Anger is a response to some event or situation in life that causes us irritation, frustration, pain, or other displeasure. Thousands of events and situations have the potential for provoking anger. An elderly relative makes a tactless comment about your child’s weight. The guy behind you on the expressway follows too closely. Your father was always angry about something when you were growing up, and now you have trouble managing your own anger. Anger is fed by feelings of disappointment, hurt, rejection, and embarrassment. Anger puts you against the person, place, or thing that sparked the emotion. It is the opposite of the feeling of love. Love draws you toward the person; anger sets you against the person.

That’s important to remember when you respond to anger in your life. Are you drawing people toward you or setting yourself against them?

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank God and pray for the instructions He offers in His Word for dealing with anger. Ask Him to help you set a good example for your children as you process and express your own anger.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

How was anger expressed in your home when you were growing up?

How has that affected your own ability to express anger?

How can you and your loved one help each other become role models for your children when it comes to dealing with anger?

Consider these passages for further study on anger:

Psalm 4:4

“When you are angry, do not sin. Think about these things quietly as you go to bed. Selah”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/psa.4.4.NCV

Proverbs 16:32

“Patience is better than strength. Controlling your temper is better than capturing a city.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16‬:‭32‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/pro.16.32.NCV

James 1:19-20

“My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬-‭20‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/jas.1.19-20.NCV

Numbers 20:1-13

“In the first month all the people of Israel arrived at the Desert of Zin, and they stayed at Kadesh. There Miriam died and was buried. There was no water for the people, so they came together against Moses and Aaron. They argued with Moses and said, “We should have died in front of the Lord as our brothers did. Why did you bring the Lord’s people into this desert? Are we and our animals to die here? Why did you bring us from Egypt to this terrible place? It has no grain, figs, grapevines, or pomegranates, and there’s no water to drink!” So Moses and Aaron left the people and went to the entrance of the Meeting Tent. There they bowed facedown, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. The Lord said to Moses, “Take your walking stick, and you and your brother Aaron should gather the people. Speak to that rock in front of them so that its water will flow from it. When you bring the water out from that rock, give it to the people and their animals.” So Moses took the stick from in front of the Lord, as he had said. Moses and Aaron gathered the people in front of the rock, and Moses said, “Now listen to me, you who turn against God! Do you want us to bring water out of this rock?” Then Moses lifted his hand and hit the rock twice with his stick. Water began pouring out, and the people and their animals drank it. But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe me, and because you did not honor me as holy before the people, you will not lead them into the land I will give them.” These are the waters of Meribah, where the Israelites argued with the Lord and where he showed them he was holy.”
‭‭Numbers‬ ‭20‬:‭1‬-‭13‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/num.20.1-13.NCV

How do you know who is God?

1. Read Numbers 23:17-20. God cannot lie, Why is it important for believers to understand this?
2. God does not change His mind. How does this fact strengthen the hope of believers?
3. How can you, in your daily life, make God’s faithfulness apparent to others?
4. God has never lied, failed, or broken a single promise. And yet He forgives you when you lie and fail and don’t keep your promises. How should you react when your spouse fails you?
5. Read Colossians 3:13. Why should you be quick to forgive each other? “Bear with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you.”Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭13‬ ‭NCV‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/105/col.3.13.NCV
6. Forgiveness doesn’t always come easily. Why is it so difficult for you to forgive each other sometimes?

Numbers 23:17-20

“So Balaam went to Balak, where he and the leaders of Moab were standing beside his burnt offering. Balak asked him, “What did the Lord say?” Then Balaam gave this message: “Stand up, Balak, and listen. Hear me, son of Zippor. God is not a human being, and he will not lie. He is not a human, and he does not change his mind. What he says he will do, he does. What he promises, he makes come true. He told me to bless them, so I cannot change the blessing.”
‭‭Numbers‬ ‭23‬:‭17‬-‭20‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/num.23.17-20.NCV

Thoughts of Gary Chapman challenging to write a list of God’s attributes – the specific qualities that you really appreciate. Then, pray and thank Him for each of these qualities.

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.

We now have spiritual life because the Spirit of Christ lives within us, and we have the potential to grow in Christlikeness. It is impossible to live the Christian life without the Spirit of Christ. There must be birth before there can be life and growth.

