The realization that we are God’s children now and forever should motivate us to praise Him. If your primary love language is words of affirmation, expressing verbal praise to God will be easy. However, it’s also easy to use standard words and phrases expressed at regular times and places. If this happens, even your praise, which starts out as authentic, can become a mere ritual. Thus, you enhance your love relationship with God when you think creatively about places and ways to express praise to Him.

If you worship with your spouse, you can encourage each other to be creative and original in your praise. In the process, you’ll create a spiritual bond that can last a lifetime.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Make it a time of worship to praise God for His creation, love for you, and goodness to your family.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

What standard words and phrases do you hear in praise and worship settings?

Which words do you use most often when praising God?

What is the ideal setting for praising and worshipping God? Why?

Consider these passages for further study on Praise and Worship.

Psalm 71:22-24

I will praise you with the harp
    for your faithfulness, my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
    Holy One of Israel.
²³ My lips will shout for joy
    when I sing praise to you—
    I whom you have delivered.
²⁴ My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
    all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
    have been put to shame and confusion.

Romans 14:11 It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
    every tongue will acknowledge God.’”^[a]

Phillippians 2:9-11

Therefore, God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹ and every tongue acknowledges that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

Psalm 95:1-7

Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;
    let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
² Let us come before him with thanksgiving
    and extol him with music and song.

³ For the Lord is the great God,
    the great King above all gods.
⁴ In his hand are the depths of the earth,
    and the mountain peaks belong to him.
⁵ The sea is his, for he made it,
    and his hands formed the dry land.

⁶ Come, let us bow down in worship,
    let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker;
⁷ for he is our God
    and we are the people of his pasture,
    the flock under his care.

Today, if only you would hear his voice,

When you think of ways to praise the Lord best, you think of ways to share your love. Be aware of your love language and use your abilities and talents to praise the Lord. Everyone shows it differently and shouldn’t be judged by a right or wrong method. Give it your best.

For example, if your (or your spouse’s) primary love language is quality time, you’ll find a way to have quality conversations with God that fits your lifestyle. Variety in time, place, and method may enhance your experience. If you’re an indoor person, try having quality time with God outdoors, even in challenging weather. Talking to God in the rain can be a rewarding experience if you acknowledge that He is the God who sends the rain.

If your schedule is filled, then skipping lunch and using the time to be alone with God may be more filling than the best steak you’ve ever tasted. Finding a time and a place may be difficult in our fast-paced world, but the heart that longs for God will make time for Him.

Remember the psalmist’s words: “As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2).

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. As you talk to the Lord…

Thank Him for the privilege of coming to Him in prayer.

Ask Him to help you encourage each other to use your individual love language to connect with Him.

Ask Him to bless your efforts to have a deeper relationship with Him.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When was the last time you longed for God in the way the psalmist described?

How can you use your primary love language to connect with God?

How can your spouse use his or her primary love language to connect with God?

Consider these passages for further study on quality time with God:

Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and my defense^[a];
    he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
    my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

Matthew 6:31-33 ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Luke11:11-13 ¹¹ “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Psalm 42:1-11 For the director of music. A maskil^[c] of the Sons of Korah.

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

⁸ By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Great thoughts from Gary Chapman. They show a priority: we should be aware of the quality time we spend with the Lord.

Those are strong words – words to which you can anchor your parenting philosophy. “I have never seen the godly abandoned.” Troubles will come and go; God will not. No matter what your situation is now or will be in the future, God will never forsake you. He will always be there for you and see you through to the end. As you raise your children, you’ll find countless opportunities to develop the spiritual aspects of their lives – and your own. Don’t pass them up.

“Their children are a blessing.” As you watch your children grow and mature, you will be heartened to see that God is keeping His promises and blessing your children.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank God for providing an example of loving parenthood for you to follow. Ask Him to give the two of you a big-picture view of parenting so that you don’t get bogged down in your day-to-day struggles.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Describe your relationship with your heavenly Father.

Which characteristics of God do you see in your spouse’s parenting style?

Which characteristics of God would you like to incorporate into your parenting style?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Deuteronomy 4:9-10

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. ¹⁰ Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers,^[a] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

It takes studying and watching positive models to be an encouragement to be a positive parent. We often hear controlling and horrible stories of how families live in different cultures. Let’s embrace love first, and the Lord will bless us—great thoughts of Gary Chapman.

The book of Job gives illustrations of poor listening. As Job suffered with illness, grief, and loss, he maintained his good standing before God. But his “friends” brushed him off and insisted that he must have committed some great sin for God to allow him to suffer so much. Finally, after enduring many speeches, Job became fed up. We can hear his frustration in Job 31:35; “If only someone would listen to me!”

