Try beginning your conversation with God with these words: “Father, I want to know what You would say to me this day. As I read this passage in Your Word, bring to my mind the things You want me to hear.”

Read the Bible passage with pen in hand, marking those things that stand out. If necessary, read it a second time, saying, “Lord, I’m not sure I understood what You were saying. Please clarify what’s on Your mind for me.”

After you complete the passage, talk to God about what you’ve underlined. If that’s what God is saying to you, you want to respond. Many people read the Bible and then pray about something totally unrelated to what they read. Nothing could be more discourteous. We wouldn’t treat a friend like that. If a friend makes a statement, we have a response to what He is saying.

Take time to pray and thank God that you may never have to guess what He wants from you, that He always speaks to you through His Word. Ask Him to bless your efforts to create a listening atmosphere in your quiet time.

Reflect on these questions:

Are your quiet times more effective when you do them individually or together? Explain.

What prevents you from listening closely to God?

Consider these passages for further study on Listening to God.

Psalm 143:8

“Tell me in the morning about your love, because I trust you. Show me what I should do, because my prayers go up to you.”
‭‭

Lamentations 3:25

“The Lord is good to those who hope in him, to those who seek him.”
‭‭‬ ‭NCV‬‬

Habakkuk 2:1

“I will stand like a guard to watch and place myself at the tower. I will wait to see what he will say to me; I will wait to learn how God will answer my complaint.”
‭‭‬ ‭NCV‬‬

Good thoughts of Gary Chapman to be aware of how much we listen and explain to others what we learn.

For example, if your (or your spouse’s) primary love language is quality time, you’ll find a way to have quality conversations with God that fits your lifestyle. Variety in time, place, and method may enhance your experience. If you’re an indoor person, try having quality time with God outdoors, even in challenging weather. Talking to God in the rain can be a rewarding experience if you acknowledge that He is the God who sends the rain.

If your schedule is filled, then skipping lunch and using the time to be alone with God may be more filling than the best steak you’ve ever tasted. Finding a time and a place may be difficult in our fast-paced world, but the heart that longs for God will make time for Him.

Remember the psalmist’s words: “As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2).

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. As you talk to the Lord…

Thank Him for the privilege of coming to Him in prayer.

Ask Him to help you encourage each other to use your individual love language to connect with Him.

Ask Him to bless your efforts to have a deeper relationship with Him.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When was the last time you longed for God in the way the psalmist described?

How can you use your primary love language to connect with God?

How can your spouse use his or her primary love language to connect with God?

Consider these passages for further study on quality time with God:

Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and my defense^[a];
    he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
    my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

Matthew 6:31-33 ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Luke11:11-13 ¹¹ “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Psalm 42:1-11 For the director of music. A maskil^[c] of the Sons of Korah.

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

⁸ By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Great thoughts from Gary Chapman. They show a priority: we should be aware of the quality time we spend with the Lord.

Those are strong words – words to which you can anchor your parenting philosophy. “I have never seen the godly abandoned.” Troubles will come and go; God will not. No matter what your situation is now or will be in the future, God will never forsake you. He will always be there for you and see you through to the end. As you raise your children, you’ll find countless opportunities to develop the spiritual aspects of their lives – and your own. Don’t pass them up.

“Their children are a blessing.” As you watch your children grow and mature, you will be heartened to see that God is keeping His promises and blessing your children.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank God for providing an example of loving parenthood for you to follow. Ask Him to give the two of you a big-picture view of parenting so that you don’t get bogged down in your day-to-day struggles.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Describe your relationship with your heavenly Father.

Which characteristics of God do you see in your spouse’s parenting style?

Which characteristics of God would you like to incorporate into your parenting style?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Deuteronomy 4:9-10

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. ¹⁰ Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers,^[a] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

It takes studying and watching positive models to be an encouragement to be a positive parent. We often hear controlling and horrible stories of how families live in different cultures. Let’s embrace love first, and the Lord will bless us—great thoughts of Gary Chapman.

Only through the healing act of confession could David be restored to a right relationship with God and live as the man God had called him to be.

The feeling of being wronged by a spouse can cloud the marriage relationship. But when we, motivated by love, confront our spouse, receive their apology, and forgive, we free them from their burden, as the Lord freed David, and we can go on to rebuild trust and health in the relationship.

