Furthermore, the word translated “rebuke” means literally “to set a weight upon.” Thus, to rebuke is to lay a matter before someone, to clearly bring it to his or her attention. The New Testament shows numerous examples of this. Rebuke is not verbal abuse. Rebuke is laying a matter before a brother or sister whom you perceive to have wronged you. Such a rebuke needs to be done kindly and firmly, recognizing that there is always a possibility that the other’s words or actions were misunderstood.

It often helps to write the rebuke before trying to speak it. It may go something like this: “Something has been bothering me. In fact, I’m feeling angry. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the situation, but when have an opportunity, I’d like to talk with you about it.” In this context of open communication, each trying to understand the other, the issue can be resolved. Either by the other’s explanation or the other’s confession of wrong, the framework is laid for reconciliation. When the person admits to wrongdoing and expenses a repentant attitude, the clear teaching of Jesus is to forgive the individual.

Take time to ask God

• To give you the courage to rebuke and confront directly when you need to;

• To give you the grace to receive a rebuke when you have wronged another;
• To teach you to forgive freely.

Discuss and reflect:

• Rather than going directly to the person who has wronged you, how do you tend to respond?

• What is your reaction to Jesus’ instructions regarding forgiveness in Luke 17:4?

• Do you have any unresolved conflicts that you need to address?

Consider these passages for further study on conflict:

Nehemiah 13:15-21

¹⁵ In those days I saw people in Judah treading winepresses on the Sabbath and bringing in grain and loading it on donkeys, together with wine, grapes, figs and all other kinds of loads. And they were bringing all this into Jerusalem on the Sabbath.^(A) Therefore I warned them against selling food on that day.¹⁶ People from Tyre who lived in Jerusalem were bringing in fish and all kinds of merchandise and selling them in Jerusalem on the Sabbath^(B) to the people of Judah. ¹⁷ I rebuked the nobles of Judah and said to them, “What is this wicked thing you are doing—desecrating the Sabbath day?¹⁸ Didn’t your ancestors do the same things, so that our God brought all this calamity on us and on this city?^(C) Now you are stirring up more wrath against Israel by desecrating the Sabbath.”^(D)

¹⁹ When evening shadows fell on the gates of Jerusalem before the Sabbath,^(E) I ordered the doors to be shut and not opened until the Sabbath was over. I stationed some of my own men at the gates so that no load could be brought in on the Sabbath day. ²⁰ Once or twice the merchants and sellers of all kinds of goods spent the night outside Jerusalem.²¹ But I warned them and said, “Why do you spend the night by the wall? If you do this again, I will arrest you.” From that time on they no longer came on the Sabbath.

Proverbs 17:10

¹⁰ A reproof entereth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool.

2 Timothy 4:2

² Preach^(A) the word;^(B) be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke^(C) and encourage^(D)—with great patience and careful instruction.

Luke 17:1-10

Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble^(A) are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.^(B) 2 It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones^(C) to stumble.^(D) 3 So watch yourselves.

“If your brother or sister^[a] sins against you, rebuke them;^(E) and if they repent, forgive them.^(F) 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”^(G)

⁵ The apostles^(H) said to the Lord,^(I) “Increase our faith!”

⁶ He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed,^(J) you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.^(K)

⁷ “Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’?⁸ Won’t he rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me^(L) while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? ⁹ Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? ¹⁰ So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”^(M)

Serve others and feel a sense of belongingness. When you put your perspective of serving others, teaching others comes more in place.

Thoughts are of Gary Chapman and helped me put in place where rebuking is important. What is your feelings on rebuking others?