God listeners will never share their ideas until they are sure that they understand what the other person is.. In marriage, this is extremely important. Ask questions, repeat what you think your spouse is saying, and ask, “Am I understanding you?” If your spouse says yes, then and only then are you ready to move on. You might say, “I really appreciate your being open with me. Now that I understand where you’re coming from, may I share what I was thinking?” At this point, your spouse will hear your perspective, because you have first taken the time to really hear what he or she was saying.

Take time to pray.

Emphasize to the Lord that you want to be a good and thoughtful listener. Ask Him to help you retain from expressing your opinions too soon or too strongly. Ask Him to give you ears to listen well.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

How would you rate yourself as a listener? Why?

How would your spouse rate you as a listener? Why?

Describe the effect that an interruption has on a conversation – from the listener’s perspective as well as the speaker’s.

Consider these passages for further study on listening:

Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 Don’t make rush promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God, After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.

James 1:19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Job 31:35 “If only someone would listen to me! Look, I will sign my name to my defense. Let the Almighty answer me. Let my accuser write out the charges against me.

When you don’t feel heard, trust in the Lord. When you don’t know what to do, trust in the Lord. He may not directly tell you what to do, yet he hears that you are trying to make the right decision. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman and helped me realize we don

After listening sympathetically to Job’s expressions of anger toward Him, God’s response was not one of condemnation. God reminded Job that His ways were not always understandable to men. He reminded Job that He is the all-powerful Creator and Sustainer of all that is and that, in the final analysis, He is a God of justice who can be trusted.

Job’s ultimate response was to trust God even though he did not understand. This experience deepened Job’s relationship with God. He says, “I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes” (Job 42:5).

Take time to pray and ask God to:

Help you sort out your feelings for Him.

Help you trust Him even though you may not understand what He’s doing.

Deepen your relationship with Him.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

What is the best way to approach God with your anger or questions?

When should a person stop questioning or feeling anger toward God?

After a person experiences a tragedy, do you think any explanation of why it happened could make that person feel better? Explain.

Consider these passages for further study on Questioning God.

Philippians 2:12-13 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³ for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

2 Thessalonians 2:15 So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings^[a] we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

2 Thessalonians 3:6 In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching^[a] you received from us.

Job 42:1-17 Then Job replied to the Lord:

² “I know that you can do all things;
    no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
³ You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me to know.

⁴ “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.’
⁵ My ears had heard of you
    but now my eyes have seen you.
⁶ Therefore I despise myself
    and repent in dust and ashes.”

Epilogue

⁷ After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has. ⁸ So now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly. You have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has.” ⁹ So Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite did what the Lord told them; and the Lord accepted Job’s prayer.

¹⁰ After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. ¹¹ All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver^[a] and a gold ring.

¹² The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. ¹³ And he also had seven sons and three daughters. ¹⁴ The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. ¹⁵ Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.

¹⁶ After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. ¹⁷ And so Job died, an old man and full of years.

It’s good to be in tune with our emotions and feelings toward the Lord. Understanding the ways Job felt and even David can help us understand how we should be when we have these feelings, too. Gary Chapman provides great examples of how we should be more aware of our feelings.

We too may sense God calling us to a task or mission yet still not feel up to the challenge. Like Moses, we may protest, “Choose somebody else, Lord!” But as someone has said, “God does not always call the equipped, but He always equips the called.”

When we pray consistently and trust Him completely, God will fit us for the task to which He has called us. Some of us may struggle with an unhealthy perfectionism that holds us back. We think we need to wait until we have more skills, more time, more money or wisdom or health – but that attitude, as author Warren Wiersbe has said, “is not humility; it is the worst kind of pride.” If we rely on God, He will use us – just as we are – to accomplish His purposes.

Take time to pray and ask:

To think of one thing you feel called to do that you have hesitated to begin.

Consider whether God is telling you to wait or if you are holding back because you are afraid of failing.

Ask God to give you clarity and peace in the matter.

Reflect on these questions:

When God calls you to do something, which of your skills and talents do you think He will put to work?

What kind of ministry might God be calling you to as a couple?

How will you recognize God’s call?

Consider these passages for further study on Being Called by God:

Proverbs 16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps.

Isaiah 43:1-13

But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
³ For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush^[a] and Seba in your stead.
⁴ Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
    and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life.
⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
    I will bring your children from the east
    and gather you from the west.
⁶ I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
    and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
⁷ everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,
    whom I formed and made.”

⁸ Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,
    who have ears but are deaf.
⁹ All the nations gather together
    and the peoples assemble.
Which of their gods foretold this
    and proclaimed to us the former things?
Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,
    so that others may hear and say, “It is true.”
¹⁰ “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,
    “and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
    and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
    nor will there be one after me.
¹¹ I, even I, am the Lord,
    and apart from me there is no savior.
¹² I have revealed and saved and proclaimed—
    I, and not some foreign god among you.
You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God.
¹³     Yes, and from ancient days I am he.
No one can deliver out of my hand.
    When I act, who can reverse it?”

