In addition to the injustices caused by evil, Christians often struggle with apparent personal inequities. For example, “Why did my child die from cancer when others who are less righteous continue to live?” Such questions remind us that we have limited perspectives. First, Peter 1:5-7 tells us that the trials that bring us grief may be used to refine our faith. Romans 8:28 says that God works good out of everything.

While these positive purposes are true, they still do not answer all our questions in times of pain and loss. The call of God is that we will trust Him in the darkness as we trust Him in the light. He has not changed, even though our circumstances have been painfully altered.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. In your prayer…

Thank God for His patience and understanding when you get angry at Him;

Confess any anger you may feel toward Him right now;

Ask Him to give you comfort and peace as you work through suffering and grief.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When was the last time you felt anger toward God?

What did you do about it? Did it help?

How can you maintain a solid relationship with Him even when you don’t understand why He allows certain things to happen?

Consider these passages for further study on Trusting God:

Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
    my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield^[a] and the horn^[b] of my salvation, my stronghold.

Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good,
    a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him,

2 Corinthians 3:4-6 ⁴ Such confidence we have through Christ before God. ⁵ Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. ⁶ He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Job 23:1-7

Then Job replied:

² “Even today my complaint is bitter;
    his hand^[a] is heavy in spite of^[b] my groaning.
³ If only I knew where to find him;
    if only I could go to his dwelling!
⁴ I would state my case before him
    and fill my mouth with arguments.
⁵ I would find out what he would answer me,
    and consider what he would say to me.
⁶ Would he vigorously oppose me?
    No, he would not press charges against me.
⁷ There the upright can establish their innocence before him,
    and there I would be delivered forever from my judge.

I am so happy and grateful for the Lord who gives me strength that I don’t have to understand why. I know it would seem to help my pain, yet in the end, I give it to the Lord so that I will be comforted. Leaning on the Lord and trusting in Him will give me strength. This is a good lesson from Gary Chapman‘s perspective. Great prayer examples to practice and grow your relationship with the Lord.

After listening sympathetically to Job’s expressions of anger toward Him, God’s response was not one of condemnation. God reminded Job that His ways were not always understandable to men. He reminded Job that He is the all-powerful Creator and Sustainer of all that is and that, in the final analysis, He is a God of justice who can be trusted.

Job’s ultimate response was to trust God even though he did not understand. This experience deepened Job’s relationship with God. He says, “I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes” (Job 42:5).

Take time to pray and ask God to:

Help you sort out your feelings for Him.

Help you trust Him even though you may not understand what He’s doing.

Deepen your relationship with Him.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

What is the best way to approach God with your anger or questions?

When should a person stop questioning or feeling anger toward God?

After a person experiences a tragedy, do you think any explanation of why it happened could make that person feel better? Explain.

Consider these passages for further study on Questioning God.

Philippians 2:12-13 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³ for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

2 Thessalonians 2:15 So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings^[a] we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

2 Thessalonians 3:6 In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching^[a] you received from us.

Job 42:1-17 Then Job replied to the Lord:

² “I know that you can do all things;
    no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
³ You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me to know.

⁴ “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.’
⁵ My ears had heard of you
    but now my eyes have seen you.
⁶ Therefore I despise myself
    and repent in dust and ashes.”

Epilogue

⁷ After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has. ⁸ So now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly. You have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has.” ⁹ So Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite did what the Lord told them; and the Lord accepted Job’s prayer.

¹⁰ After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. ¹¹ All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver^[a] and a gold ring.

¹² The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. ¹³ And he also had seven sons and three daughters. ¹⁴ The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. ¹⁵ Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.

¹⁶ After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. ¹⁷ And so Job died, an old man and full of years.

It’s good to be in tune with our emotions and feelings toward the Lord. Understanding the ways Job felt and even David can help us understand how we should be when we have these feelings, too. Gary Chapman provides great examples of how we should be more aware of our feelings.

God intends negative and positive emotions to serve as motivational instruments that move us in a positive direction. Whatever emotions we experience are good if they move in the right direction. The emotions themselves are neutral; the results will be positive or negative.

Many Christians deny that they have negative emotions. Others try to push their negative emotions onto the back burner and disregard them. Identifying and accepting our feelings and seeking constructive ways of responding is far more productive. Feelings are like thermometers. They report whether we are hot or cold, whether all is well. If all is well, we can celebrate. If everything is not going well, we can take positive action to correct the situation.

