For some people, that kind of guidance seems to come naturally. For others, though, it takes a lot of practice – and usually a lot of trial and error. Where do the two of you fit on the continuum? What kind of teachers are you where your children are concerned?

Here’s a more sobering question: What if your children turn out to be just like you? Would you be concerned? If so, what steps do you need to take? What do you need to change in your parenting? Why not begin that change today?

God is available to help. He has loaded His Word with principles to guild you. He’s also surrounded you with friends, family, and fellow believers to assist you.

Tak time to pray and identify areas of your life in which you’ve failed to reach your potential. Confess any wrong attitudes or actions that have caused you to fail. Ask the Lord to give you the wisdom and courage to change those areas so that you may be a role model to your children.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

Who do you look to as parenting role models – or simply as good parents?

How is your parenting style similar to theirs? How is it different?

How do the two of you complement each other as parents? In what areas are you both lacking?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Proverbs 1:8-9 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
⁹ They are a garland to grace your head
    and a chain to adorn your neck.

Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³ “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”^[a]

⁴ Fathers,^[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Psalm 124:1-8 If the Lord had not been on our side—
    let Israel say—
² if the Lord had not been on our side
    when people attacked us,
³ they would have swallowed us alive
    when their anger flared against us;
⁴ the flood would have engulfed us,
    the torrent would have swept over us,
⁵ the raging waters
    would have swept us away.

⁶ Praise be to the Lord,
    who has not let us be torn by their teeth.
⁷ We have escaped like a bird
    from the fowler’s snare;
the snare has been broken,
    and we have escaped.
⁸ Our help is in the name of the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

Great devotional to evaluate of Gary Chapman.

Looking for examples of other great families and what they do to create valuable relationships helps understand actions to apply. Share what has helped you.

Some parents have forgotten how to be confident in a fallen world. Parenting has changed just as our world has changed. As our children grow, we must adapt and tweak our parenting style. Finding the right balance is next to impossible. And any balance found is likely to be upset as our children move into yet another stage of development.

Most of us are well aware of the mistakes we’ve made as parents. Yet, we don’t have to be defined by those mistakes. We can use them as educational tools to help us make the necessary changes for the future. As our children mature, so should we.

Because we’re human, we’ll never be perfect parents. But we serve a perfect God with a deep interest in our children. His Word can inspire, comfort, and empower us to parent.

Take time to pray and thank God for blessing you with your children. Talk to Him about your parenting challenges and disappointments. Ask Him to bless your efforts to raise children who will bring Him honor and glory.

When you make time to discuss or reflect on these questions together:

How did you picture yourself as a parent before you had kids?

What has surprised you most about parenting?

What do you want your parenting legacy to be?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting.

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will vindicate me;
    your love, Lord, endures forever—
    do not abandon the works of your hands.

Isaiah 44:3-5 For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
    and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
    and my blessing on your descendants.
⁴ They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
    like poplar trees by flowing streams.
⁵ Some will say, ‘I belong to the Lord’;
    others will call themselves by the name of Jacob;
still others will write on their hand, ‘The Lord’s,’
    and will take the name Israel.

Jeremiah 31:17 So there is hope for your descendants,”
declares the Lord.
    “Your children will return to their own land.

Psalm 112:1-10 Praise the Lord.^[b]

Blessed are those who fear the Lord,
    who find great delight in his commands.

² Their children will be mighty in the land;
    the generation of the upright will be blessed.
³ Wealth and riches are in their houses,
    and their righteousness endures forever.
⁴ Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
    for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.
⁵ Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
    who conduct their affairs with justice.

⁶ Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
    they will be remembered forever.
⁷ They will have no fear of bad news;
    their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
⁸ Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
    in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
⁹ They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
    their righteousness endures forever;
    their horn^[c] will be lifted high in honor.

¹⁰ The wicked will see and be vexed,
    they will gnash their teeth and waste away;
    the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Finding the strengths helps focus on seeing more ways to thrive. It can also show where we lean on others with our weaknesses. It takes a village to bring up a child.

Once the experience of falling in love has run its natural course, couples return to the world of reality and begin to assert themselves.

Some couples believe that the end of the in-love experience means they must either resign themselves to a life of misery with their spouse or jump ship and try again. But there is a better alternative: we can recognize the in-love experience for what it was – a temporary emotional high – and pursue “real love” with our spouses.

That kind of love involves an act of the will and requires discipline. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. We need to be loved by someone who chooses to love us, who sees in us something worth loving.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Talk to God about the state of your marriage. Share your thoughts and concerns about the end of your in-love experience with Him. Ask Him to help you choose to love your spouse.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

What percentage of couples would avoid marriage if they knew how difficult it can be? Explain.

Where are you and your spouse on the “in love” timeline? How do you feel about that?

Give an example of how you choose to love your spouse.

