The motion that religion is “personal” and something about which one does not talk is the same misconception that emotions are personal and not something to be discussed. When we categorically refuse, for whatever reason, to discuss our spiritual perceptions, we are eliminating an entire aspect of our humanity, and thus we limit marital intimacy. Spiritual intimacy does not require the agreement of belief in every detail. The purpose is not agreement but understanding.

Obviously, if we hold the same core beliefs, then our level of the intellectual agreement will be high. Still, even then our experiences, our emotions, and our interpretations of spiritual things will not always be identical. For example, one spouse may have spent a great deal of time this week reflecting on the love of God – while the other has been reading about the wrath of God. One is trying to understand the process of one aspect of God’s nature while the other is meditating and reflecting on another aspect. If they are willing to open this part of their lives to each other, they can be richer, and spiritual intimacy is the result.

Take some time to pray individually or together. Ask God…

To remind you that the purpose of spiritual conversations is not agreement but understanding.

To help you listen openly to your loved one so that you can learn from and about him or her.

To deepen your spiritual intimacy.

Read these passages for further study on Communication:

Psalm 73:28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
    I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
    I will tell of all your deeds.

Acts 20:24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Understanding how strong our faith comes by how we study and show it in our lives. We all have moments in our lives where our faith is challenged. How do you stand strong? These passages help me stay focused. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.