God’s system was not the Israelite system. That’s why He cared for the daughters of Zelophehad in Numbers 6. God clarifies that women have special meaning to Him and deserve men’s honor and respect.

Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:23, “A husband is the head of his wife,” do not mean that the man is more valuable than the woman. Both men and women are made in the image of God and are of infinite worth. The angels in heaven do not rejoice more when a man is converted than when a woman is converted. In Christ “there is no longer… male and female”; they “are all one” (Galatians 3:28). “A husband is the head of his wife” does not mean that the husband is to be a dictator, making independent decisions and telling his wife what to do. Many a Christian dictator has brought ulcers upon himself by carrying an excessive load of responsibility. God did not intend for the husband to make all the decisions alone. Remember, the wife was given to be a helper. How can she help when her husband does not even consult her? The great family need of our day is for Christian leaders, not dictators.

Ask God to help you:

1. Embrace your gender-assigned responsibilities in your relationship;
2. Assist your spouse in embracing his or her responsibilities;
3. Set an example for your children of what it means to be a godly person.

Reflect on these questions:

How comfortable are you with your role in your relationship as it’s described in the Old and New Testaments?

What aspect of your role do you struggle with the most?

What can your partner do to help you become more comfortable in your role?

Consider these passages for further study on Gender Roles:

Proverbs 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,
    but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

Proverbs 31:10-31 ^]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,^[a] and the head of Christ is God.

Numbers 36:1-13

The family heads of the clan of Gilead son of Makir, the son of Manasseh, who were from the clans of the descendants of Joseph, came and spoke before Moses and the leaders, the heads of the Israelite families. ² They said, “When the Lord commanded my lord to give the land as an inheritance to the Israelites by lot, he ordered you to give the inheritance of our brother Zelophehad to his daughters. ³ Now suppose they marry men from other Israelite tribes; then their inheritance will be taken from our ancestral inheritance and added to the tribe they marry into. And so part of the inheritance allotted to us will be taken away. ⁴ When the Year of Jubilee for the Israelites comes, their inheritance will be added to that of the tribe into which they marry, and their property will be taken from the tribal inheritance of our ancestors.”

⁵ Then at the Lord’s command Moses gave this order to the Israelites: “What the tribe of the descendants of Joseph is saying is right. ⁶ This is what the Lord commands for Zelophehad’s daughters: They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan. ⁷ No inheritance in Israel is to pass from one tribe to another, for every Israelite shall keep the tribal inheritance of their ancestors. ⁸ Every daughter who inherits land in any Israelite tribe must marry someone in her father’s tribal clan so that every Israelite will inherit their ancestors’ inheritance. ⁹ No inheritance may pass from one tribe to another, for each Israelite tribe is to keep the land it inherits.”

¹⁰ So Zelophehad’s daughters did as the Lord commanded Moses. ¹¹ Zelophehad’s daughters—Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milkah, and Noah—married their cousins on their father’s side. ¹² They married within the clans of the descendants of Manasseh son of Joseph, and their inheritance remained in their father’s tribe and family.

¹³ These are the commands and regulations the Lord gave through Moses to the Israelites on the plains of Moab by the Jordan