Of course, it is tempting when we’ve been wronged to feel like the “good person “ in the marriage. But we too must confess our own sin and admit our own inadequacy. That will help us become more loving, free to forgive- as God has forgiven us.

Take time to pray, individually or as a couple. Acknowledge to the Lord that it’s easy to forget that He conflicts His people of sin because He loves us. Thank Himself for wanting you to be more like Him – and ask for His assistance as the two of you try it.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

What kind of offense is hardest for you to forgive? Why?

Why is it so difficult to give up moral superiority after you’ve been wronged?

What’s the most loving thing you can do after your spouse has wronged you?

Consider these passages for further study on Repentance and Forgiveness:

Psalm 51:1-19

“God, be merciful to me because you are loving. Because you are always ready to be merciful, wipe out all my wrongs. Wash away all my guilt and make me clean again. I know about my wrongs, and I can’t forget my sin. You are the only one I have sinned against; I have done what you say is wrong. You are right when you speak and fair when you judge. I was brought into this world in sin. In sin my mother gave birth to me. You want me to be completely truthful, so teach me wisdom. Take away my sin, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Make me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you crushed be happy again. Turn your face from my sins and wipe out all my guilt. Create in me a pure heart, God, and make my spirit right again. Do not send me away from you or take your Holy Spirit away from me. Give me back the joy of your salvation. Keep me strong by giving me a willing spirit. Then I will teach your ways to those who do wrong, and sinners will turn back to you. God, save me from the guilt of murder, God of my salvation, and I will sing about your goodness. Lord, let me speak so I may praise you. You are not pleased by sacrifices, or I would give them. You don’t want burnt offerings. The sacrifice God wants is a broken spirit. God, you will not reject a heart that is broken and sorry for sin. Do whatever good you wish for Jerusalem. Rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Then you will be pleased with right sacrifices and whole burnt offerings, and bulls will be offered on your altar.‬‬

Romans 2:4

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

1 John 1:9

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness.

We are not perfect and recognizing when we realize we have done wrong. The Lord is merciful and gives us grace and wisdom to forgive. Making opportunities to set things right. Being patient to live in faith. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.

The Bible is filled with God’s words of affirmation. He verbalized His love to us in John 3:16 and dozens of other passages. We need to look no further than Christmas for evidence of God’s gift-giving. Ephesians 2:4-6 reminds us that He gave us the greatest gift when He sent His Son.

His act of service is what the cross is all about. Romans 5:8 tells us Christ paid our penalty. Follow the life of Jesus, and you’ll see Him demonstrating physical touch over and over again. And passages such as James 4:8 clarify that God is ready to spend quality time with all who want it. Turn your thoughts toward Him, and you’ll find His thoughts are already on you.

Since God is fluent in all five love languages, He is uniquely equipped to help you discover yours – or your spouse’s.

Take time to talk to the Lord…

Thank Him for the variety of ways in which He communicates to you;

Ask Him to give you the wisdom to recognize His love, even when it’s communicated in a language you don’t speak;

Ask Him to guide you in helping others recognize and understand God’s love languages.

Reflect on questions about your application to love languages.

Give an example of a time God communicated to you in your primary love language.

Which love language is most difficult for you to understand? Why?

How can you help your spouse or kids recognize God’s love?

Consider these passages for further study of God’s Love.

Zephaniah 3:17 For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Galatians 2:20 My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

I John 4:7-8 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Spiritual intimacy is created by discussing thoughts about spiritual realities. For example, a wife reads Psalm 23 and is intrigues by the personal pronouns: “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need” (Psalm 23:1). She discusses it with her husband, and he tells her about his experience with a shepherd in Australia. They experience spiritual intimacy.

Shared experiences foster spiritual intimacy. A husband and wife attend worship services together, share a hymn book, and sing the same words. They take notes from the pastor’s sermon. On the way home, they talk about the service. They are building spiritual intimacy.

Praying together is another way of building spiritual intimacy. Two people joining in honest personal prayer will discover a deep spiritual unity. If you find it uncomfortable to verbalize prayers in front of your spouse, try silent praying. Though no words are uttered audibly, your hearts will move closer to each other, and you will experience spiritual intimacy.

