Try beginning your conversation with God with these words: “Father, I want to know what You would say to me this day. As I read this passage in Your Word, bring to my mind the things You want me to hear.”

Read the Bible passage with pen in hand, marking those things that stand out. If necessary, read it a second time, saying, “Lord, I’m not sure I understood what You were saying. Please clarify what’s on Your mind for me.”

After you complete the passage, talk to God about what you’ve underlined. If that’s what God is saying to you, you want to respond. Many people read the Bible and then pray about something totally unrelated to what they read. Nothing could be more discourteous. We wouldn’t treat a friend like that. If a friend makes a statement, we have a response to what He is saying.

Take time to pray and thank God that you may never have to guess what He wants from you, that He always speaks to you through His Word. Ask Him to bless your efforts to create a listening atmosphere in your quiet time.

Reflect on these questions:

Are your quiet times more effective when you do them individually or together? Explain.

What prevents you from listening closely to God?

Consider these passages for further study on Listening to God.

Psalm 143:8

“Tell me in the morning about your love, because I trust you. Show me what I should do, because my prayers go up to you.”
‭‭

Lamentations 3:25

“The Lord is good to those who hope in him, to those who seek him.”
‭‭‬ ‭NCV‬‬

Habakkuk 2:1

“I will stand like a guard to watch and place myself at the tower. I will wait to see what he will say to me; I will wait to learn how God will answer my complaint.”
‭‭‬ ‭NCV‬‬

Good thoughts of Gary Chapman to be aware of how much we listen and explain to others what we learn.

For example, if your (or your spouse’s) primary love language is quality time, you’ll find a way to have quality conversations with God that fits your lifestyle. Variety in time, place, and method may enhance your experience. If you’re an indoor person, try having quality time with God outdoors, even in challenging weather. Talking to God in the rain can be a rewarding experience if you acknowledge that He is the God who sends the rain.

If your schedule is filled, then skipping lunch and using the time to be alone with God may be more filling than the best steak you’ve ever tasted. Finding a time and a place may be difficult in our fast-paced world, but the heart that longs for God will make time for Him.

Remember the psalmist’s words: “As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2).

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. As you talk to the Lord…

Thank Him for the privilege of coming to Him in prayer.

Ask Him to help you encourage each other to use your individual love language to connect with Him.

Ask Him to bless your efforts to have a deeper relationship with Him.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

When was the last time you longed for God in the way the psalmist described?

How can you use your primary love language to connect with God?

How can your spouse use his or her primary love language to connect with God?

Consider these passages for further study on quality time with God:

Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and my defense^[a];
    he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
    my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

Matthew 6:31-33 ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Luke11:11-13 ¹¹ “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Psalm 42:1-11 For the director of music. A maskil^[c] of the Sons of Korah.

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

⁸ By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Great thoughts from Gary Chapman. They show a priority: we should be aware of the quality time we spend with the Lord.

Those are strong words – words to which you can anchor your parenting philosophy. “I have never seen the godly abandoned.” Troubles will come and go; God will not. No matter what your situation is now or will be in the future, God will never forsake you. He will always be there for you and see you through to the end. As you raise your children, you’ll find countless opportunities to develop the spiritual aspects of their lives – and your own. Don’t pass them up.

“Their children are a blessing.” As you watch your children grow and mature, you will be heartened to see that God is keeping His promises and blessing your children.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank God for providing an example of loving parenthood for you to follow. Ask Him to give the two of you a big-picture view of parenting so that you don’t get bogged down in your day-to-day struggles.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Describe your relationship with your heavenly Father.

Which characteristics of God do you see in your spouse’s parenting style?

Which characteristics of God would you like to incorporate into your parenting style?

Consider these passages for further study on parenting:

Deuteronomy 4:9-10

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. ¹⁰ Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers,^[a] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

It takes studying and watching positive models to be an encouragement to be a positive parent. We often hear controlling and horrible stories of how families live in different cultures. Let’s embrace love first, and the Lord will bless us—great thoughts of Gary Chapman.

What John described matches some fo the classic characteristics of depression. Unfortunately, depression is quite common and does not go away simply with the passing of time. John’s wife needed medical and psychological help – without it, things would get even worse.