Romans 11:29 for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.

Nehemiah 2:1-20

In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before, ² so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.”

I was very much afraid, ³ but I said to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?”

⁴ The king said to me, “What is it you want?”

Then I prayed to the God of heaven, ⁵ and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.”

⁶ Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked me, “How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?” It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time.

⁷ I also said to him, “If it pleases the king, may I have letters to the governors of Trans-Euphrates, so that they will provide me safe-conduct until I arrive in Judah? ⁸ And may I have a letter to Asaph, keeper of the royal park, so he will give me timber to make beams for the gates of the citadel by the temple and for the city wall and for the residence I will occupy?” And because the gracious hand of my God was on me, the king granted my requests. ⁹ So I went to the governors of Trans-Euphrates and gave them the king’s letters. The king had also sent army officers and cavalry with me.

¹⁰ When Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official heard about this, they were very much disturbed that someone had come to promote the welfare of the Israelites.

Nehemiah Inspects Jerusalem’s Walls

¹¹ I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days ¹² I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on.

¹³ By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal^[a] Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. ¹⁴ Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King’s Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; ¹⁵ so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall. Finally, I turned back and reentered through the Valley Gate. ¹⁶ The officials did not know where I had gone or what I was doing, because as yet I had said nothing to the Jews or the priests or nobles or officials or any others who would be doing the work.

¹⁷ Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” ¹⁸ I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me.

They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.

¹⁹ But when Sanballat the Horonite, Tobiah the Ammonite official and Geshem the Arab heard about it, they mocked and ridiculed us. “What is this you are doing?” they asked. “Are you rebelling against the king?”

²⁰ I answered them by saying, “The God of heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding, but as for you, you have no share in Jerusalem or any claim or historic right to it.”

Reach out to the Lord, no matter what the situation may be! A great thought by Gary Chapman to show how to step out on faith.

One of their most profound commemorations is Passover. It’s fitting, then, that the events of Ezra 6:19-22 occurred during Passover. God saw His people’s needs and acted by changing the king’s heart. The king not only allowed them to begin rebuilding the temple in Jerusalem, but he also gave them the materials they needed.

God’s past acts of service should give us comfort and hope today. If we will pray to Him, He will respond with acts of love. God knows how to take care of His own.

Take time to pray and thank God for the acts of service He has shown us. Ask Him to help you trust in His continued acts of love, especially in circumstances that are causing you stress or concern right now.

Reflect on these questions:

Name three acts of service God has performed on your behalf – or on behalf of your family.

How often do you commemorate God’s acts of service? Do you think it’s often enough?

How can you help your children fully appreciate God’s acts of service?

Consider these passages for further study of God’s love.

Psalm 86:15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
    slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ezra 6:19-22 On the fourteenth day of the first month, the exiles celebrated the Passover. ²⁰ The priests and Levites had purified themselves and were all ceremonially clean. The Levites slaughtered the Passover lamb for all the exiles, for their relatives the priests, and for themselves. ²¹ So the Israelites who had returned from exile ate it, together with all who had separated themselves from the unclean practices of their Gentile neighbors to seek the Lord, the God of Israel. ²² For seven days they celebrated with joy the Festival of Unleavened Bread because the Lord had filled them with joy by changing the attitude of the king of Assyria so that he assisted them in the work on the house of God, the God of Israel.

Great direction by Gary Chapman. A way to focus on your servant attitude and think about ways you can serve the Lord and others.

What are your priorities? How often do they get lost in the busyness of everyday life? If you struggle with giving priority to the things that are truly important in your life, you can take steps to correct the problem.

The best way to overcome busyness is to prioritize. Identify the things in your life that are more important than others. If the most important things do not take priority, then your time and energy invested in other matters will fail to produce the desired results in your life. After you identify the priorities that are most important to you, make them part of your daily and weekly routine. Remember, if your priorities are not reflected in your schedule, they no longer remain priorities.

Take time to pray and ask God to…

Show you what your priorities really are, based on the amount of time and attention you give them.

Help you realign your priorities so that they honor Him.

Take more time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

When people ask what your priorities are, what do you say?

Based on the amount of time you give each area of your life, what are your actual priorities?

What steps can you take this week to begin realigning your priorities?

