My advice is wholesome. There is nothing devious or crooked in it. My words are plain to anyone with understanding, clear to those with knowledge. Choose my instruction rather than silver, and knowledge rather than pure gold. For wisdom is far more valuable than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with it.

I, wisdom, live together with good judgment. I know where to discover knowledge and discernment.

All who fear the Lord will hate evil. Therefore, I hate pride and arrogance, corruption and perverse speech.

In verse 13, the Lord instructs us to hate “perverse speech,” which would seem to encompass a variety of verbal offenses. Yet any list of perverted forms of speech must include gossip near the very top. If you have ever been the subject of a virulent strain of gossip, you understand all too well the truth of another proverb: “The tongue can bring death or life” (Proverbs 18-21).

Gossip has the power to destroy lives, even if it is based on truth. The Bible is very specific in its instructions for dealing with others. First Corinthians 13 – with its command to be kind, patient, forgiving, courteous, humble, and generous – sets the gold standard. Gossip runs contrary to every one of those attitudes.

Gossip can also destroy our Christian witness. How can we traffic in perverse speech and still claim to have the love of Christ in us? More to the point, how can we claim to love others while we destroy them with our tongues?

If we ask Him to, God will help us recognize our hurtful speech habits, including gossip. He will help us learn to love others as He loves them and demonstrate that love in the way we speak.

Take time to pray and:

Confess any gossip you’ve been guilty of speaking.

Commit to making your home a gossip-free zone.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When have you or your family been personally affected by gossip? How did you deal with it?

Are the two of you more likely to encourage each other to gossip or to use loving words? Give some examples.

What specific steps can you take to make your home a gossip-free zone?

Consider these passages for further study on Gossip:

Proverbs 11:9 With their words, the godless destroy their friends, but knowledge will rescue the righteous.

Proverbs 16:27 Scoundrels create trouble; their words are a destructive blaze.

Proverbs 18:8 Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.

Keep what you observe and directly approach the person with your issue. If you need help or advice on how to approach someone, don’t use it as gossip; instead, figure out ways to be in control of the issue.

Great guidance of Gary Chapman.

The passage from Proverbs 4:25-27 shows King Solomon’s advice for meeting goals. Essentially, it comes down to knowing where you’re going, setting a straight path to get there, and not getting sidetracked. That’s the approach we need to take if we’re going to meet our goals for marriage.

How do we make time? By eliminating some of the good things, we are doing so that we will have time for the best. Life’s meaning is not found in money, sports, shopping, academic success, or career achievement, as good as some of those things are. It is found in relationships – first with God, and then with people. If you are married, nothing is more important than your marital relationship. It is the framework in which God wants you to invest your life and experience His love. The husband is told to “love” his wife, and she is instructed to “honor” him. How better to love and honor each other than to make time for each other?

Take time to pray, asking God to help you identify what needs to be done in your schedule to improve your relationships. Ask for His help in determining what is good busyness and what is a distraction from other things you might be doing.

Discus or reflect on these questions:

What events exist in your schedule that could be dropped without consequence?

What regular chore could you begin to do together (or occasionally skip) to allow more time together?

Consider these passages for further study on Time:

Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days,
    that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Luke 14:28 Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?

Ephesians 5:15-17  Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

Proverbs 4:25-27 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
    fix your gaze directly before you.
²⁶ Give careful thought to the^[a] paths for your feet
    and be steadfast in all your ways.
²⁷ Do not turn to the right or the left;
    keep your foot from evil.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. One is to make you think of more ways to spend time with your loved ones and make it meaningful. Share in the comments one you remember or would like to plan.

Your prayer might go something like this: “Lord, what is wrong with me? Where am I failing my spouse? What am I doing and saving that I shouldn’t? What am I failing to do or say that I should? Please show me my failures.” This simple prayer (or one like it) has been prayed and answered for thousands of years. Take a look at King David’s prayer, from about 1000 BC: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:23-24) You can be certain that when you pray a prayer like this, God will answer.

Be prepared to make a list of the things He brings to your mind. These may not be major moral failures but could be words and actions that have not been loving and kind. Once you have them written down, you can start planning how to address them.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Ask God to help you…

Recognize the things you’re doing right as a spouse.

Understand the impact your failures have had on your family.

Address the problem areas on your list in a way that honors Him and brings closeness to your family.