Take time to pray and bring to the Lord the obstacles that prevent you from experiencing spiritual intimacy with each other. Ask Him to give you the wisdom and resolve to overcome those obstacles and become spiritually intimate.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

When did you last have a really good conversation about spiritual things?

When do you feel most spiritually intimate with each other?

What keeps you from being more spiritually intimate with each other?

Consider these passages for further study on Spiritual intimacy:

Genesis 2:18-25 ¹⁸ The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

¹⁹ Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam^[a] no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs^[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib^[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

²³ The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”

²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

²⁵ Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Philippians 3:7-11 ⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in^[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

1 Peter 3:7-12 ⁷ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Suffering for Doing Good

⁸ Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. ⁹ Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. ¹⁰ For,

“Whoever would love life
    and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
    and their lips from deceitful speech.
¹¹ They must turn from evil and do good;
    they must seek peace and pursue it.
¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
    and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”^[a]

Psalm 23:1-6

Find ways to make you comfortable sharing spiritual conversations with those you love.

As you provide for your children’s basic needs – food, clothing, and shelter – so God provides for His children day after day. However, other gifts of God are reserved for those who ask. Jesus once said, “Keep asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8).

Bring your requests to God, whether for your family, spouse, or yourself.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Spend a few minutes praising Him for the awe-inspiring beauty of His creation. Thank Him for the gifts He gives to everyone – especially those He gives specifically to you.

If you have more time…

Discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Which gifts of God in creation mean the most to you? Why?

How can you help each other recognize God’s gifts?

What gifts have you specifically requested from God? What were the results?

Consider these passages for further study of God’s Gifts:

Luke 11:11-13 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

John 4:4-10 Now he had to go through Samaria. ⁵ So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. ⁶ Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired from the journey, sat by the well. It was about noon.

⁷ When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” ⁸ (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

⁹ The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.^[a])

¹⁰ Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

Romans 5:12-21 Death Through Adam, Life Through Christ

¹² Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people because all sinned—

¹³ To be sure, sin existed before the law was given, but sin is not charged against anyone’s account where there is no law. ¹⁴ Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who is a pattern of the one to come.

¹⁵ But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! ¹⁶ Nor can the gift of God be compared with the result of one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. ¹⁷ For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!

¹⁸ Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people. ¹⁹ For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

²⁰ The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, ²¹ so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Psalm 19:1-14 For the director of music. A psalm of David.

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice^[b] goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
⁵     It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
    like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
⁶ It rises at one end of the heavens
    and makes its circuit to the other;
    nothing is deprived of its warmth.

⁷ The law of the Lord is perfect,
    refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.
⁸ The precepts of the Lord are right,
    giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
    giving light to the eyes.
⁹ The fear of the Lord is pure,
    enduring forever.
The decrees of the Lord are firm,
    and all of them are righteous.

¹⁰ They are more precious than gold,
    than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
    than honey from the honeycomb.
¹¹ By them your servant is warned;
    in keeping them there is great reward.
¹² But who can discern their own errors?
    Forgive my hidden faults.
¹³ Keep your servant also from willful sins;
    may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
    innocent of great transgression.

¹⁴ May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight,
    Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

When we see the beautiful things around us, we know they are gifts from God—even our relationships and the people around us. We should be thankful for everything. Those who make us the most happy would mean the most to us. Recognize and find ways to let others know what makes you happy and how blessed we are with God’s gifts.

No one can ever destroy the deep peace that results from knowing God as Father in the privacy of our hearts. Nothing could bring more security. No human relationship can replace our need to share life with God. He, in turn, will lead us in developing human relationships in which we can love and be loved by others.

The secret to creating a thriving marital relationship is establishing a deep connection with God, individually and as a couple. Give Him a chance to work in and through your lives and your relationships. You’ll be glad you did.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Examine your relationship with your Heavenly Father in His Presence. Talk to Him about areas in which you feel close and others in which you feel distant. Acknowledge that He has authority over your marriage and ask Him to bless your efforts to create intimacy with Him.

If you have more time…

Discuss together or reflect on these questions:

How would you describe your personal relationship with God right now? Why?

What aspects of your relationship have been the most difficult to give up to God’s leadership? Why?