Many Christians don’t understand depression and think it is only a spiritual problem. While it may have a spiritual dimension, it is often rooted in physical and emotional imbalance. If this is an issue for you or your loved one, remember Psalm 34:18. The Bible promises that the Lord has compassion for you and deals tenderly with you in your time of depression.

Take time to pray, asking God…

To help you be aware of difficult and dark emotions;

To help you recognize and properly respond to warning signs of depression.

If you have more time, discuss together or reflect on these questions:

What is (or has been) your attitude toward those who struggle with depression?

Have you ever wondered if you or your spouse may suffer from depression?

If you or your spouse struggle with depression, what help are you willing to explore?

Consider these passages for further study on depression:

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

More questions on showing kindness:

1. Share a time when someone expressed kindness to you. How did that kindness change you or your relationship with that person?
2. Read Psalm 36:5-12. In what ways would you say God is kind to His people?
3. Jesus spoke of the value of giving “a cup of cold water” to someone in need (Matthew 10:42). Why did Jesus call attention to such a small gesture?
4. In what ways did Jesus show love in doing something kind for others? Name some ways Jesus has shown kindness to you.
5. Why do acts of kindness draw others to God?
6. Share an example of when your unkind actions could have potentially turned someone away from God.

Psalm 36:7 How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.

Challenge

God’s kindness should motivate us to be kind to others. Still, sometimes, we are least kind to those who live under the same roof as us. Find two opportunities to show extra kindness to your spouse in the next forty-eight hours. If you need ideas, just ask them!

Gary Chapman’s thoughts are great. By keeping awareness, love, and kindness in the forefront, our prayers will be listened to.

Only through the healing act of confession could David be restored to a right relationship with God and live as the man God had called him to be.

The feeling of being wronged by a spouse can cloud the marriage relationship. But when we, motivated by love, confront our spouse, receive their apology, and forgive, we free them from their burden, as the Lord freed David, and we can go on to rebuild trust and health in the relationship.

Of course, it is tempting when we’ve been wronged to feel like the “good person “ in the marriage. But we too must confess our own sin and admit our own inadequacy. That will help us become more loving, free to forgive- as God has forgiven us.

Take time to pray, individually or as a couple. Acknowledge to the Lord that it’s easy to forget that He conflicts His people of sin because He loves us. Thank Himself for wanting you to be more like Him – and ask for His assistance as the two of you try it.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

What kind of offense is hardest for you to forgive? Why?

Why is it so difficult to give up moral superiority after you’ve been wronged?

What’s the most loving thing you can do after your spouse has wronged you?

Consider these passages for further study on Repentance and Forgiveness:

Psalm 51:1-19

“God, be merciful to me because you are loving. Because you are always ready to be merciful, wipe out all my wrongs. Wash away all my guilt and make me clean again. I know about my wrongs, and I can’t forget my sin. You are the only one I have sinned against; I have done what you say is wrong. You are right when you speak and fair when you judge. I was brought into this world in sin. In sin my mother gave birth to me. You want me to be completely truthful, so teach me wisdom. Take away my sin, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Make me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you crushed be happy again. Turn your face from my sins and wipe out all my guilt. Create in me a pure heart, God, and make my spirit right again. Do not send me away from you or take your Holy Spirit away from me. Give me back the joy of your salvation. Keep me strong by giving me a willing spirit. Then I will teach your ways to those who do wrong, and sinners will turn back to you. God, save me from the guilt of murder, God of my salvation, and I will sing about your goodness. Lord, let me speak so I may praise you. You are not pleased by sacrifices, or I would give them. You don’t want burnt offerings. The sacrifice God wants is a broken spirit. God, you will not reject a heart that is broken and sorry for sin. Do whatever good you wish for Jerusalem. Rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Then you will be pleased with right sacrifices and whole burnt offerings, and bulls will be offered on your altar.‬‬

Romans 2:4

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

1 John 1:9

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness.

We are not perfect and recognizing when we realize we have done wrong. The Lord is merciful and gives us grace and wisdom to forgive. Making opportunities to set things right. Being patient to live in faith. Great thoughts of Gary Chapman.