When you take time to discuss, reflect on these questions:

When you want an honest opinion about yourself or something you’ve done, who do you turn to? Why?

If you named your spouse in response to the previous question, how do you react to his or her honest assessments? If you didn’t mention your spouse, explain why.

When you examine your own parenting skills, are you more likely to see them in a positive or negative light? Why?

Consider these passages for further study on self-examination:

Psalm 51:1-19 For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is^[b] a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
    to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
    in burnt offerings offered whole;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Keep your strong relationships with others to make yourself even stronger.

In Psalm 135, David praised God for His past blessings. As we praise God for what He has done in the past, we come to thank God that He will be faithful to us in the future. We may sing of our problems, but the heart of our music will be praise to God for who He is and what He is doing in our lives.

Our present circumstances do not hinder our relationships with God; instead, our circumstances may push us to God. You may not be inclined to sing. You may never have sung in your life, but as a Christian, you can sing – if only in private or with your spouse. Try this: choose a psalm to God. Melody, pitch, and rhythm are unimportant. What’s important is that you are expressing praise to God through the words of others who have walked through difficulty.

Take time to pray. If you’re comfortable with the idea, sing your praises instead of speaking them. Choose a favorite hymn or praise song, one that communicates what you are feeling, to use as your prayer to God. You might even consider singing together.

Take time to reflect on these questions:

What are your favorite praise songs?

Why do those particular songs appeal to you?

How often do you sing praise songs when you’re alone?

What would the reaction be if you tried to get your spouse and family to sing with you?

Consider these passages for further study on Worship:

1 Chronicles 16:8-13

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.

Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.

Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord.

Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.

Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given, you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones.

Psalm 68:4 Sing praises to God and to his name! Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds. His name is the Lord- rejoice in his presence!

Ephesians 5:19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts.

Psalm 135:1-21 Praise the Lord!

Praise the name of the Lord! Praise him, you who serve the Lord, in the courts of the house of our God.

Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good; celebrate his lovely name with music.

For the Lord has chosen Jacob for himself, Israel for his own special treasure.

I know the greatness of the Lord – that our Lord is greater than any other god.

The Lord does whatever pleases him throughout all heaven and earth, and on the seas in their depths.

He causes the clouds to rise over the whole earth. He sends the lightning with the rain and releases the wind from his storehouses.

He destroyed the firstborn in each Egyptian home, both people and animals.

He performed miraculous signs and wonders in Egypt against Pharaoh and all his people.

He struck down great nations and slaughtered mighty kings-

Sihon king of the Amorites, Og king of Bashan, and all the kings of Canaan.

He gave their land as an inheritance, a special possession to his people Israel.

Your name, O Lord, endures forever; your fame, O Lord, is known to every generation.

For the Lord will give justice to his people and have compassion on his servants.

The idols of the nations are merely things of silver and gold, shaped by human hands.

They have mouths but cannot speak, and eyes but cannot smell.

And those who make idols are just like them, as are all who trust in them.

O Israel, praise the Lord! O priest – descendants of Aaron – praise the Lord!

O Levites, praise the Lord! All you who fear the Lord, praise the Lord!

The Lord be praised from Zion, for he lives here in Jerusalem.

Praise the Lord!

Noticing how we take our lives to worship and respect the Lord as we go about our daily lives. Sing more, pray more, talk about the Lord more… we find more opportunities to share our heart for the Lord.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.

Whether you have children already or are considering having children in the future, it would be worth your while to make a list of “requirements” for being a good parent. Don’t let the word requirement put pressure or guilt on you as a caring parent. These “requirements” should help you feel good about your authority and role as a parent. Relax and really enjoy your children.

When you’re a fledgling parent, you may find yourself feeling insecure in your parenting. But once you understand what a child needs, you’ll find that it’s not that difficult to meet those “requirements.” The best news is that almost any caring parent is able to do this.

When you see that you are meeting those requirements, you can be assured that your child is receiving good parenting, and you can relax and enjoy your child. You will soon find that you are a better parent than you ever thought you could be.

Take time to pray and present your list of requirements to the Lord. Share any doubts or insecurities you may have about parenting. Ask Him to work in you so that you can become the parents your children need.

Take time to reflect on these questions:

How much pressure do you feel to be good parents?

Where does that pressure come from?

What evidence do you rely on in determining whether someone is a good parent or not?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Deuteronomy 11:18-21 So commit yourself wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors.

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.

Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.

The best thing we can do to our children is to be an example. Make sure they know we love them and do the best for them. It frustrates me when I see that some parent make decisions to make them look good and not putting or being aware that they are listening and putting their children first. The best interest for their children is put aside.

For some people, that kind of guidance seems to come naturally. For others, though, it takes a lot of practice – and usually a lot of trial and error. Where do the two of you fit on the continuum? What kind of teachers are you where your children are concerned?

Here’s a more sobering question: What if your children turn out to be just like you? Would you be concerned? If so, what steps do you need to take? What do you need to change in your parenting? Why not begin that change today?

God is available to help. He has loaded His Word with principles to guild you. He’s also surrounded you with friends, family, and fellow believers to assist you.

Tak time to pray and identify areas of your life in which you’ve failed to reach your potential. Confess any wrong attitudes or actions that have caused you to fail. Ask the Lord to give you the wisdom and courage to change those areas so that you may be a role model to your children.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

Who do you look to as parenting role models – or simply as good parents?

How is your parenting style similar to theirs? How is it different?

How do the two of you complement each other as parents? In what areas are you both lacking?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Proverbs 1:8-9 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
⁹ They are a garland to grace your head
    and a chain to adorn your neck.

Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³ “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”^[a]

⁴ Fathers,^[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Psalm 124:1-8 If the Lord had not been on our side—
    let Israel say—
² if the Lord had not been on our side
    when people attacked us,
³ they would have swallowed us alive
    when their anger flared against us;
⁴ the flood would have engulfed us,
    the torrent would have swept over us,
⁵ the raging waters
    would have swept us away.

⁶ Praise be to the Lord,
    who has not let us be torn by their teeth.
⁷ We have escaped like a bird
    from the fowler’s snare;
the snare has been broken,
    and we have escaped.
⁸ Our help is in the name of the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

Great devotional to evaluate of Gary Chapman.

Looking for examples of other great families and what they do to create valuable relationships helps understand actions to apply. Share what has helped you.

Would you like to change? You can! Repeat this Scripture aloud every morning: “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). If you proclaim this truth to yourself, you will begin to see God’s hand. And your relationships will improve.

Take time to pray, and in your prayer…

Take the words of Psalm 118:24 to heart. Rejoice in the day the Lord has given you;

Tell Him what you appreciate about it and why;

Show Him your thankfulness in no uncertain terms.

When you make time to discuss or reflect on these questions:

How would you describe your own outlook on life? Would your spouse agree?

How would you describe your spouse’s outlook on life? Would he or she agree?

How does your attitude affect the people around you?

Consider these passages for further study on rejoicing:

Psalm 5:11-12 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
    let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

¹² Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous;
    you surround them with your favor as with a shield

Psalm 28:6-7 Praise be to the Lord,
    for he has heard my cry for mercy.
⁷ The Lord is my strength and my shield;
    my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
    and with my song I praise him.

Phillippians 4:4  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

It’s easier to control when you become more aware of your thoughts and language. Sometimes, others will make you aware. So, it’s great to catch it now and have a mindset of rejoicing in the Lord first. Rejoice and be grateful when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Great thoughts from Gary Chapman to help us know our priorities and focus first on the Lord.

In contrast, speaking of the God of Israel, he wrote, “O Israel, trust the Lord! He is your helper and your shield… the Lord remembers us and will bless us” (Psalm 115:9,12). Clearly, the God of Israel expressed His love by acts of service to those who called on Him.

As God’s people, you and your spouse can follow the Lord’s lead. Think about the people in your life to whom you can show acts of service. Who might benefit from your commitment to follow God’s example? How many lives can you change by reaching out to people in ways that make their lives easier? How can you be instruments of God’s grace? And how might the two of you grow closer in the process?

Take time to pray… and

Thank God for His acts of service on behalf of His people throughout the Bible;

Thank Him for His acts of service in your life and in your family;

Ask Him to bless your efforts to perform acts of service as a love language toward others.

Discuss and reflect on these questions:

Why is it so easy to forget the Lord’s past acts of service?

How can you keep those acts of service fresh in your minds?

How can you set an example for your children (or others) through acts of service?

Read these passages for further study on Acts of Service:

Matthew 5:13-16

You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your Heavenly Father.

Philippians 2:1-4

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

I Peter 4:10-11

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen!