What books, songs, or advisors have influenced your view of God’s leadership?

Consider these passages for further study on following God:

Matthew 26:24-25 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”

²⁵ Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?”

Jesus answered, “You have said so.”

John 8:31-32 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. ³² Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Ephesians 5:1-2 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children ² and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Psalm 16:1-11 A miktam^[a] of David.

¹ Keep me safe, my God,
    for in you I take refuge.

² I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    apart from you I have no good thing.”
³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,
    “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
    I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
    or take up their names on my lips.

⁵ Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
    you make my lot secure.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
⁷ I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    nor will you let your faithful^[b] one see decay.
¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Great thoughts if Gary Chapman helps us find ways to be a better leader. An encouragement to keep learning and applying what you learn as a leader.

The book of Job gives illustrations of poor listening. As Job suffered with illness, grief, and loss, he maintained his good standing before God. But his “friends” brushed him off and insisted that he must have committed some great sin for God to allow him to suffer so much. Finally, after enduring many speeches, Job became fed up. We can hear his frustration in Job 31:35; “If only someone would listen to me!”

God listeners will never share their ideas until they are sure that they understand what the other person is.. In marriage, this is extremely important. Ask questions, repeat what you think your spouse is saying, and ask, “Am I understanding you?” If your spouse says yes, then and only then are you ready to move on. You might say, “I really appreciate your being open with me. Now that I understand where you’re coming from, may I share what I was thinking?” At this point, your spouse will hear your perspective, because you have first taken the time to really hear what he or she was saying.

Take time to pray.

Emphasize to the Lord that you want to be a good and thoughtful listener. Ask Him to help you retain from expressing your opinions too soon or too strongly. Ask Him to give you ears to listen well.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

How would you rate yourself as a listener? Why?

How would your spouse rate you as a listener? Why?

Describe the effect that an interruption has on a conversation – from the listener’s perspective as well as the speaker’s.

Consider these passages for further study on listening:

Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 Don’t make rush promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God, After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.

James 1:19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Job 31:35 “If only someone would listen to me! Look, I will sign my name to my defense. Let the Almighty answer me. Let my accuser write out the charges against me.

When you don’t feel heard, trust in the Lord. When you don’t know what to do, trust in the Lord. He may not directly tell you what to do, yet he hears that you are trying to make the right decision. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman and helped me realize we don

After listening sympathetically to Job’s expressions of anger toward Him, God’s response was not one of condemnation. God reminded Job that His ways were not always understandable to men. He reminded Job that He is the all-powerful Creator and Sustainer of all that is and that, in the final analysis, He is a God of justice who can be trusted.

Job’s ultimate response was to trust God even though he did not understand. This experience deepened Job’s relationship with God. He says, “I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes” (Job 42:5).

Take time to pray and ask God to:

Help you sort out your feelings for Him.

Help you trust Him even though you may not understand what He’s doing.

Deepen your relationship with Him.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

What is the best way to approach God with your anger or questions?

When should a person stop questioning or feeling anger toward God?

After a person experiences a tragedy, do you think any explanation of why it happened could make that person feel better? Explain.

Consider these passages for further study on Questioning God.

Philippians 2:12-13 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³ for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

2 Thessalonians 2:15 So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings^[a] we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

2 Thessalonians 3:6 In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching^[a] you received from us.

Job 42:1-17 Then Job replied to the Lord:

² “I know that you can do all things;
    no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
³ You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me to know.

⁴ “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.’
⁵ My ears had heard of you
    but now my eyes have seen you.
⁶ Therefore I despise myself
    and repent in dust and ashes.”

Epilogue

⁷ After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has. ⁸ So now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly. You have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has.” ⁹ So Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite did what the Lord told them; and the Lord accepted Job’s prayer.

¹⁰ After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. ¹¹ All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver^[a] and a gold ring.

¹² The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. ¹³ And he also had seven sons and three daughters. ¹⁴ The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. ¹⁵ Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.

¹⁶ After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. ¹⁷ And so Job died, an old man and full of years.

It’s good to be in tune with our emotions and feelings toward the Lord. Understanding the ways Job felt and even David can help us understand how we should be when we have these feelings, too. Gary Chapman provides great examples of how we should be more aware of our feelings.