Consider these passages for further study on Love:

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up conflict,
    but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Psalm 103:1-5 Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 Who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

This helps you analyze the good, the bad, and the ugly part of love in your relationship. Know what holds you together and will stand fast for the better. Evaluate what you always need to do to make it better.

Since we are most sensitive to the discipline that relates directly to our primary love language, God often chooses that language to bring us to a place of growth. For example, for those of us who respond best to words of affirmation, the heavens become silent. Work colleagues begin to deliver messages of condemnation. Spouses and children become critical. With empty hearts, we cry out to God in desperation and begin our journey homeward.

God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows how to get our attention. His discipline is not always pleasant, but it is always purposeful. Can the same be said of the discipline in your home?

Take some time to pray and ask the Lord to help you:

Respond appropriately to His discipline.

Mete out your own discipline in a way that honors Him.

Help your kids (or the object of your discipline) recognize the loving concern behind your discipline.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When it comes to discipline, are you more likely to err on the side of harshness or leniency?

What signals do you send when you discipline in your family?

What can you do to make your discipline more like God’s?

Consider these passages for further study on Discipline:

Proverbs 3:11-12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke,
¹² because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in.^[a]

Proverbs 6:20-23 My son, keep your father’s command
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
²¹ Bind them always on your heart;
    fasten them around your neck.
²² When you walk, they will guide you;
    when you sleep, they will watch over you;
    when you awake, they will speak to you.
²³ For this command is a lamp,
    this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
    are the way to life,

Proverbs 15:5 A fool spurns a parent’s discipline,
    but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.

Psalm 94:1-23 The Lord is a God who avenges.
    O God who avenges, shine forth.
² Rise up, Judge of the earth;
    pay back to the proud what they deserve.
³ How long, Lord, will the wicked,
    how long will the wicked be jubilant?

⁴ They pour out arrogant words;
    all the evildoers are full of boasting.
⁵ They crush your people, Lord;
    they oppress your inheritance.
⁶ They slay the widow and the foreigner;
    they murder the fatherless.
⁷ They say, “The Lord does not see;
    the God of Jacob takes no notice.”

⁸ Take notice, you senseless ones among the people;
    you fools, when will you become wise?
⁹ Does he who fashioned the ear not hear?
    Does he who formed the eye not see?
¹⁰ Does he who disciplines nations not punish?
    Does he who teaches mankind lack knowledge?
¹¹ The Lord knows all human plans;
    he knows that they are futile.

¹² Blessed is the one you discipline, Lord,
    the one you teach from your law;
¹³ you grant them relief from days of trouble,
    till a pit is dug for the wicked.
¹⁴ For the Lord will not reject his people;
    he will never forsake his inheritance.
¹⁵ Judgment will again be founded on righteousness,
    and all the upright in heart will follow it.

¹⁶ Who will rise up for me against the wicked?
    Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?
¹⁷ Unless the Lord had given me help,
    I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.
¹⁸ When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
¹⁹ When anxiety was great within me,
    your consolation brought me joy.

²⁰ Can a corrupt throne be allied with you—
    a throne that brings on misery by its decrees?
²¹ The wicked band together against the righteous
    and condemn the innocent to death.
²² But the Lord has become my fortress,
    and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.
²³ He will repay them for their sins
    and destroy them for their wickedness;
    the Lord our God will destroy them.

When spouses neglect their own love relationship, either intentionally or unintentionally, they do so to the detriment of their children. Research clearly shows that the effect of divorce on a child is devastating. Divorces normally do not occur on the spur of the moment. They are preceded by months and sometimes years of neglecting the marital relationship. Therefore, for the conscientious parent, there is nothing more important than rekindling or keeping alive an intimate relationship with his or her spouse. The antidote to divorce is to stop the process of drifting apart. Choose to paddle your canoes toward each other rather than away from each other. Commit yourselves to your relationship and your family. Make your marriage a priority. You will please yourselves, your children, and God.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. As you pray, Thank God for the relationship with your spouse that He has blessed you with. Ask God to help you identify the times you have failed to paddle toward each other. Ask Him to help you and your spouse learn to move toward each other in all circumstances.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Describe the effects of divorce on a child, whether from your own experience or from stories you’ve heard from friends or loved ones.

What would your spouse say about the priority you place on your marriage?

How might you and your spouse “paddle your canoes toward each other”?

Consider these passages for further study on Intimacy:

Psalm 63:1-11

You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶ On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
    they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
    and become food for jackals.

¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
    all who swear by God will glory in him,
    while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

I Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

James 4:8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Psalm 89:1-2 I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever;
    with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known
    through all generations.
² I will declare that your love stands firm forever,
    that you have established your faithfulness in heaven itself.

