, its waters looked and trembled! The sea quaked to its very depths.

The clouds poured down rain; the thunder rumbled in the sky. Your arrows of lightning flashed.

Your thunder roared from the whirlwind; the lightning lit up the world! The earth trembled and shook.

Your road led through the sea, your pathway no one knew was there!

You led your people along that road like a flock of sheep, with Moses and Aaron as their shepherds.

Gary Chapman‘s great thoughts show us that we have resources in the Lord for anything we need. Find your peace in the Lord.

The important thing to remember in dealing with anger- especially anger toward your spouse- is that you do not allow your negative emotions to lead you to wrongful behavior. Sharing your anger with your spouse is essential. Emotions come and go. When we talk about them, they tend to go. When we hold them inside, they tend to stay.

If you find it difficult to break the barrier of silence, try writing your thoughts and feelings in a letter to your spouse. Many times it is easier to write than it is to speak of such feelings. But as you become comfortable writing the letters and your spouse reads them with understanding and comfort and encouragement, you will eventually learn to verbalize your feelings and thoughts. Writing can be a big step in the process of learning how to communicate openly.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Ask God to help you…

Make amends for past incidents in which you expressed anger unhealthily.

Express your anger in a way that strengthens your relationship instead of damaging it.

Create a relationship in which you feel comfortable sharing any emotion.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

How has anger damaged your relationship in the past?

What changes would you like to see each other make in the way you express anger?

What specific strategies can you use to make sure your anger is dealt with properly?

Consider these passages for further study on anger:

Psalm 7:11 God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day.

Mark 3:1-6 Jesus went into the synagogue again and noticed a man with a deformed hand. Since it was the Sabbath, Jesus’ enemies watched him closely. If he healed the man’s hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the deformed hand, Come and stand in front of everyone.” Then he turned to his critics and asked, “Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?” But they wouldn’t answer him.

He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man, “Hold out your hand.” So the man held out his hand, and it was restored! At once the Pharisees went away and met with the supporters of Herod to plot how to kill Jesus.

John 2:13-17 It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem. In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”

Then his disciples remembered this prophecy from the Scriptures: “Passion for God’s house will consume me.”

Psalm 74:1-23

“God, why have you rejected us for so long? Why are you angry with us, the sheep of your pasture? Remember the people you bought long ago. You saved us, and we are your very own. After all, you live on Mount Zion. Make your way through these old ruins; the enemy wrecked everything in the Temple. Those who were against you shouted in your meeting place and raised their flags there. They came with axes raised as if to cut down a forest of trees. They smashed the carved panels with their axes and hatchets. They burned your Temple to the ground; they have made the place where you live unclean. They thought, “We will completely crush them!” They burned every place where God was worshiped in the land. We do not see any signs. There are no more prophets, and no one knows how long this will last. God, how much longer will the enemy make fun of you? Will they insult you forever? Why do you hold back your power? Bring your power out in the open and destroy them! God, you have been our king for a long time. You bring salvation to the earth. You split open the sea by your power and broke the heads of the sea monster. You smashed the heads of the monster Leviathan and gave it to the desert creatures as food. You opened up the springs and streams and made the flowing rivers run dry. Both the day and the night are yours; you made the sun and the moon. You set all the limits on the earth; you created summer and winter. Lord, remember how the enemy insulted you. Remember how those foolish people made fun of you. Do not give us, your doves, to those wild animals. Never forget your poor people. Remember the agreement you made with us, because violence fills every dark corner of this land. Do not let your suffering people be disgraced. Let the poor and helpless praise you. God, arise and defend yourself. Remember the insults that come from those foolish people all day long. Don’t forget what your enemies said; don’t forget their roar as they rise against you always.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭74‬:‭1‬-‭23‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/psa.74.1-23.NCV

Gary Chapman‘s thoughts are great. We are blessed with all kinds of emotions to feel. Knowing and learning how to deal with these emotions takes wisdom. Find ways to use this knowledge to grow your wisdom on a regular basis.

God places the lonely in families because He values relationships for people. Relationships are important – in the home and outside of it. That’s one reason you should make church a priority in your marriage.

When many people think of church, they think only of attending the Sunday morning worship service. But that’s only a part of any church worthy of the name. The church is “the called-out ones” (see 1 Peter 2:9), those who have responded to Jesus Christ as Lord and come together to learn and encourage each other. Small Bible study and prayer groups are vital in church fellowship. Be sure that you do not simply sample the Sunday sermon. Get involved in small group studies where you can find answers to the questions that arise.

