“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow. Oh, that you had listened to my commands! Then you would have had peace flowing like a gentle river and righteousness rolling over you like waves in the sea” (Isaiah 48:17-18).

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

These verses from the prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah paint a portrait of God and the nature of His relationship with us: He teaches us. He guides us. He is with us. He upholds us. He has plans for us. He loves us.

Because of who He is, which He has clearly revealed to us, we can trust Him. He is available for our cries for help (see Isaiah 30:19), and we can trust His guidance. “Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left” (Isaiah 30:21). Our loving Guide never fails us.

Take time to pray to thank God for who He is. Ask God to guide you in the choices you must make.

Discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Which of the verses listed above is your favorite?

What speaks to you in that description?

What are some methods God uses to guide you?

Read John 14:15-18. Who is your constant Advocate, Companion, and Guide? How have you experienced His guidance?

If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.

No, I will not abandon you as orphans – I will come to you.

On what decision in your life do you need God’s guidance?

Luke 18:1-8 suggests that we should appeal to God with persistence and patience.

One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or card about people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’”

Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?”

Consider these passages for further study on guidance:

Psalm 33:8 Let the whole world fear the Lord, and let everyone stand in awe of him.

Proverbs 20:24 The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?

James 1:5-8

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

I am grateful for Gary Chapman’s guidance on putting together these thoughts. It helps see ways that the Lord put in place to trust him so that we want him to guide us. Share ways that you allow the Lord to guide you.

Your prayer might go something like this: “Lord, what is wrong with me? Where am I failing my spouse? What am I doing and saving that I shouldn’t? What am I failing to do or say that I should? Please show me my failures.” This simple prayer (or one like it) has been prayed and answered for thousands of years. Take a look at King David’s prayer, from about 1000 BC: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:23-24) You can be certain that when you pray a prayer like this, God will answer.

Be prepared to make a list of the things He brings to your mind. These may not be major moral failures but could be words and actions that have not been loving and kind. Once you have them written down, you can start planning how to address them.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Ask God to help you…

Recognize the things you’re doing right as a spouse.

Understand the impact your failures have had on your family.

Address the problem areas on your list in a way that honors Him and brings closeness to your family.

When you take time to discuss, reflect on these questions:

When you want an honest opinion about yourself or something you’ve done, who do you turn to? Why?

If you named your spouse in response to the previous question, how do you react to his or her honest assessments? If you didn’t mention your spouse, explain why.

When you examine your own parenting skills, are you more likely to see them in a positive or negative light? Why?

Consider these passages for further study on self-examination:

Psalm 51:1-19 For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is^[b] a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
    to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
    in burnt offerings offered whole;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Keep your strong relationships with others to make yourself even stronger.

When we confess to God, it means that what we have done is wrong. Confession makes no attempt to minimize our wrongdoing but openly admits that our behavior is inexcusable. first John 1:9 tells us God stands ready to forgive those who admit their sins.

After confessing to God, you must confess to the person you’ve wronged.

In marriage, that is your spouse. Your confession might go something like this: “I’ve been thinking about us, and I realize that in a lot of ways I have failed you. I sat down the other day and made a list of things I feel I have done that are wrong. I have asked God to forgive me for each of the things, and if you have a few minutes, I’d like to share my list with you and ask if you would forgive me as well. I really want the future to be different, and I think this is where I need to start.

Take time to pray and tell the Lord:

Praise Him for His willingness to forgive and restore you.

Confess any sins that are eating at your conscience.

Ask Him to bless your efforts to repair relationships that were damaged by your sin.

Take time to reflect:

How does the expression “Right actions begin with right thoughts” apply to your discussion of confession and forgiveness?

When is the best time to talk about issues in your marriage?

How would your spouse respond if you came to him or her with the words of confession in the devotion?

Consider these passages for further study on Confession:

Psalm 32:1-7 Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!

Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.

Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.

For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.

Proverbs 28:13 People Who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.

James 5:16-18 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years! Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops.

The first step in being aware is a step to put together and organize what needs to be changed to make things right. Great tips to reflect on from Gary Chapman.

In addition to the injustices caused by evil, Christians often struggle with apparent personal inequities. For example, “Why did my child die from cancer when others who are less righteous continue to live?” Such questions remind us that we have limited perspectives. First, Peter 1:5-7 tells us that the trials that bring us grief may be used to refine our faith. Romans 8:28 says that God works good out of everything.

While these positive purposes are true, they still do not answer all our questions in times of pain and loss. The call of God is that we will trust Him in the darkness as we trust Him in the light. He has not changed, even though our circumstances have been painfully altered.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. In your prayer…

Thank God for His patience and understanding when you get angry at Him;

Confess any anger you may feel toward Him right now;

Ask Him to give you comfort and peace as you work through suffering and grief.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When was the last time you felt anger toward God?

What did you do about it? Did it help?

How can you maintain a solid relationship with Him even when you don’t understand why He allows certain things to happen?

Consider these passages for further study on Trusting God:

Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
    my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield^[a] and the horn^[b] of my salvation, my stronghold.

Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good,
    a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him,

2 Corinthians 3:4-6 ⁴ Such confidence we have through Christ before God. ⁵ Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. ⁶ He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Job 23:1-7

Then Job replied:

² “Even today my complaint is bitter;
    his hand^[a] is heavy in spite of^[b] my groaning.
³ If only I knew where to find him;
    if only I could go to his dwelling!
⁴ I would state my case before him
    and fill my mouth with arguments.
⁵ I would find out what he would answer me,
    and consider what he would say to me.
⁶ Would he vigorously oppose me?
    No, he would not press charges against me.
⁷ There the upright can establish their innocence before him,
    and there I would be delivered forever from my judge.

I am so happy and grateful for the Lord who gives me strength that I don’t have to understand why. I know it would seem to help my pain, yet in the end, I give it to the Lord so that I will be comforted. Leaning on the Lord and trusting in Him will give me strength. This is a good lesson from Gary Chapman‘s perspective. Great prayer examples to practice and grow your relationship with the Lord.

Renoir answered, “The beauty remains; the pain passes.”

When we, strengthened by God, patiently endure physical and emotional suffering, we can affirm the truth of Renoir’s statement. David’s song to the Lord in 2 Samuel 22:17-20 praises God for rescuing him from his enemies, and for leading him to a place of safety. Through his trials, when his very life was in danger, David remained faithful, trusting in God, knowing that God “delights” in His people.

Our pain will pass. But His beauty, as displayed through us, will remain.

Take time to pray and…

Thank God for the patience He’s shown you;

Ask Him to help you endure disappointment and pain;

Ask Him to help you model patience in your relationship with your spouse and others.

Reflect on these questions:

1. On a scale of one to ten, how patient are you? How patient would your loved one say you are?
2. What kinds of situations tend to try your patience the most? Why?
3. How could your spouse help you recognize the beauty of God’s work in you? How could you do the same for your spouse?

Consider these passages for further study on patience:

Psalm 37:7-9

Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
    when they carry out their wicked schemes.

⁸ Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
    do not fret—it leads only to evil.
⁹ For those who are evil will be destroyed,
    but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman as I evaluate how patient I really am because I endure a lot and it’s awareness of where to stand your ground. Keep learning from those who are patient.