The Bible is filled with God’s words of affirmation. He verbalized His love to us in John 3:16 and dozens of other passages. We need to look no further than Christmas for evidence of God’s gift-giving. Ephesians 2:4-6 reminds us that He gave us the greatest gift when He sent His Son.

His act of service is what the cross is all about. Romans 5:8 tells us Christ paid our penalty. Follow the life of Jesus, and you’ll see Him demonstrating physical touch over and over again. And passages such as James 4:8 clarify that God is ready to spend quality time with all who want it. Turn your thoughts toward Him, and you’ll find His thoughts are already on you.

Since God is fluent in all five love languages, He is uniquely equipped to help you discover yours – or your spouse’s.

Take time to talk to the Lord…

Thank Him for the variety of ways in which He communicates to you;

Ask Him to give you the wisdom to recognize His love, even when it’s communicated in a language you don’t speak;

Ask Him to guide you in helping others recognize and understand God’s love languages.

Reflect on questions about your application to love languages.

Give an example of a time God communicated to you in your primary love language.

Which love language is most difficult for you to understand? Why?

How can you help your spouse or kids recognize God’s love?

Consider these passages for further study of God’s Love.

Zephaniah 3:17 For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Galatians 2:20 My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

I John 4:7-8 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Spiritual intimacy is created by discussing thoughts about spiritual realities. For example, a wife reads Psalm 23 and is intrigues by the personal pronouns: “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need” (Psalm 23:1). She discusses it with her husband, and he tells her about his experience with a shepherd in Australia. They experience spiritual intimacy.

Shared experiences foster spiritual intimacy. A husband and wife attend worship services together, share a hymn book, and sing the same words. They take notes from the pastor’s sermon. On the way home, they talk about the service. They are building spiritual intimacy.

Praying together is another way of building spiritual intimacy. Two people joining in honest personal prayer will discover a deep spiritual unity. If you find it uncomfortable to verbalize prayers in front of your spouse, try silent praying. Though no words are uttered audibly, your hearts will move closer to each other, and you will experience spiritual intimacy.

Take time to pray and bring to the Lord the obstacles that prevent you from experiencing spiritual intimacy with each other. Ask Him to give you the wisdom and resolve to overcome those obstacles and become spiritually intimate.

Take time to discuss and reflect on these questions:

When did you last have a really good conversation about spiritual things?

When do you feel most spiritually intimate with each other?

What keeps you from being more spiritually intimate with each other?

Consider these passages for further study on Spiritual intimacy:

Genesis 2:18-25 ¹⁸ The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

¹⁹ Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam^[a] no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs^[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib^[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

²³ The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”

²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

²⁵ Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Philippians 3:7-11 ⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in^[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

1 Peter 3:7-12 ⁷ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Suffering for Doing Good

⁸ Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. ⁹ Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. ¹⁰ For,

“Whoever would love life
    and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
    and their lips from deceitful speech.
¹¹ They must turn from evil and do good;
    they must seek peace and pursue it.
¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
    and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”^[a]

Psalm 23:1-6

Find ways to make you comfortable sharing spiritual conversations with those you love.

As you provide for your children’s basic needs – food, clothing, and shelter – so God provides for His children day after day. However, other gifts of God are reserved for those who ask. Jesus once said, “Keep asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8).

Bring your requests to God, whether for your family, spouse, or yourself.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Spend a few minutes praising Him for the awe-inspiring beauty of His creation. Thank Him for the gifts He gives to everyone – especially those He gives specifically to you.

If you have more time…

Discuss together or reflect on these questions:

Which gifts of God in creation mean the most to you? Why?

How can you help each other recognize God’s gifts?

What gifts have you specifically requested from God? What were the results?

Consider these passages for further study of God’s Gifts:

Luke 11:11-13 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

John 4:4-10 Now he had to go through Samaria. ⁵ So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. ⁶ Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired from the journey, sat by the well. It was about noon.

⁷ When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” ⁸ (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

⁹ The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.^[a])

¹⁰ Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

Romans 5:12-21 Death Through Adam, Life Through Christ

¹² Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people because all sinned—

¹³ To be sure, sin existed before the law was given, but sin is not charged against anyone’s account where there is no law. ¹⁴ Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who is a pattern of the one to come.

¹⁵ But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! ¹⁶ Nor can the gift of God be compared with the result of one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. ¹⁷ For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!