Great thoughts from Gary Chapman. Knowing each other’s love language helps to keep it top of mind when keeping your loved ones happy in your circle. Seeing other’s points of view and the consequences of each decision enables you to slow down and ensure you are making the right decision. Make time for the important things, and it will show.

The important thing to remember in dealing with anger- especially anger toward your spouse- is that you do not allow your negative emotions to lead you to wrongful behavior. Sharing your anger with your spouse is essential. Emotions come and go. When we talk about them, they tend to go. When we hold them inside, they tend to stay.

If you find it difficult to break the barrier of silence, try writing your thoughts and feelings in a letter to your spouse. Many times it is easier to write than it is to speak of such feelings. But as you become comfortable writing the letters and your spouse reads them with understanding and comfort and encouragement, you will eventually learn to verbalize your feelings and thoughts. Writing can be a big step in the process of learning how to communicate openly.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Ask God to help you…

Make amends for past incidents in which you expressed anger unhealthily.

Express your anger in a way that strengthens your relationship instead of damaging it.

Create a relationship in which you feel comfortable sharing any emotion.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

How has anger damaged your relationship in the past?

What changes would you like to see each other make in the way you express anger?

What specific strategies can you use to make sure your anger is dealt with properly?

Consider these passages for further study on anger:

Psalm 7:11 God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day.

Mark 3:1-6 Jesus went into the synagogue again and noticed a man with a deformed hand. Since it was the Sabbath, Jesus’ enemies watched him closely. If he healed the man’s hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the deformed hand, Come and stand in front of everyone.” Then he turned to his critics and asked, “Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?” But they wouldn’t answer him.

He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man, “Hold out your hand.” So the man held out his hand, and it was restored! At once the Pharisees went away and met with the supporters of Herod to plot how to kill Jesus.

John 2:13-17 It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem. In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”

Then his disciples remembered this prophecy from the Scriptures: “Passion for God’s house will consume me.”

Psalm 74:1-23

“God, why have you rejected us for so long? Why are you angry with us, the sheep of your pasture? Remember the people you bought long ago. You saved us, and we are your very own. After all, you live on Mount Zion. Make your way through these old ruins; the enemy wrecked everything in the Temple. Those who were against you shouted in your meeting place and raised their flags there. They came with axes raised as if to cut down a forest of trees. They smashed the carved panels with their axes and hatchets. They burned your Temple to the ground; they have made the place where you live unclean. They thought, “We will completely crush them!” They burned every place where God was worshiped in the land. We do not see any signs. There are no more prophets, and no one knows how long this will last. God, how much longer will the enemy make fun of you? Will they insult you forever? Why do you hold back your power? Bring your power out in the open and destroy them! God, you have been our king for a long time. You bring salvation to the earth. You split open the sea by your power and broke the heads of the sea monster. You smashed the heads of the monster Leviathan and gave it to the desert creatures as food. You opened up the springs and streams and made the flowing rivers run dry. Both the day and the night are yours; you made the sun and the moon. You set all the limits on the earth; you created summer and winter. Lord, remember how the enemy insulted you. Remember how those foolish people made fun of you. Do not give us, your doves, to those wild animals. Never forget your poor people. Remember the agreement you made with us, because violence fills every dark corner of this land. Do not let your suffering people be disgraced. Let the poor and helpless praise you. God, arise and defend yourself. Remember the insults that come from those foolish people all day long. Don’t forget what your enemies said; don’t forget their roar as they rise against you always.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭74‬:‭1‬-‭23‬ ‭NCV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/105/psa.74.1-23.NCV

Gary Chapman‘s thoughts are great. We are blessed with all kinds of emotions to feel. Knowing and learning how to deal with these emotions takes wisdom. Find ways to use this knowledge to grow your wisdom on a regular basis.

The method of prayer is not important. What is important is that we come to God together. There is something about the experience of praying together that unites as great potential for spiritual intimacy as praying together.

You will also want to pray for each other daily in your private prayers. Be specific in your prayers. Pray for some of the concerns your spouse has shared with you. Discover some of the prayers in the Bible, and pray these prayers for your spouse. The Psalms can also aid you in praying for your spouse. Read each verse and say a prayer for your spouse based on what that verse brings to mind.

If you commit to regular prayer with (and for) your spouse, you’ll see a big difference in each other and in your relationship.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. If your partner is not yet comfortable with praying together, ask the Lord to help him or her see the benefits in it. If you are praying together, ask the Lord to bless your prayer time and help you use it wisely.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

In what ways are your prayer habits and styles different?

How do you complement each other when it comes to prayer?

When would be the best time for you to schedule a regular prayer time together?

Consider these passages for further study on prayer.

Matthew 6:5-13

When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get.

But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything will reward you.

When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again.

Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him! Pray like this:

Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.

May your Kingdom come soon.

May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us the evil one.