Giving emotional support to your spouse begins by allowing positive and negative emotions. To paraphrase Romans 12:15, it is happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep.

Take time to thank God for giving you Jesus’ example in scripture of how to express emotions in a positive way. Ask Him to help you follow Jesus’ example of channeling your own emotions into positive results.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

Describe a time when expressing your emotions got you into trouble.

Describe a time when expressing your emotions led to a positive outcome.

What were the differences between the two situations?

Consider these passages for further study on Emotions:

Galatians 5:16-24 ¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[a] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Ephesians 4:1-21 Unity and Maturity in the Body of Christ

4 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ² Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³ Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ⁴ There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; ⁵ one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶ one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

⁷ But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. ⁸ This is why it^[a] says:

“When he ascended on high,
    he took many captives
    and gave gifts to his people.”^[b]

⁹ (What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions^[c]? ¹⁰ He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) ¹¹ So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

¹⁴ Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶ From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Instructions for Christian Living

¹⁷ So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. ¹⁸ They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. ¹⁹ Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

²⁰ That, however, is not the way of life you learned ²¹ when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.

2 Peter 1:5-9 ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

Job 15:1-35

Eliphaz

15 Then Eliphaz the Temanite replied:

² “Would a wise person answer with empty notions
    Or fill their belly with the hot east wind?
³ Would they argue with useless words,
    with speeches that have no value?
⁴ But you even undermine piety
    and hinder devotion to God.
⁵ Your sin prompts your mouth;
    you adopt the tongue of the crafty.
⁶ Your own mouth condemns you, not mine;
    your own lips testify against you.

⁷ “Are you the first man ever born?
    Were you brought forth before the hills?
⁸ Do you listen in on God’s council?
    Do you have a monopoly on wisdom?
⁹ What do you know that we do not know?
    What insights do you have that we do not have?
¹⁰ The gray-haired and the aged are on our side,
    men even older than your father.
¹¹ Are God’s consolations not enough for you,
    words spoken gently to you?
¹² Why has your heart carried you away,
    and why do your eyes flash,
¹³ so that you vent your rage against God
    and pour out such words from your mouth?

¹⁴ “What are mortals, that they could be pure,
    or those born of woman, that they could be righteous?
¹⁵ If God places no trust in his holy ones,
    if even the heavens are not pure in his eyes,
¹⁶ how much less mortals, who are vile and corrupt,
    who drink up evil like water!

¹⁷ “Listen to me, and I will explain to you;
    let me tell you what I have seen,
¹⁸ what the wise have declared,
    hiding nothing received from their ancestors
¹⁹ (to whom alone the land was given
    when no foreigners moved among them):
²⁰ All his days, the wicked man suffers torment,
    the ruthless man through all the years stored up for him.
²¹ Terrifying sounds fill his ears;
    when all seems well, marauders attack him.
²² He despairs of escaping the realm of darkness;
    he is marked for the sword.
²³ He wanders about for food like a vulture;
    he knows the day of darkness is at hand.
²⁴ Distress and anguish fill him with terror;
    troubles overwhelm him, like a king poised to attack,
²⁵ because he shakes his fist at God
    and vaunts himself against the Almighty,
²⁶ defiantly charging against him
    with a thick, strong shield.

27 “Though his face is covered with fat
    and his waist bulges with flesh,
28 he will inhabit ruined towns
    and houses where no one lives,
    houses crumbling to rubble.
29 He will no longer be rich, and his wealth will not endure,
    nor will his possessions spread over the land.
30 He will not escape the darkness;
    a flame will wither his shoots,
    and the breath of God’s mouth will carry him away.
31 Let him not deceive himself by trusting what is worthless,
    for he will get nothing in return.
32 Before his time, he will wither,
    and his branches will not flourish.
³³ He will be like a vine stripped of its unripe grapes,
    like an olive tree shedding its blossoms.
³⁴ For the company of the godless will be barren,
    and fire will consume the tents of those who love bribes.
³⁵ They conceive trouble and give birth to evil;
    their womb fashions deceit.”

Gary Chapman‘s great thoughts explain how our emotions are sensitive to our decisions. Being more aware of when our emotions lead our lives can help guide us to make stronger decisions.