¹⁸ Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people. ¹⁹ For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

²⁰ The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, ²¹ so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Psalm 19:1-14 For the director of music. A psalm of David.

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice^[b] goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
⁵     It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
    like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
⁶ It rises at one end of the heavens
    and makes its circuit to the other;
    nothing is deprived of its warmth.

⁷ The law of the Lord is perfect,
    refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.
⁸ The precepts of the Lord are right,
    giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
    giving light to the eyes.
⁹ The fear of the Lord is pure,
    enduring forever.
The decrees of the Lord are firm,
    and all of them are righteous.

¹⁰ They are more precious than gold,
    than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
    than honey from the honeycomb.
¹¹ By them your servant is warned;
    in keeping them there is great reward.
¹² But who can discern their own errors?
    Forgive my hidden faults.
¹³ Keep your servant also from willful sins;
    may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
    innocent of great transgression.

¹⁴ May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight,
    Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

When we see the beautiful things around us, we know they are gifts from God—even our relationships and the people around us. We should be thankful for everything. Those who make us the most happy would mean the most to us. Recognize and find ways to let others know what makes you happy and how blessed we are with God’s gifts.

No one can ever destroy the deep peace that results from knowing God as Father in the privacy of our hearts. Nothing could bring more security. No human relationship can replace our need to share life with God. He, in turn, will lead us in developing human relationships in which we can love and be loved by others.

The secret to creating a thriving marital relationship is establishing a deep connection with God, individually and as a couple. Give Him a chance to work in and through your lives and your relationships. You’ll be glad you did.

Take some time to pray individually or as a couple. Examine your relationship with your Heavenly Father in His Presence. Talk to Him about areas in which you feel close and others in which you feel distant. Acknowledge that He has authority over your marriage and ask Him to bless your efforts to create intimacy with Him.

If you have more time…

Discuss together or reflect on these questions:

How would you describe your personal relationship with God right now? Why?

What aspects of your relationship have been the most difficult to give up to God’s leadership? Why?

What books, songs, or advisors have influenced your view of God’s leadership?

Consider these passages for further study on following God:

Matthew 26:24-25 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”

²⁵ Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?”

Jesus answered, “You have said so.”

John 8:31-32 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. ³² Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Ephesians 5:1-2 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children ² and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Psalm 16:1-11 A miktam^[a] of David.

¹ Keep me safe, my God,
    for in you I take refuge.

² I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    apart from you I have no good thing.”
³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,
    “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
    I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
    or take up their names on my lips.

⁵ Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
    you make my lot secure.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
⁷ I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    nor will you let your faithful^[b] one see decay.
¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Great thoughts if Gary Chapman helps us find ways to be a better leader. An encouragement to keep learning and applying what you learn as a leader.

How do you enhance spiritual intimacy with your spouse? It may be as simple as sharing your response to the Sunday morning sermon, especially if you share something that you will try to apply to your own life.

It may be sharing something you read in the Bible in your personal quiet time with God. One thing you don’t want to do is preach to your spouse. Share with him or her something meaningful to you, not something you think your spouse should apply to his or her life. Praying together is also a way to build spiritual intimacy, even if you hold hands and pray silently. Joining hands means that you are also joining hearts. Coming to God together builds intimacy.

Take time to pray individually or as a couple. Thank God for your loved ones and His plans for you to share spiritual intimacy. Ask Him to bless your efforts to develop or enhance your spiritual intimacy with each other – and with Him.

Take time to discuss together or reflect on these questions:

How do you encourage spiritual intimacy in your spouse?

How does your spouse encourage spiritual intimacy in you?

What’s the difference between sharing something with your spouse and preaching to him or her?

Consider these passages for further study on Spiritual Intimacy:

Psalm 23:1-6 A psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

John 4:23-24 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. ²⁴ God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Colossians 3:16-17 ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Psalm 1:1-6 Psalm 1

¹ Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

⁴ Not so the wicked!
    They are like chaff
    that the wind blows away.
⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
    nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

⁶ For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
    but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Applying spiritual intimacy can increase your relationship with the Lord and with yourself. Challenge yourself to find more ways to increase spiritual intimacy with those around you to keep yourself spiritually strong. Gary Chapman‘s thoughts are great.