Ephesians 1:15-23 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere

I have not stopped thanking God for you, I pray for you constantly. Asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called- his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else – not only in this world but also in the world to come.

God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.

Philippians 1:9-11

I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation – the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ – for this will bring much glory and priase to God.

Psalm 63:1-11

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

¹ You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶ On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
    they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
    and become food for jackals.

¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
    all who swear by God will glory in him,
    while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

Prayer is a part of our lives. Take it seriously, and we will find a new life with Christ. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Keep prayer spontaneous and regular to see amazing results.

When we confess to God, it means that what we have done is wrong. Confession makes no attempt to minimize our wrongdoing but openly admits that our behavior is inexcusable. first John 1:9 tells us God stands ready to forgive those who admit their sins.

After confessing to God, you must confess to the person you’ve wronged.

In marriage, that is your spouse. Your confession might go something like this: “I’ve been thinking about us, and I realize that in a lot of ways I have failed you. I sat down the other day and made a list of things I feel I have done that are wrong. I have asked God to forgive me for each of the things, and if you have a few minutes, I’d like to share my list with you and ask if you would forgive me as well. I really want the future to be different, and I think this is where I need to start.

Take time to pray and tell the Lord:

Praise Him for His willingness to forgive and restore you.

Confess any sins that are eating at your conscience.

Ask Him to bless your efforts to repair relationships that were damaged by your sin.

Take time to reflect:

How does the expression “Right actions begin with right thoughts” apply to your discussion of confession and forgiveness?

When is the best time to talk about issues in your marriage?

How would your spouse respond if you came to him or her with the words of confession in the devotion?

Consider these passages for further study on Confession:

Psalm 32:1-7 Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!

Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.

Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.

For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.

Proverbs 28:13 People Who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.

James 5:16-18 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years! Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops.

The first step in being aware is a step to put together and organize what needs to be changed to make things right. Great tips to reflect on from Gary Chapman.

Try beginning your conversation with God with these words: “Father, I want to know what You would say to me this day. As I read this passage in Your Word, bring to my mind the things You want me to hear.”

Read the Bible passage with pen in hand, marking those things that stand out. If necessary, read it a second time, saying, “Lord, I’m not sure I understood what You were saying. Please clarify what’s on Your mind for me.”

After you complete the passage, talk to God about what you’ve underlined. If that’s what God is saying to you, you want to respond. Many people read the Bible and then pray about something totally unrelated to what they read. Nothing could be more discourteous. We wouldn’t treat a friend like that. If a friend makes a statement, we have a response to what He is saying.

Take time to pray and thank God that you may never have to guess what He wants from you, that He always speaks to you through His Word. Ask Him to bless your efforts to create a listening atmosphere in your quiet time.

Reflect on these questions:

Are your quiet times more effective when you do them individually or together? Explain.

What prevents you from listening closely to God?

Consider these passages for further study on Listening to God.

Psalm 143:8

“Tell me in the morning about your love, because I trust you. Show me what I should do, because my prayers go up to you.”
‭‭

Lamentations 3:25

“The Lord is good to those who hope in him, to those who seek him.”
‭‭‬ ‭NCV‬‬

Habakkuk 2:1

“I will stand like a guard to watch and place myself at the tower. I will wait to see what he will say to me; I will wait to learn how God will answer my complaint.”
‭‭‬ ‭NCV‬‬

Good thoughts of Gary Chapman to be aware of how much we listen and explain to others what we learn.

For example, if your (or your spouse’s) primary love language is quality time, you’ll find a way to have quality conversations with God that fits your lifestyle. Variety in time, place, and method may enhance your experience. If you’re an indoor person, try having quality time with God outdoors, even in challenging weather. Talking to God in the rain can be a rewarding experience if you acknowledge that He is the God who sends the rain.

If your schedule is filled, then skipping lunch and using the time to be alone with God may be more filling than the best steak you’ve ever tasted. Finding a time and a place may be difficult in our fast-paced world, but the heart that longs for God will make time for Him.

Remember the psalmist’s words: “As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2).

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. As you talk to the Lord…

Thank Him for the privilege of coming to Him in prayer.

Ask Him to help you encourage each other to use your individual love language to connect with Him.

Ask Him to bless your efforts to have a deeper relationship with Him.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When was the last time you longed for God in the way the psalmist described?

How can you use your primary love language to connect with God?

How can your spouse use his or her primary love language to connect with God?

Consider these passages for further study on quality time with God:

Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and my defense^[a];
    he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
    my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

Matthew 6:31-33 ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Luke11:11-13 ¹¹ “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Psalm 42:1-11 For the director of music. A maskil^[c] of the Sons of Korah.

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

⁸ By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Great thoughts from Gary Chapman. They show a priority: we should be aware of the quality time we spend with the Lord.