Since we are most sensitive to the discipline that relates directly to our primary love language, God often chooses that language to bring us to a place of growth. For example, for those of us who respond best to words of affirmation, the heavens become silent. Work colleagues begin to deliver messages of condemnation. Spouses and children become critical. With empty hearts, we cry out to God in desperation and begin our journey homeward.

God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows how to get our attention. His discipline is not always pleasant, but it is always purposeful. Can the same be said of the discipline in your home?

Take some time to pray and ask the Lord to help you:

Respond appropriately to His discipline.

Mete out your own discipline in a way that honors Him.

Help your kids (or the object of your discipline) recognize the loving concern behind your discipline.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When it comes to discipline, are you more likely to err on the side of harshness or leniency?

What signals do you send when you discipline in your family?

What can you do to make your discipline more like God’s?

Consider these passages for further study on Discipline:

Proverbs 3:11-12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke,
¹² because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in.^[a]

Proverbs 6:20-23 My son, keep your father’s command
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
²¹ Bind them always on your heart;
    fasten them around your neck.
²² When you walk, they will guide you;
    when you sleep, they will watch over you;
    when you awake, they will speak to you.
²³ For this command is a lamp,
    this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
    are the way to life,

Proverbs 15:5 A fool spurns a parent’s discipline,
    but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.

Psalm 94:1-23 The Lord is a God who avenges.
    O God who avenges, shine forth.
² Rise up, Judge of the earth;
    pay back to the proud what they deserve.
³ How long, Lord, will the wicked,
    how long will the wicked be jubilant?

⁴ They pour out arrogant words;
    all the evildoers are full of boasting.
⁵ They crush your people, Lord;
    they oppress your inheritance.
⁶ They slay the widow and the foreigner;
    they murder the fatherless.
⁷ They say, “The Lord does not see;
    the God of Jacob takes no notice.”

⁸ Take notice, you senseless ones among the people;
    you fools, when will you become wise?
⁹ Does he who fashioned the ear not hear?
    Does he who formed the eye not see?
¹⁰ Does he who disciplines nations not punish?
    Does he who teaches mankind lack knowledge?
¹¹ The Lord knows all human plans;
    he knows that they are futile.

¹² Blessed is the one you discipline, Lord,
    the one you teach from your law;
¹³ you grant them relief from days of trouble,
    till a pit is dug for the wicked.
¹⁴ For the Lord will not reject his people;
    he will never forsake his inheritance.
¹⁵ Judgment will again be founded on righteousness,
    and all the upright in heart will follow it.

¹⁶ Who will rise up for me against the wicked?
    Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?
¹⁷ Unless the Lord had given me help,
    I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.
¹⁸ When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
¹⁹ When anxiety was great within me,
    your consolation brought me joy.

²⁰ Can a corrupt throne be allied with you—
    a throne that brings on misery by its decrees?
²¹ The wicked band together against the righteous
    and condemn the innocent to death.
²² But the Lord has become my fortress,
    and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.
²³ He will repay them for their sins
    and destroy them for their wickedness;
    the Lord our God will destroy them.

From a biblical perspective, the purpose of life is not to accomplish our objectives. We were given life so that we could know God and bring Him glory. Marriage is a gift that can help us achieve that purpose.

Yet in the routine struggles of life, we spend more energy maintaining our jobs, completing household chores, and raising children than we do bringing glory to God. However, these very things, if done with the right spirit, do honor God. No matter how mundane a task seems, it can be an act of worship if you allow it to be. As you serve your family, you are serving God.

Take time to pray and spend time in worship. Praise God for His perfection, holiness, grace, and countless other attributes. Thank Him for the blessings He’s given your family. Ask Him to help you maintain a sense of worship in everything you do.

Reflect on these questions:

Why do you often put your needs and wants ahead of honoring God?

How can you tell if you are truly bringing honor to God?

What are specific ways you can bring glory to God this week at home, in your workplace, or your community?

Consider these passages for further study on Priorities:

Deuteronomy 6:5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

I Corinthians 6:20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

I Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

I Chronicles 28:8-10

“So now I charge you in the sight of all Israel and of the assembly of the Lord, and in the hearing of our God: Be careful to follow all the commands of the Lord your God, that you may possess this good land and pass it on as an inheritance to your descendants forever.

⁹ “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. ¹⁰ Consider now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house as the sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.”

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. One to always check to see if your priorities are straight in all you do.

On a human level, parents discipline children in keeping with what they believe to be for the child’s good. But parents are imperfect and sometimes make mistakes. God, on the other hand, is holy and perfect. His discipline is always for our ultimate good. His discipline is seldom pleasant and sometimes painful, but His purpose is to guide us back to the pathway of righteousness and peace.

Those two words, righteousness, and peace must never be separated. Most of us crave “inner peace” – the removal of all anxiety. We want our emotions, thoughts, desires, and actions to relate to each other harmoniously. We also desire peace in our relationships. But there can be no peace on any level if we do not live in keeping with the Creator’s design.

Scripture calls us to live righteously by choosing the right path and obeying the rules of God. When we walk in righteousness, we experience peace. This is always God’s desire, and His discipline is intended to move us to this higher ideal.

Take time to pray and thank God for His discipline, even though it stings sometimes. Ask Him to help you understand why He is disciplining you and what you need to do about it.

Discuss together or reflect on these questions:

How do you show love in the midst of discipline?

What does God’s discipline feel like? Explain.

What is getting in the way of peace and harmony in your relationship with your loved one?

Consider these passages for further study on discipline.

Job 5:17-18 “Blessed is the one whom God corrects;
    so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.^[a]
18 For he wounds, but he also binds up;
    he injures, but his hands also heal.

Psalm 119:67-75

Before I was afflicted I went astray,
    but now I obey your word.
⁶⁸ You are good, and what you do is good;
    teach me your decrees.
⁶⁹ Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies,
    I keep your precepts with all my heart.
⁷⁰ Their hearts are callous and unfeeling,
    but I delight in your law.
⁷¹ It was good for me to be afflicted
    so that I might learn your decrees.
⁷² The law from your mouth is more precious to me
    than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.

י Yodh

⁷³ Your hands made me and formed me;
    give me the understanding to learn your commands.
⁷⁴ May those who fear you rejoice when they see me,
    for I have put my hope in your word.
⁷⁵ I know, Lord, that your laws are righteous,
    and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.

Proverbs 3:11-12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke,
¹² because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son, he delights in.^[a]

The hardest for me is understanding and realizing the discipline we need to help us grow. Keep praying for strength as you grow to overcome the discipline you need. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.