Many who are trying hard to live good Christian lives are not in fat Christians at all. Such efforts to be Christlike without the Spirit of Christ are futile. Sooner or later, such a person will become frustrated with his or her efforts and will fall by the wayside.

Spiritual growth is much like marital growth. It takes time, open communication, and commitment. Spiritual growth is the result of our cooperating with the Holy Spirit’s work within us and allowing the attitudes of Christ to become our attitudes. In our own efforts, we cannot attain to Christlikeness. Only as we allow God’s Spirit the freedom to work in our lives can He produce the qualities of Christ in us.

For maximal spiritual growth, our daily prayer should be, “Father, I yield my life to Your Spirit today, to work in me the things that will make me more like Christ. Give me a clearer understanding of Your ways as I read the Scriptures, and give me power to follow Christ’s teachings.” This is not a mechanical process. It is a genuine, growing relationship with God that satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart. And when you pursue personal spiritual growth, you create a climate for spiritual intimacy in your marriage.

Take time to pray…

Ask God what specific area of your heart/life He is targeting right now;

Yield your will to His Spirit today, to make you more like Jesus.

Discuss

What is your part in your own spiritual growth, and what is the Holy Spirit’s part?

When have you felt frustrated with your lack of spiritual progress?

When have you clearly seen the Holy Spirit at work in you?

Consider these passages for further study on Spiritual Growth:

Psalm 51:9-11

Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Acts 2:38

Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.

Romans 8:9-11

But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.) And Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you life because you have been made right with God. The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.

John 1:1-18

In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him.

The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.

God sent a man, John the Baptist, to tell about the light so that everyone might believe of his testimony. John himself was not the light; he was simply a witness to tell about the light. The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn – not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.

So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.

John testified about him when he shouted to the crowds, “This is the one I was talking about when I said, ‘Someone is coming after me who is far greater than I am, for he existed long before me.”

From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing local election and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God. But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us.

What are you doing to grow Spiritually?

Zachariah 3:1-7 Then the angel showed me Jeshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord. The Accuser, Satan, was there at the angel’s right hand, making accusations against Jeshua. And the Lord said to Satan, “I, the Lord, reject your accusations, Satan. Yes, the Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebukes you. This man is like a burning stick that has been snatched from the fire.”

Jeshua’s clothing was filthy as he stood there before the angel. So the angel said to the others standing there, “Take off his filthy clothes.” And turning to Jeshua he said, “See, I behave taken away your sins, and now I am giving you these fine new clothes.”

Then I said, “They should also place a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean priestly turban on his head and dressed him in new clothes while the angel of the Lord stood by.

Then the angel of the Lord spoke very solemnly to Jeshua and said, “This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: If you follow my ways and carefully serve me, then you will be given authority over my Temple and its courtyards. I will let you walk among these others standing here.

Forgiveness means that you will no longer hold that failure or hurt against your spouse. It means that you don’t bring up past failures. It means you recognize that Christ has already paid the penalty for your sins. Because God has forgiven you, you can choose to forgive each other.

Dealing with past failures will be really hard for some people, but the benefits of identification, confession, repentance, and forgiveness are so enormous that it will consider these three benefits:

You will no longer fear the past because you have confessed your failures and have been forgiven.

Your close relationships will deepen when you share experience genuine confession, repentance, and forgiveness.

In forgiving others, you become more like Christ. Dealing with past failures is a huge step toward spiritual maturity.

Take time to pray and ask God to:

• Forgive you for specific past failures;
• Make you aware of other past failures you need to deal with;
• Bless your efforts to make repentance and forgiveness an integral part of your relationship.

Discuss or reflect on:

1. Describe the feeling of forgiving someone.
2. Describe the feeling of being forgiven.
3. What past failures do you need to address?

Consider these passages for further study on Forgiving Each Other:

Psalm 86:4-5 Give me happiness, O Lord, for I give myself to you. O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.

Matthew 6:14-15 If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replies, “but, seventy times seven!”

It is a blessing to have the opportunity to forgive and be forgiven. This devotional thoughts are of Gary Chapman.