Psalm 115:1-18

“Not to us, Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness. Why do the nations say, “Where is their God?” Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him. But their idols are silver and gold, made by human hands. They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but cannot see. They have ears, but cannot hear, noses, but cannot smell. They have hands, but cannot feel, feet, but cannot walk, nor can they utter a sound with their throats. Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them. All you Israelites, trust in the Lord— he is their help and shield. House of Aaron, trust in the Lord— he is their help and shield. You who fear him, trust in the Lord— he is their help and shield. The Lord remembers us and will bless us: He will bless his people Israel, he will bless the house of Aaron, he will bless those who fear the Lord— small and great alike. May the Lord cause you to flourish, both you and your children. May you be blessed by the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. The highest heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth he has given to mankind. It is not the dead who praise the Lord, those who go down to the place of silence; it is we who extol the Lord, both now and forevermore. Praise the Lord.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭115‬:‭1‬-‭18‬ ‭NIV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/111/psa.115.1-18.NIV

Love the Lord who praises. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Use the talents the Lord gave you and bless others with your actions in how you serve the Lord.

Some parents have forgotten how to be confident in a fallen world. Parenting has changed just as our world has changed. As our children grow, we must adapt and tweak our parenting style. Finding the right balance is next to impossible. And any balance found is likely to be upset as our children move into yet another stage of development.

Most of us are well aware of the mistakes we’ve made as parents. Yet, we don’t have to be defined by those mistakes. We can use them as educational tools to help us make the necessary changes for the future. As our children mature, so should we.

Because we’re human, we’ll never be perfect parents. But we serve a perfect God with a deep interest in our children. His Word can inspire, comfort, and empower us to parent.

Take time to pray and thank God for blessing you with your children. Talk to Him about your parenting challenges and disappointments. Ask Him to bless your efforts to raise children who will bring Him honor and glory.

When you make time to discuss or reflect on these questions together:

How did you picture yourself as a parent before you had kids?

What has surprised you most about parenting?

What do you want your parenting legacy to be?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting.

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will vindicate me;
    your love, Lord, endures forever—
    do not abandon the works of your hands.

Isaiah 44:3-5 For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
    and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
    and my blessing on your descendants.
⁴ They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
    like poplar trees by flowing streams.
⁵ Some will say, ‘I belong to the Lord’;
    others will call themselves by the name of Jacob;
still others will write on their hand, ‘The Lord’s,’
    and will take the name Israel.

Jeremiah 31:17 So there is hope for your descendants,”
declares the Lord.
    “Your children will return to their own land.

Psalm 112:1-10 Praise the Lord.^[b]

Blessed are those who fear the Lord,
    who find great delight in his commands.

² Their children will be mighty in the land;
    the generation of the upright will be blessed.
³ Wealth and riches are in their houses,
    and their righteousness endures forever.
⁴ Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
    for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.
⁵ Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
    who conduct their affairs with justice.

⁶ Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
    they will be remembered forever.
⁷ They will have no fear of bad news;
    their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
⁸ Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
    in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
⁹ They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
    their righteousness endures forever;
    their horn^[c] will be lifted high in honor.

¹⁰ The wicked will see and be vexed,
    they will gnash their teeth and waste away;
    the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

Great thoughts of Gary Chapman. Finding the strengths helps focus on seeing more ways to thrive. It can also show where we lean on others with our weaknesses. It takes a village to bring up a child.

Once the experience of falling in love has run its natural course, couples return to the world of reality and begin to assert themselves.

Some couples believe that the end of the in-love experience means they must either resign themselves to a life of misery with their spouse or jump ship and try again. But there is a better alternative: we can recognize the in-love experience for what it was – a temporary emotional high – and pursue “real love” with our spouses.

That kind of love involves an act of the will and requires discipline. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. We need to be loved by someone who chooses to love us, who sees in us something worth loving.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Talk to God about the state of your marriage. Share your thoughts and concerns about the end of your in-love experience with Him. Ask Him to help you choose to love your spouse.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

What percentage of couples would avoid marriage if they knew how difficult it can be? Explain.

Where are you and your spouse on the “in love” timeline? How do you feel about that?

Give an example of how you choose to love your spouse.

Consider these passages for further study on Love:

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up conflict,
    but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Psalm 103:1-5 Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 Who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

This helps you analyze the good, the bad, and the ugly part of love in your relationship. Know what holds you together and will stand fast for the better. Evaluate what you always need to do to make it better.