The word encouraging means “to inspire courage.” We all have areas in which we feel insecure and lack courage, and that lack of courage often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things that we would like to do. The latent potential within your spouse may await your encouraging words.

A couple celebrating fifty years of marriage was asked in an interview, “To what do you attribute the success of your long marriage?” The husband responded, “Sarah was the first young lady I ever dated. When I proposed to her, I was scared stiff. But after the wedding, her dad took me aside and handed me a little package and said, ‘Here is all you really need to know.’”

Reaching into his pocket, the man pulled out a gold watch and said, “This is it.” There, across the face of the watch, where he could see it a dozen times a day, was written, Say something nice to Sarah. “That,” he said, “is the key to our marriage.”

Take time to thank God for the examples of strong relationships. He has given you. Thank Him also for the wisdom found in His Word. Ask Him to help you and your loved one learn to support and encourage each other in significant ways.

Reflect on these questions:

How does your loved one inspire courage in you?

How do you inspire courage in your loved one?

What is the key to your marriage?

Consider these passages for further study on encouragement:

I Thessalonians 5:11 So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

Hebrews 10:23-25 Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

I Peter 4:8-10 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.

Job 2:9 His wife said to him, “Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die.”

Job opens our eyes and shows strength. Even when his loved ones tell him to curse God, he stands up to focus on the good things. The kindness and hope towards others make a difference in how we walk with the Lord. Encourage each other by putting in a good word. Encouraging thoughts of Gary Chapman.

Perhaps your spouse has untapped potential in one or more areas of life. That potential may be awaiting your encouraging words. Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your loved ones perspective. You must first learn what is important to your loved one. Only then can you give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, you are trying to communicate, “I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?” You are trying to show that you believe in your loved one and in their abilities. You are giving credit and praise.

Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage. A loving spouse can supply that all-important catalyst. Of course, encouraging words may be difficult for you to speak. It may not be your primary love language. It may take great effort for you to learn this second language – especially if you have a pattern of critical and condemning words – but it will certainly be worth the effort.

Take time to pray to…

Thank God for the encouragement. He offers in His Word and through other people.

Share with Him your feelings about encouragement – both as a giver and a receiver.

Ask Him to help you become a reliable source of encouragement for your loved ones.

Reflect…

What is the most encouraging thing anyone has ever said to you? What made it so meaningful? Complements speak mountains and when they tell you why! Doesn’t your heart melt?

Do you consider yourself an encouraging person? Do you think your loved one would agree? Explain.

I like to show encouragement through action. They are blown away and see why you are encouraging.

How can you become the kind of encourager your loved one needs?

See where they are weak… and be their rock! Know and ask what they would like to be accountable for, or ask permission to know what they need.

Consider these passages for further study on encouragement:

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Acts 15:32 Judas and Silas, who themselves were prophets, said much to encourage and strengthen the believers.

What are you doing to encourage others today?