Consider these passages for further study on priorities:

Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other gods before^[a] me.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Ezra 3:1-6 When the seventh month came and the Israelites had settled in their towns, the people assembled together as one in Jerusalem. ² Then Joshua son of Jozadak and his fellow priests and Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel and his associates began to build the altar of the God of Israel to sacrifice burnt offerings on it, in accordance with what is written in the Law of Moses the man of God. ³ Despite their fear of the peoples around them, they built the altar on its foundation and sacrificed burnt offerings on it to the Lord, both the morning and evening sacrifices. ⁴ Then in accordance with what is written, they celebrated the Festival of Tabernacles with the required number of burnt offerings prescribed for each day. ⁵ After that, they presented the regular burnt offerings, the New Moon sacrifices and the sacrifices for all the appointed sacred festivals of the Lord, as well as those brought as freewill offerings to the Lord. ⁶ On the first day of the seventh month they began to offer burnt offerings to the Lord, though the foundation of the Lord’s temple had not yet been laid.

It always puts things straight when we put our priorities straight. When the Lord is first, everything aligns. Great points of Gary Chapman. Keep finding ways to evaluate your priorities to set things straight with the Lord.

The key to lessening your spouse’s defensive reactions is learning to communicate your concerns in a way that will not strike at his or her self-esteem. For example, let’s say Bill tends to get defensive any time his wife, Megan, asks him to mow the lawn. Megan can assume the issue is tied to his self-esteem. Therefore, in an open conversation with him on an evening when they are not in conflict, she may say, “Bill, I’ve noticed that when I mention mowing the lawn to you, your natural response is to be defensive. I’m assuming that something in your past related to mowing the grass is causing this defensiveness. I hope you know that my intention is not to anger you, so I would like to find a better way to handle this.” Chances are, Bill will be responsive to what she is saying, and together they can find a way for her to express her concern without stimulating defensiveness in him.

Take time to pray and ask the Lord:

To help you recognize defensiveness in yourself;

To give you insight into your spouse’s defensive hot spots;

Guide the two of you in finding less defensive – and more productive – ways to communicate.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

In the heat of an argument, why is it sometimes tempting to say something you know hits your spouse’s self-esteem hotspot?

How can you tell when you have hit a hot spot in your spouse’s self-esteem?

How can you make amends for past confrontations in which you were less than loving with your spouse?

Consider these passages for further study on communication:

Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly,
But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 Do not be rash with your mouth,
And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.
For God is in heaven, and you on earth;
Therefore let your words be few.

James 1:26 ²⁶ If anyone ^[a]among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.

I Chronicles 19:1-5

 It happened after this that Nahash the king of the people of Ammon died, and his son reigned in his place. ² Then David said, “I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent messengers to comfort him concerning his father. David’s servants came to Hanun in the land of the people of Ammon to comfort him.

³ And the princes of the people of Ammon said to Hanun, ^[a]“Do you think that David really honors your father because he has sent comforters to you? Did his servants not come to you to search and to overthrow and to spy out the land?”

⁴ Therefore Hanun took David’s servants, shaved them, and cut off their garments ^[b]in the middle, at their buttocks, and sent them away. ⁵ Then some went and told David about the men, and he sent to meet them because the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, “Wait at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.”

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. It makes me consider ways of how others are feeling and how I should react to their feelings.

In Hebrews 12:5-6 we read, “And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, ‘My child don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” Why does God disciple us? Because He loves us. He wants to turn us from a pathway of destruction.

If you are a parent, you also have to discipline your children for the same reason. Your children will break the rules. Kindly, firmly, and consistently, you must administer discipline. When you do, your children will learn to live under authority. When your children respect your authority. What could be more important?

Take time to pray…

To thank God for trusting you with the responsibility of raising your children;

To ask Him to help you make necessary changes to your parenting style;

Ask Him to give you the wisdom to know how to discipline your children in a way that honors Him.

Reflect on these questions:

Why does discipline often get a bad rep?

When have you experienced the Lord’s discipline? In hindsight, can you recognize His love in that discipline? Explain.

How can you make sure your children recognize the love behind your discipline?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Deuteronomy 4:9 Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Psalm 113:9

He settles the childless woman in her home
    as a happy mother of children.

Praise the Lord.

2 Timothy 1:5  I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.

I Chronicles 13:9-14

When they came to the threshing floor of Kidon, Uzzah reached out his hand to steady the ark, because the oxen stumbled. ¹⁰ The Lord’s anger burned against Uzzah, and he struck him down because he had put his hand on the ark. So he died there before God.

¹¹ Then David was angry because the Lord’s wrath had broken out against Uzzah, and to this day that place is called Perez Uzzah.^[a]

¹² David was afraid of God that day and asked, “How can I ever bring the ark of God to me?” ¹³ He did not take the ark to be with him in the City of David. Instead, he took it to the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite. ¹⁴ The ark of God remained with the family of Obed-Edom in his house for three months, and the Lord blessed his household and everything he had.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. It makes me think of making sure I don’t discipline with emotion first. Showing that you are in control shows your love as you discipline more to me.