Most wish they could share more freely with each other about their spiritual journey. We often speak of emotional intimacy or sexual intimacy, but we seldom talk about spiritual intimacy. Yet this affects all other areas of a relationship.

Just as emotional intimacy comes from sharing our feelings, spiritual intimacy comes from sharing our walk with God. We don’t have to be spiritual giants to have spiritual intimacy as a couple, but we must be willing to share with each other where we are spiritual.

The husband who says, “I’m not feeling very close to God today,” may not inspire great joy in his wife’s heart, but he does open the possibility for her to enter into his spiritual experience. If she responds with, “Tell me about it,” she encourages spiritual intimacy. If, however, she says, “Well, if you don’t feel close to God, guess who moved?” she has stopped the flow, and he walks away feeling condemned. The burdens we share with each other often include feelings of spiritual dryness or difficulty. Spiritual intimacy within marriage requires a willingness to listen without preaching.

Take time to pray and ask God to give you the courage to talk with your loved one about your walk with the Lord. Ask the Lord to help you be kind as the two of you listen to each other and share each other’s burdens.

Discuss together or reflect on these questions:

What have you done or said lately to encourage your spouse in his or her spiritual walk?

What have you done or said lately to discourage your spouse in his or her spiritual walk?

What is your biggest obstacle to spiritual intimacy as a couple? What specific steps can you take to overcome it?

Consider these passages for further study on Spiritual Intimacy:

Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Ephesians 5:23-32

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

1 Peter 3:1-7

Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, ² when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, ⁶ like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

⁷ Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

This moment of realizing how fast people are quick to judge simply does not listen. If we take the time to care and listen more when get on a deeper relationship with each other to learn how we can share our spiritual intimacy.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.

Share your experience in the comments of how you encourage spiritual intimacy and listening.