If you haven’t attended church regularly, start this Sunday. Find a group of Christians with whom you can identify, with whom you can come to share, and who will give you the encouragement and support you need.

Take time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank God for creating you as social beings – and for giving you the family and the church to fulfill your need to belong. Ask Him to guide your search for the right church – or to give you a renewed appreciation for your present church.

Take time to reflect.

How would you summarize your attitude toward church?

How do you know if your church is right for you?

What do you have to offer other people in the church?

Consider these passages for further study on church.

Acts 2:41-47 ⁴¹ Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.

The Fellowship of the Believers

⁴² They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³ Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. ⁴⁴ All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵ They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. ⁴⁶ Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Philippians 2:1-2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

1 Peter 4:8-9 ⁸ Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins. ⁹ Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Psalm 68:5-6 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
    is God in his holy dwelling.
⁶ God sets the lonely in families,^[a]
    he leads out the prisoners with singing;
    but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. These thoughts remind me to value the relationships around me. Uplift and encourage others who need uplifting. When you realize you put yourself in a lonely place. Find a way to go around others to help you become a better person. To yourself and to the Lord.

The moment we acknowledge our failure, God forgives our sins. But as long as we excuse our sins, God will not hear our prayers (see Psalm 66:18). The first step in developing your relationship with God is to confess all known sins. With a pencil and paper, ask, “Lord, where have I failed in my marriage?” As God brings truth to your mind, list your failures. Then go over your list, confessing each sin, thanking God that Christ has paid the penalty for your sin, and accepting His forgiveness for that sin.

Confession and forgiveness do not mean we will immediately lose all remorse about our sin. We may still feel horrible when we reflect on what we’ve done, but our feelings have nothing to do with God’s forgiveness. We must not allow those feelings to defeat us. When feelings of guilt return after confession, we simply say, “Thank you, Father, that those sins are forgiven and that You no longer hold them against me. Help me to forgive myself.”

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. In your prayer time…

Ask God to help you recall your failures in your marriage.

Keep a list of the things He brings to mind.

Confess each one.

Ask for forgiveness for each one.

If you have more time, discuss or reflect on these questions.

What failures in your marriage still need to be forgiven?

How easily can you forgive yourself after you’ve failed your spouse? Why?

Does forgiveness require forgetting the other person’s sin? Explain.

Consider these passages for further study on Confession and Forgiveness.

Luke 15:11-24 The Parable of the Lost Son

¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Hebrews 10:17-18 Then he adds:

“Their sins and lawless acts
    I will remember no more.”^[a]

¹⁸ And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.

Psalm 66:16-20 Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he did for me.

For I cried out to him for help, praising him as I spoke.

If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.

But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer.

Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.

Gary Chapman shared these tips. Evaluating how we treat each other keeps my relationships fresh. Finding ways to encourage and show more respect goes a long way.

For example, if your (or your spouse’s) primary love language is quality time, you’ll find a way to have quality conversations with God that fits your lifestyle. Variety in time, place, and method may enhance your experience. If you’re an indoor person, try having quality time with God outdoors, even in challenging weather. Talking to God in the rain can be a rewarding experience if you acknowledge that He is the God who sends the rain.

If your schedule is filled, then skipping lunch and using the time to be alone with God may be more filling than the best steak you’ve ever tasted. Finding a time and a place may be difficult in our fast-paced world, but the heart that longs for God will make time for Him.

Remember the psalmist’s words: “As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2).

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. As you talk to the Lord…

Thank Him for the privilege of coming to Him in prayer.

Ask Him to help you encourage each other to use your individual love language to connect with Him.

Ask Him to bless your efforts to have a deeper relationship with Him.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When was the last time you longed for God in the way the psalmist described?

How can you use your primary love language to connect with God?

How can your spouse use his or her primary love language to connect with God?

Consider these passages for further study on quality time with God:

Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and my defense^[a];
    he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
    my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

Matthew 6:31-33 ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Luke11:11-13 ¹¹ “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Psalm 42:1-11 For the director of music. A maskil^[c] of the Sons of Korah.

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

⁸ By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Great thoughts from Gary Chapman. They show a priority: we should be aware of the quality time we spend with the Lord.